Recently I have been self harming. Im not sure if I'm allowed to say how though. Should I tell my doctor? And if I do , how do I tell her? She is quite approachable and lovely. The idea of telling her that I S/H, fills me with so much anxiety! How do I blurt that out? What would she do? I already am booked for 6 psychologist appointments and I have written it down as one of my reasons for attending. Any advice please?

Thanks very much.

 Dear Ljpd81,

We’re so grateful to have you reach out to our community this morning and are so sorry to hear everything you have going on at the moment. Times like this can definitely get overwhelming . We hope that you find our forums to be a safe and supportive space to talk through your thoughts and feelings. Our community is here for you. 

We hope you know that there is always help available to you, whether it's from our professional mental health counsellors Beyond Blue (available 24/7/365 on 1300 22 4636) or our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).
Keep checking back in with us whenever you feel up to it. Confiding in your Psychologist is also definitley going to be helpful. The sessions are a safe space and everything is also kept confidential.

Thanks very much. Appreciate that.

Something is wrong with me. Just specifically bought something at work so i could sh and i did.

I feel shaky and now need to put my normal face on for work.

Hi LJpd81,

We are really sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. Thoughts of self harm can be very distressing and tough to manage, but we think it is an incredibly brave thing to bring your story to us and share your thoughts. We think that talking about these feelings is a great step on the journey towards positive mental health - thank you for showing the courage to take that step. 

We think that it could be helpful for you to check in with our team by calling 1300 22 4636, they can help you process these feelings. 

Please feel free to check back in and update us on how you are feeling, if you are comfortable doing so. This community it here for you, you don't have to go through this alone. 

Kind regards, 
Sophie M

Hi Ljpd81

That was a huge thing to share your self harm here and to let us know how you are feeling. I am so sorry that things are hard to manage for you right now. Please keep some support numbers written down, perhaps even in your pocket, in the event that you need to reach for one quickly and you have it available and are not confused by searching for one. If you are in danger please call 000.

I also wanted to say to you that there is no shame in sharing what you are doing to yourself. It is a coping mechanism that people turn to when there seems few options. While it is dangerous and it is not encouraged it is real and there is no denying that people are using this way to feel, or to cope, or to escape..whatever the reason be.

I think it is very important for you to share this information with your doctor, as you mentioned she is very lovely and quite approachable. If speaking the words worries you, or blurting it out, you can write it down and say that you are having trouble saying these words but you need her to know. She will understand the sensitivity and start a conversation with you, start the words and you can then even respond with written ones if that helps too. As far as your question "what will she do?", she will probably react with calm, she may ask you some questions about how you are feeling when you do this, or if you are feeling anything at all, she may ask you what you are doing, she may not. I think all in all though she will be caring and want to provide you some time to share, if that is what you want.

I also wanted to share with you a thread that is here with people sharing how they cope and what they do instead of hurting themselves, some things here might help, they may not, I hope that you can have a look and consider some of the alternatives for you.

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/suicidal-thoughts-and-self-harm/instead-of-harming-myself-i-now-(list-three-of-four-dot-points)

I also wanted to say how great it is that you have already written things down for your psychologist appointment, that you are thinking of what you want to share and focus your sessions on, to get the best out of your time and also to ensure you don't miss anything, I think that is great. It will also give you some sense of calm I think too, that you can prepare for the session and feel like you are managing it.

I am not sure if this has been helpful to you today but I wanted to say how proud I am of you for sharing.

Hugs

Sarah

Hello LJpd81..

I am so very sorry to read that you have been sh..that really saddens my heart and soul...

To answer the question on your thread title....Yes, I did tell both my Dr. and counsellor that I was sh..when I was doing it...They both gave me some coping tools..you’ve probably already heard of them....but I’ll tell you anyway, because I’m concerned about you...wear an elastic band around your wrist and snap it hard enough so that you can feel it give a sting..,.Hold some ice in your hands, write on your skin with a red pen or texta....

Please dear LJ, try hard to remember that your medical team care very much for you and only want to give you the very best care they can for you....

If it’s to hard to verbally tell your Dr..maybe write down your thoughts on a piece of paper and also about your self harming...You’re Dr. really needs to know everything that is going on mentally in your life..so she can give you the best treatment and care that you deserve and is available to help you.....

Here if you feel to talk dearest LJ..with my care and kind thoughts for you..

Grandy..

Thanks so much everyone for the support and advice. I really appreciate it.

I'm at work. I'mfeeling low. I have no reason to. I'm puttong on my happy face as i will not not be sad for my work mates and customers. It's hard though.

Hi LJ, I SH when I was younger. I had started S Harming more recently, I suffer severe chronic spine pain that’s relentless . Not one person in my life knew what I had been doing. I finally confided in a trusting friend. She had so much compassion but told me if I didn’t tell my Osteopath she will. ( she knows how caring he is ) So I told him , I really had to this time as he would have seen what I had done to myself. He was so caring but did say he will have to report me to my GP. I felt like my world was about to fall apart. But I was very wrong , my GP was wonderful as well, didn’t ask what or how or why I’d SH . So do tell your dr, if you have a good friend take them too. Still no one apart from those three people know. So I have help if I need to talk . Though my osteopath wants me to confide in my psychologist when I see her in two weeks . But will wait and see if I am ready. I am not young by any means, just sharing a little info on my experience telling GP only yesterday.

Hi LJpd81

There does not have to "be a reason" to feel bad, or down, or like there is no hope, that is the way that these conditions that effect mental health behave. It is not personal and it is not a choice. Please try to take a moment to allow yourself to know that you are not to blame and you have done nothing wrong, that there are no reasons sometimes for these thoughts or feelings.

I am glad you are chatting here and letting us know how you are going.

It is a nice idea too to be able to "put on a happy face", sure sometimes trying to make a smile does work in that you do sometimes feel better but you don't have to do that here, so please vent and purge and get out what you need so perhaps there is a small chance that the "fake" smile might actually turn into a real one and that you can find one small thing even today to smile, to find one small bit of joy.

I am proud you are getting though the work day too, that I imagine is not easy so well done.

Hugs
Sarah

Yes I did manage real smiles today with customers. Was hard as I admit that I did S/h again at work in a break. A5 times I feel empty and I hope it makes me feel better. I know it's wrong and I should stop. Something is terribly wrong in my head.

The more I think about it, I feel I need to tell my GP. It's not normal.

My friend knows and I have told her today I did it. She's very worried about me me and now keeps asking if I'm ok.

Just to be clear, I will never do anything worse. I'm just having a hard time.

I do hope you are ok too and thank you

I would not. Had a bad experience telling a medical professional I was suicidal. Never again.

I hope you're ok. Hope things are ok for you now

Yes fine now. Was years ago. Thanks for caring.

You're welcome. I'm glad you are ok and thank you for telling me.

I am the same LJ, I would never want not wake up the next day. I suppose SH was my relief. Being in so much constant pain and to look at me you wouldn’t think anything was wrong with me . I did tell my GP that after SH I had a reason for my pain. So once we get on top of it again I may be ok.
keep us posted how you go.

Thanks heaps. I was talking to my best friend just now and I realise I have a problem. She wants me to promise her no matter if early hours of morning, that I will sms or ring her. But I can't. She was saying don't do it.  I'm crying as I write this. I haven't tonight but I want to.

I don't want to worry my best friend, but she's already worried. 😭

Hey LJpd81,

Thanks for continuing to reach out tonight and share your thoughts with us. It sounds as though you have a really supportive friend who cares a lot for you.

We would recommend you talk these thoughts through with a counsellor. There are always counsellors available via phone or webchat for your most difficult moments. Some of these 24/7 services include Lifeline on 13 11 14 / (online chat available 7pm-12am) or our own Support Service. We can be reached 24/7 on 1300 22 4636 or on email and Webchat (3pm-12am AEST) through our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport . Please know that we are all here to support you. Our Support Service is trying to reach out to you via email as we are worried about you. We hope you'll be in touch soon. 
 

Thank you. I'm ok though. Thank you for caring

I am crying over the song, We are the world and every song really. What's wrong with me.

I feel I need to talk to my doctor that I like wine. Because I'm thinking my doctor will know my points of my issues, which are depression, anxiety, self harm and alcohol dependence because of my psychologist. Do I say, don't want to hide it. I think my GP and psychologist will communicate as I have a mental health plan.

What i meant to say, is, do I tell my GP every issue? Because I feel it will be communicated back to her via my psychologist. So I'm confused. Thank you

Hi LJpd81!

I am very sorry to hear that you’re going through so much at the moment, I am also very proud of you for reaching out and seeking advice. It takes a lot of courage to do so.

I would definitely talk to your GP about S/H and what you are going through at the moment. GP’s are very helpful and are there to help support you through whatever it is you need. Even though you will discuss this with your psychologist, I think it would be also beneficial to mention to your GP about all that has been going on for you and what has been happening in terms of SH. She may offer further options for help and offer you guidance & coping mechanisms to help you when you are feeling like you want to SH.

Your best friend sounds amazing too! She sounds like she will always be there for you if you need a chat, sometimes it is helpful to talk to people you trust about what is going on for you. Sometimes it is good to have a good vent and let things off your chest. :)

We are all here for you, all the best for your GP appointment :)

I just feel horrible. My best friend promised I wouldn't, and I did tonight S/H. I feel terrible.

I will talk to my doctor. Do I mention alcohol or not?

Yes mt best friend is amazing. She has her own stuff going on, yet there for me. I feel terrible for worrying her.

Thanks so much for the support too.

I'm feeling a bit scared. A Beyond blue counsellor is meant to be ringing me soon and I feel so scared. Ahh

Well, i missed 2 calls. Stayed up especially. Phone rung 10 seconds. I just missed both. So if I want to speak to someone, I need to ring. I'm so upset right now. I wanted to speak to someone. I can barely see through tears . I have to get to bed as babysitting today, Saturday.

I rung the hotline. The guy I spoke to was very helpful and calming. Recommend.

I am so tired this morning. I stayed up to talk to someone plus I had a few drinks. I feel so bad today, I had to get up as I am baby sitting today.

Well done I am so proud of you.

The people at Beyond Blue are angels. So wonderful and I am glad you felt the support and care but that you called. I could hear how terrified you were to do that.

I hope this gives you some comfort too to be able to use the support services when you feel so overwhelmed.

You do have a very dear friend and maybe a little change of thinking here and instead of thinking you don’t want to call or text so as not to worry her.. how about letting her be the friend she is and letting her be there for you to love and care for you.. after all that is what you would do for her. Let her xxx

Much love and hugs today xx

Sarah xx