Well I haven’t been on here in ages. I gotta be honest I’ve been degrading month by month. I normally don’t like talking about stuff lately. You know the old talk positive and she’ll be right attitude - Yea I’m just not feeling it.
my ocd is soo bad now I’m literally battling mental rituals in my head constantly. Trying some meds but they ain’t helping. I yell things out to shut things down but that barely helps. It’s beyond ridiculous now. I know they are phantom fears, some one tell my brain that.
it’s hard to shut down the thousands of negative thoughts I get and even harder to process normal thoughts or tasks whilst these other negative thoughts are in my head.
my insomnia is so bad I literally sleep an average of 3 - 4 hours a night and the sleep is crap as. I feel like a crack head but I don’t do drugs.
it’s been 18 months now. I am seriously considering the dsp but I only have a clinical psychologist who can help me and a registered psychologist. Is this enough.
to be fair I don’t like meds so I do not want to see a psychiatrist again. Meds are too risky for me, I don’t even like the feeling I’m getting currently on my meds. I will persevere for awhile tho on them. Gp meds they are.
I know meds now sound like my only option but I was actually doing better seeing my psychologist more regularly.
I know I can get out of this without meds but I need time and a hell of a lot of it. Worrying about Centrelink and even the next cert expire is not helping. Cbt from my psychologist will work, I just haven’t seen him in 2 months. Seeing him in 3 days.
I will need a dsp for 2 years to sort myself out. If anyone can help me that would be much appreciated.
the bladder thing kinda settled down but then all this other crap came up. To be honest I preferred the bladder thing (psychosomatic not anatomical).
I have a psychical disability too but I barely even care about that. I would chop off both my legs and 1 hand if it meant having a normal brain. Mental health is soo important it’s not funny