Sorry you are feeling this way today I know it’s really difficult and distressing.
Please stop googling I believe it’s a compulsion to try to bring down your anxiety it will only make it worse in the long run…
Have you tried to challenge your thoughts?
Please try to do a guided meditation for learning to watch your thoughts…..
You can try mindfulness….. instead of putting your attention on what’s in your mind you need to bring your attention out of your mind and into something in the present moment…….
I know the OCD cycle is a very vicious but you can learn how to break free of it..
I have written two threads
Someone who had ocd and recovered and another - effective treatment for OCD… metacognitive therapy……
Have you an appointment with your psychologist soon?
im here to chat… try to slow down your breathing..