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Forums / Grief and loss / How/what can I do to help my parents? Son/brother suicide 2 months ago

Topic: How/what can I do to help my parents? Son/brother suicide 2 months ago

4 posts, 0 answered
  1. Mike1111
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Mike1111 avatar
    3 posts
    9 November 2018

    Does anyone have any suggestions (maybe based on past experiences)

    I am from a close family of 5. I am one of three boys (I am a twin - the oldest) and I recently lost my little / brother 30 years old.

    is there anything I can say or do that will help my parents through there grief / trauma???

  2. smallwolf
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    smallwolf avatar
    5884 posts
    10 November 2018 in reply to Mike1111

    Mike,

    Hello and welcome to beyond blue.

    I am sorry to hear about the loss of your brother. My sincere condolences.

    Can I ask if you have looked at the pages on the beyond blue website..

    https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=http://resources.beyondblue.org.au/prism/file%3Ftoken%3DBL/1300&ved=2ahUKEwiTm6Gi6MneAhWYeisKHcFbBCwQFjABegQICBAB&usg=AOvVaw2YHZFFDQO1pmtElgs9KPW8

    or you can also google search

    Suicide loss survivor

    Or

    Suicide loss survivor beyond blue

    Outside of resources on the internet, there maybe local groups in your area for people like yourself and your family, who support each other in these times. Again, beyond blue has information on groups in each state.

    And if your parents or other family members need to talk or want counseling, that also available.

    There are also a few other threads on the forum about coping and grieving after suicide. I can find the links if you want them.

    Peace,

    Tim

    1 person found this helpful
  3. Quercus
    Champion Alumni
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    Quercus avatar
    3546 posts
    10 November 2018 in reply to Mike1111

    Hi Mike and welcome to the forums.

    I'm sorry to hear about your little brother. It is understandable you are worried for your parents but also how are you holding up?

    A close friend of mine lost a family member to suicide this year. She asked for help finding local support groups, helplines and resources to give to her family. When we are very distressed it can be so hard to search and organise help for ourselves so she did the searching.

    Would this help your parents too? A good place to start is the suicide call back service. The helpline offers support for anyone affected by suicide.

    I do hope though that you have someone who will help you too. My friend spent so much time supporting everyone else I was worried for her. Do you have a partner or close friend who will look out for you?

    Nat

  4. Mrs AK
    Mrs AK avatar
    9 posts
    9 December 2018 in reply to Mike1111

    Hi mike

    I have just read your post knowing what extreme sadness you are feeling right now . On the 15th of October I lost my youngest son to suicide . He was 24 . I have two older sons 26 and 29 and you could be the voice of either of them asking the same questions .

    I have discovered as a parent the feelings we feel are slightly different but very much the same as how the siblings feel . The questions that roll around in our head , the memories and moments that we all dissect and try to put back together .

    I have found we are all together in our pain but also seperate in our pain . There will be times when we need to talk and times when we need to be silent and within a family , these may not be at the same time.

    I feel for you all , and it’s something that we like you would never have imagined having to face . You need to be kind to yourself first and foremost , and give your parents hugs anytime you can , they’re good for the soul .

    Everything has become harder to do right now , as emotional energy being used equals exhaustion . If you see mum or dad struggling with cooking or cleaning or going to work if they are like me it’s like I’ve forgotten how to do some things .

    I wish to send you and your family peace for the coming months and I hope this helps knowing there are others in exactly the same situation . Take care xx

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