hello, love your username by the way.
with going of my meds, i feel that it has helped in all aspects, apart from the faking it part, i feel so guilty about it. i have not told my GP, or my family that i have stopped taking my meds, since the conversation with my mother didn't go so well.
my body issues have made doing prac (physical part of HPE) really uncomfortable, i don't eat at school, however this weekend i ate 3 meals both days, i don't like to eat in front of my boyfriend, and i am working on that, i used to love swimming, and now that it is warming up in QLD, im not looking forward to it now. when ever im out, i always try to look my best and hid the parts i don't like, and often feel like i am going to be judged everywhere i go, making me anxious (even though i think my anxiety was fake). i haven't hated my body since going of my meds, ( also think that both BDD and OSFED are fake), but i used to want to (in my head!!!) cut parts off that i didnt like, and would always focus on them, and why they are bad. i still weigh myself every day, (probably not good) but my mother thinks its normal.
i have heard about the butterfly foundation, through my own research, and i am scared to reach out as i think i don't fit in or qualify for OSFED or BDD, and i am scared of being told im faking it and dont need help even though ironically, i say those exact things to myself. i think in general i am scared to try and get a diagnosis from a professionals due to the last 2 prof i have told, and fear that they will tell me its my ASD again.
i have been scared to even talk about it becuase i think im faking it, or its not bad and feel really silly for everything i have told people, and talking about it here, and quite guilty for it.
so im not really sure if i even need help anymore though, but i will keep it in mind