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Forums / Long term support over the journey / Anyone had to spend days alone without anyone to talk to?

Topic: Anyone had to spend days alone without anyone to talk to?

  1. Paw Prints
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    1650 posts
    20 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hello Hanna,

    How did you go with your call about the inspections?

    I'm hopeless at parties, even some family events. My memory fails me so often, I can never remember what people do to earn a crust, where they live, pretty much anything about their kids & all too often their names (including with family). Not helped by the fact I really need to get a hearing aid & have done for many years. I'm also at a complete loss when it comes to small talk, it's a skill I've never mastered.

    I can understand you feeling homesick for the peace & quiet. It sounds like you had a routine that suited you where you were previously. I'm just wondering if perhaps there is somewhere locally (even a short drive) where you could find a peaceful spot (by a river perhaps) & spend sometime each day before it gets to hot, with a book & a thermos of coffee. You could put a long lead on Sam & let him wander/paddle while you sit on a folding chair/rug. A chance to spend an hour or so away from the bustle of town might help you feel less stressed & having an enjoyable routine to start your day may help you feel more settled.

    How are you doing with sussing out the who, what, where of doing home/nursing home visits. Are there any nursing homes in your town? Do you know if such visits are co-ordinated by the local council or are they run by local charity/community groups? I get the impression you would benefit just as much as the person you visited.

    So far today : pain vs fear of dentist = fear is winning. So I haven't rung one. I do have a Psych appointment in the morning, so I will have to see how I go trying to talk. Pain may win out.

    Woofa sends hello slobbers

    Pats to Sam

    Paws

  2. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3219 posts
    20 January 2020 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hi there Paws! I was hoping you might have been able to get that molar fixed but I understand not liking the dentist...

    I rang Housing this morning they said their records showed I had never had an inspection in November - I described the young woman and he said he thought he knew who it was and would phone me back but of course he hasn't so I'll have to ring again tomorrow. It looks as though she hasn't done her paperworkt! Unfortunately they don't give you anything at the time of inspection, and where I lived before they didn't bother with inspections, so now I know next time to ask for their name and write it down.

    It got very hot so I went to my friend's house for some aircon, after that had to do some shopping and then walk Sam so I've just sat down now. We had severe storms but now the air is nice and clear. My friend got back tonight so today was my last chance to get into some aircon for a while...

    I would love to find a peaceful place to just sit, that's what I used to do in Coastal Town with a book and a thermos and Sam by the water. I didn't realize just how horrendous the drought is here as everything was under snow when I came out to look... there would be some nice places by the river except that the river is barely a trickle (not enough to cover your toes) and the ground everywhere is dry dust and burrs. The once beautiful countryside is like a lunar landscape. So there is really nowhere nice to go any more until this terrible drought ends and nobody knows when that will be. We've had dust storms constantly since I arrived. The fires have impacted here too with lots of areas just charred.

    I know the nursing home visiting would need a police check, but I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed lately and haven't done anything about it. I really have to pace myself carefully. One stressful phone call in a day (like today) is all I can manage for the day.

    I can never remember people's names - as a child my parents were incredibly strict and if I didn't use someone's name correctly I got all hell for it. It took a psych to work out that when someone says their name I am so scared of forgetting it that I dissociate and don't hear it at all! He said that would have been happening when I was a child so no use my parents yelling at me as it just made the trauma and fear worse!

    Sorry I haven't got much news today - bit of a quiet day. Sam sends furry hugs to you and Woofa. Little Sam trying to hug a Great Dane would be a sight! xx

  3. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3219 posts
    20 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    When I stepped outside last night Little Possum was tucking into the fruit I leave out - what with banana, apple, grapes and carrot he/she is enjoying quite a feast each evening! Nice to see that one creature is getting a decent feed in this awful drought!

    I sat out on the verandah at my friend's place today, she has a nicer garden (more trees luckily still alive) and a shady verandah with an old rocking chair on it - it's very soothing sitting on a rocking chair just enjoying the trees and the breeze. I wish my place had a verandah but it has none, an old 1950s fibro. Sam likes lying on the verandah too. Very peaceful. Hope you go well with your psych tomorrow Paws xx

  4. Katyonthehamsterwheel
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    21 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hello

    Sorry you're a bit lonely. I'm in a slump I can't seem to climb out of so I'm not much help. I can't even think of anything to say. Oh dear. I might just pop one of my favourite poems below. Hugs to you and Sam x

    The day is cold, and dark, and dreary;
    It rains, and the wind is never weary;
    The vine still clings to the mouldering wall,
    But at every gust the dead leaves fall,
    And the day is dark and dreary.

    My life is cold, and dark, and dreary;
    It rains, and the wind is never weary;
    My thoughts still cling to the mouldering Past,
    But the hopes of youth fall thick in the blast,
    And the days are dark and dreary.

    Be still, sad heart! and cease repining;
    Behind the clouds is the sun still shining;
    Thy fate is the common fate of all,
    Into each life some rain must fall,
    Some days must be dark and dreary.

    - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

    2 people found this helpful
  5. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3219 posts
    21 January 2020 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Thanks for that Katy - although I confess dark and dreary would be preferable to the horrendous heatwave coming our way from tomorrow on... oh help.

    Sorry you are in a slump. I've hit a whopper too so we're both feeling crook! I feel like I'll go mad if I stay here any longer I've never been so alone for months - and so bored and hot.

    All I can say is eventually we get out of these slumps but they're absolutely horrible while they last aren't they? You take care of yourself and I'll try and take care of myself (and poor Sam who always thinks it's his fault somehow... poor guy). Hugs from him to you and me both!

  6. Paw Prints
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    21 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hello Hanna, wave to Katy,

    I think you're wise limiting the stressful things to do in a day, the visiting people will still be an option whenever you feel up to organising it.

    You don't seem able to take a trick at present, do you. You get access to air con just as you hit a cooler period & then you lose it just as it starts to heat up again. Now you have housing not following through like they should. It's not surprising you're in a slump given what the last few months have been like for you.

    Poor Sam thinking your slump is his fault. I'm forever surprised how well dogs can read us & know when we are down. Does he follow you around trying to make up to you or does he stay on his bed out of the way.

    Saw my Psych this morning, spent most of the session talking about her trip to a Buddhist retreat in India which she's just back from & her impending trip to Thailand.

    Pain has won, I have an appointment with the dentist for tomorrow. I wish I could take Woofa for support.

    Hugs

    Paws

  7. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3219 posts
    21 January 2020 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hi there Paws! I was hoping you'd come by...

    Thanks for making me almost chuckle, yes I must have a list a mile long now of Things Gone Wrong Since I Moved Here - including only getting the aircon during a cool spell!

    Have phoned Housing three times in three days, three different people have promised to ring back and haven't done so. All I know is they say there is no record of my previous inspection although they know which staff member came here that day. So tomorrow I phone and ask for a supervisor I guess and try to find out what on earth's going on. I get the feeling they're covering up a stuff up... well obviously it is since I did have the inspection... it's just so intrusive and means I have to stay in the house for hours when it's baking hot next week and wait for someone to come in and check the place out yet again. I don't cope very well with strangers coming in and looking around my home it's such an invasion of privacy...

    I'm not sure if your psych talking about her trip away was really useful or was it? It doesn't sound like what you would have needed to discuss, shouldn't it be about you? Or was it interesting?

    Good luck tomorrow with the tooth, I hate feeling trapped in a dentist's chair so can understand how much you must not be looking forward to the visit. Will try to send some positive vibes your way!!!

    Sam reads my every mood, dogs are amazing aren't they? He follows me around and tries to curl up in my lap. He's always frightened he's done something to cause my mood poor thing. I reassure him and cuddle him, then he just seems to understand I need comfort and cuddles up next to me or on my lap. Does Woofa read your moods too? I can't imagine a Great Dane could curl up in your lap too easily!

    I just found a book in the library this afternoon called Animal's Companion - People and their Pets, a 26,000-year-old Love Story and it looks marvellous about people and their dogs especially. I'm looking forward to having a read. It was on the display shelf of new books when I walked in - with a lovely dog on the cover how could I resist borrowing it?

    Am really sending good wishes for tomorrow and getting that molar fixed! Pats to Woofa! Let me know tomorrow how you got on won't you. Take care xx

  8. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3219 posts
    21 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3
    Oh and thanks for being kind enough to send the poem Katy it's rather lovely isn't it? And do take care of yourself and let me know how you're going. Is it anything you want to talk about or private? Furry warm hugs from Sam (actually in this weather they're very warm hugs...) xx
  9. Paw Prints
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    22 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hi Hanna,

    I'm back from the dreaded dentist with a numb face & with one less tooth than I went in with. It was so badly broken it needed to come out.

    I don't get why it is so hard for housing to confirm the earlier visit. Surely staff have to fill in reports of where they went & what they saw, plus account for their hours away from the office. Like you I hate having strangers in my home & having them look throughout would send my anxiety into overdrive.

    Woofa does read my moods, but he didn't get the memo about Great Danes not fitting on laps. He likes to back up & sit on my lap. Usually when I'm down he stays close. Though at the moment he is staying close because he is a big scaredy cat. We have very strong northerlies here & he is spooked by them.

    Let me know what you think of the book, it sounds like it could be very interesting.

    My Psych is a fairly new one for me I've only seen her 4 times & I'm still not sure about her. When she was talking of her time away she was talking about ideas she picked up that she felt could be included in her therapy sessions, as well as just how much she enjoyed it.

    I hope you actually get a straight answer from housing. Fingers & paws crossed you have a win.

    Paws

  10. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3219 posts
    22 January 2020 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hi Paws,

    I suspected a broken tooth would have to come out - I've had to have two out and a dental plate made which was beyond awful. Once the numbness wears off did they tell you to take some Panadol or something like that to help? Brave you for going along and getting through it!

    I love the description of Woofa backing up to plonk on your lap! I'm gad he stays close when you're a bit off. Dogs are wonderful companions and I'm sure they know us and our moods backwards...

    Some good news finally here! I rang and asked for a supervisor at Housing this morning and asked what was happening. Well she was really rude and said to me "We can visit you as often as we want to, do you get it? As often as we want to!" (I don't know why I should be spoken to so rudely). However she then put me through to the young woman who did the inspection and she was much nicer and apologized there had been an error and her report had gone through to the wrong place and she's corrected it and no need for the inspection next week and they only do them once a year. Phew. But I'm still upset at the way I was spoken to by the supervisor who hadn't checked what had happened.

    Second bit of good news, I got off the parking fine with a Caution. I think my 47 years of driving without any infringements clinched it. So I don't have to pay the $268 thank heavens. They basically just wrote and told me not to be a naughty girl again...!

    Very hot here, took Sam to the park this morning as it was nice under the shade trees and I had a cup of take away tea while he lay on the grass and had a few rolls in it - then I did some quick grocery shopping and now home for a rather boring hot afternoon. Heatwave looks to worsen and go on for at least two weeks that I can see. Oh help.

    I hope the new Psych turns out to suit you. Meanwhile rest up after an awful dentist appointment (having a tooth out is unpleasant) and take some painkiller once the anaesthetic wears off won't you. Heaps of good wishes from me and Sam to you both there xxx

  11. Katyonthehamsterwheel
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    22 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hi Hanna, wave to Paws :)

    I hope my poem wasn't too depressing. I find it quite lovely. It is a bit of a tease though, when you're so hot there, I see that now haha sorry. I did google looking for a good joke to share, but nothing stood out as funny and I gave up.

    Yes, not very good about the whole Housing issue. Whenever they come through here they have a list they have to tick off, and they take lots of compulsory photos, and it's all logged into the system, so I'm not sure how they couldn't have a record of it. (Well, I imagine it's done similarly there). I'd be annoyed. But sorting anything out with them is such a hassle. I've learnt that over the years!

    Well I spent most of yesterday in bed, just in a low mood. Nothing to talk about. Just residual feelings about what I went through the end of last year, that I haven't completely come to terms with. Thanks for your concern, and the furry warm hugs. It's quite cool here, so warm hugs are fine by me :)

    I also started a new series on SBS on Demand, called Twin. It's a new scandi noir so I'm enjoying it so far. My nephew and brother also popped in for a short visit so that cheered me. Nothing like the sweet innocent joy of children to brighten your mood.

    Well today seems less like a stay in bed mood. Hopefully a bit of housework and repotting some of my million pot plants haha. See how things pan out.

    What's your day look like? Hope you get things sorted with Housing for a bit less stress. Talk later. Katy x

  12. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3219 posts
    22 January 2020 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hi Katy, my reply to Paws hasn't come through yet I'm wondering if I inadvertently went over the word length - I sometimes do that. Sorry you're on a downer and feeling low. Your poem was lovely don't worry I was having a bit of a joke there.

    Just briefly in case my post doesn't come through, Housing is sorted there was a computer error and I got a Caution on the parking fine so don't have to pay. Yay!

    A new Scandi noir sounds wonderful you'll have to tell me how you like it. Take care of yourself today you sound a bit low - do come back later today/tonight and check in and let us know how you are. Hugs from us here xxx

  13. Hanna3
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    3219 posts
    22 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hi again Katy, my reply to Paws (hi Paws!) finally came through so explains what happened with Housing etc.

    I hope you feel better soon it's horrible feeling down.

    Paws I hope that your mouth isn't hurting too much!

    Take care both of you xxx hugs all round from Sam and me

  14. Katyonthehamsterwheel
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    22 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hiya

    Well you have had some good news. Glad you got both sorted. Although I really don't like the way that the supervisor spoke to you, and no, they don't have the right to come through whenever they like! What a power tripper. Disgusting behaviour. Anyway, focus on the positive. No more inspection for some time.

    I'm looking forward to watching the tennis shortly. Roger Federer is playing. He's my favourite. Do you watch the tennis at all? I don't really get into the women's tennis, but I do like the mens. I finished my scandi noir series already too. It was pretty good. Really liked the acting. How's yours going? I'll be looking for something else to watch again now.

    I managed a small amount of housework but haven't walked miss Stormy today. I feel bad, so might take her for a drive and get some fish and chippies for dinner now before the tennis starts.

    Hope your day has gone ok. Sorry to hear it's hot and gross again. Did you look into a portable aircon at all? Hard if money is tight though.

    Hugs back at you both, Katy

  15. Paw Prints
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    22 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hi Hanna, wave to Katy,

    Yay!!! Two wins in one day. Happy Dance!! I love the notion that you've been told not to be naughty.

    I'm glad you & Sam managed sometime in nature before the heat. We had missed out on all the rain over the past week or so, but tonight it is lightly raining.

    The jaw is very achy, so I will take a pain killer soon to give it time to kick in & help with my sleeping. I've been on the couch since I got back & since the wind dropped Woofa has gone off to lie on my bed leaving me here alone. He knows I'm just being sooky, so he's not feeling the need to support me.

    I hope your afternoon wasn't too hot, did you manage to start reading the book you borrowed?

    Paws

  16. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    22 January 2020

    Hi Hanna and everyone else on this forum, I'm Tayla and I'm 20. This is my first time using the forums, so I'm not sure how exactly to use it so please bare with me, my apologies.

    I was reading your original post on this thread, and I wanted to say I'm sorry that you feel so lonely, isolated and you're struggling. I know exactly how you feel. I live in a small regional town, about 4,000 or so people. Kind of a town where everyone knows everyone, except I don't. We've only lived here about 2 years I think. It's peaceful, nice scenery and bird life, but that's all I seem to like really.

    I didn't have any friends or anything like that where I used to live, but it's worse here. Everyone I know is 3-5 hours away and no one wants to visit, and vice versa, so that's quite sad. I'm unable to do anything because nowhere will accept me and I don't know why, so jobs, groups, every single thing. So I know exactly how you feel, I've tried everything so many times. But yes I'm getting professional help.

    For me, I just spend my days going on long walks with my dog, depending on the weather, sometimes I might read or watch a movie (barely, have to be in the mood), colour in or listen to music. Pretty boring I know. Or I'll play a free colour by numbers app on my iPad which is fun because you get rewards for completing certain things on there, and it's quite relaxing and addictive. It's called Happy Colour if you'd like to try it out, it's free and so fun.

    I'm sorry that you're struggling and I really hope things get better for you. I wish I could be your friend and hang out with you, because I know exactly how you feel. I've never felt this lonely and isolated in my life. I really hope you find support here & from professionals if you're seeking help, and you get some friends, I mean that in a nice friendly way of course, from the heart. I hope things improve for you real soon, I truly do. I'm sorry you're dealing with all of this.

    Maybe you could join some groups on Facebook or something if you have it for your interests, so for example a band you like? Yes they can be bad, but they can be good too - talking to people who have the same interests of all ages around the world & you might build a connection with them. Entirely up to you, just suggestions. I hope you feel better soon.

    Love & hugs,

    Tayla xo

    1 person found this helpful
  17. Hanna3
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    3219 posts
    22 January 2020 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hi Paws! I'm glad you've taken something for the pain. Thank goodness that's over for you now.

    Yes the Revenue Dept emailed me the Caution and basically told me to park properly now and obey the road rules please (ie. behave yourself you've been naughty!) I definitely will as that was nearly a costly mistake!

    I started looking at the book on animal companions last night and I wish I could post some of the photographs here, the author goes back through history looking at people and their pets and some of the photographs of little Victorian girls with favourite dogs and even what ancient Roman had written about their beloved pets was fascinating. I wouldn't read it cover to cover but some of it is just delightful.

    Elton John is having a big concert here tonight I think all the neighbours have gone, it's a huge event I think I'm almost the only person in town who hasn't gone... it was fun to see how people had dressed to go, all wearing big coloured glasses and wigs etc - I'm sure they'll all have a great time. Tickets were costly and I didn't know anyone who wanted to go. I would have enjoyed the atmosphere though! I don't know why he chose here..

    Anyway hope that you're less sore tomorrow. Pats to Woofa who clearly knows you're OK now. Dogs are clever! Best wishes! xx

  18. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3219 posts
    22 January 2020 in reply to Missing user

    Hi mb20lover,

    Well first of all welcome to BB! Did you post on the Welcome and Introduction part at all? People will notice you there and respond. Anyhow glad you've found your way here.

    You're very young, may I ask what made you move to the town where you are now? Do you work or study at all? Are you with family or alone?

    I understand how very cliquey and hard to break into some towns can be. As you can see from here, I've moved from a small coastal town to an inland bigger town and am missing where I left. This town is big enough that it probably isn't as cliquey as yours is, but it's still difficult to break in at my age (and I'm much older than you).

    Are there any social/interest groups there you could join? Do you meet any other dog walkers? Basically these are all the questions I've been asked and also looked for in the town I'm in - and in the town where I used to live. Is your town inland or on the coast? I have a theory that inland towns can be harder to break into than coastal towns which seem to be more laid back and used to tourists and people they don't know coming in.

    I had another lady contact me who had moved to a country town and after a year or so moved back she was so lonely and had no friends. Unfortunately she didn't write here again. So it's not just you and me that have this problem that's for sure!

    Meeting friends through work or study seems to be the easiest way but I don't know your situation. Can you let us know a bit more about how you've come to be there and a bit more about yourself? What's your dog's name and what sort of dog is he/she? As you can see we are dog lovers here!

    We just happened to get chatting here. The BB Café is a good place to go, even just join in some of the silly games like movie titles or 5 letter words etc - after a while you get to know a few "regulars" and it becomes nicer.

    Sorry to hear you're going through such a lonely time and yes as you can read, I absolutely know what that is like. It's pretty horrible. So do tell us a bit more about your situation if you'd like so maybe we could help a bit - and do try things like the Café etc. Sometimes it's quiet and other times it's quite busy.

    Great that you've come on to BB and it's a good safe place to reach out for some help and support. Hope to hear back from you soon. Take care meanwhile. Hang in there! Cheers.

  19. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    22 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hi Hanna, thanks for replying. I didn't think anyone would reply. I haven't checked out the Welcome Forum & BB Cafe yet, but I will. I put a post up of my own, nothing bad, just needing some advice, the moderators put that in the suicide and self harm category, not sure why. No ones replied to it yet. No I'm not studying as I don't have the mental capacity, but I've looked into it and other things, plus other reasons. I'm not sure what I'd like to study either, plus it's so expensive. The free courses near me you need qualifications or had to a certain course beforehand and whatnot which i didn't. We moved up here to live in a more peaceful town really. All the groups here I've been told are for people in their 40s which is unfair, I don't know why, so I feel discrimated against. Stuff like sewing, anything. It's unfair, same with other suburbs around. I live in Regional Victoria so I guess that would be inland? Some days I like the scenery, the bird life and how peaceful it is but other days it really gets to me and I can't control it. No I don't see any dog walkers, or any teenagers or people my age. Well I might see the occasional young person but they don't talk to me, which is hurtful, plus I have social anxiety also. As for a job, no I dont have one, but like everything you've suggested and more, I've tried everything, believe me. Asked every shop in person and said I'm willing to learn, but they won't accept me, and once again I don't know why and feel discriminated against. I have a great GP and psychiatrist I'm happy with though, I'm more comfortable with my Psychiatrist though, not sure why. He's just lovely, everything I want in a professional therapist because I've had so many bad experiences with professionals unfortunately. My Dog's name is Buddy, he's a Fox Terrier and 11 years old in human years. He's my best friend. I used to have a pet Cockatiel called Coco but he passed away a few years ago from illness. I miss him so much and my Grandparents, I grieve for all of them everyday without failure and I love them all so much. I also grieve, love and miss my old dog, a Jack Russell called Jack (I was 5 when I named him haha), & a German Shepherd called Lori (a male). I love all animals so much. I don't really have any hobbies, just walking, listening to music, colouring in basically, that's pretty much all. Thanks again for replying, please check out my post and reply if you can. I hope things improve for you, truly. Sorry this is long

    Tayla x

  20. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    23 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hi again Hanna,

    I replied to your comment yesterday as above.

    I hope you're alright, take care xo

    Tayla xx

  21. Hanna3
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    3219 posts
    23 January 2020 in reply to Missing user

    Hi mb20,

    Sorry I've been out today and only just home to respond to your post. I am sorry people in the town seem to be mostly older and not including you. I'm still not sure if you moved there alone or have family/partner/friend with you to give you company?

    Were you happier where you lived before you moved? Any chance of moving back, or moving somewhere else you might be happier?

    In small towns people do tend to choose people they know and not newcomers so I can understand you might very well be being excluded - and that's not a nice feeling. Maybe if they are older they are choosing people closer to their age instead of a young person such as yourself?

    There is a forum for people under 25 here I wonder if that might help you? Of course you are very welcome here but I wondered if the people there, closer to your age, might be able to help you? I am really sorry things aren't working out well for you where you are, and you are missing your dog companions from the past which I do really understand. Our dogs are much loved and important companions and we miss them terribly don't we!

    Do your GP/Psych have any suggestions for you that might help/make you feel less lonely? Are you up to volunteering anywhere, liked an aged care home, just for someone to talk to? I don't know if you're up to this with social anxiety I'm just trying to throw out some ideas for you...

    I'm glad you have a good couple of professional people there to talk to. I'm just wondering if you want to persist living here or try somewhere else? I know that costs money and may be difficult to do and means starting over again in a new place.

    I really hope getting to chat to people here might give you some "friends"- even if we do type instead of talk - and might help you sort out what might be the best options for your future so you can be happier? Great that you can try the BB Café, or join in some of the silly games on the social forum, or start talking to people on the Young People's forum - the more you get to know a few people on BB the more you will feel like you have people to talk to here at least.

    Am happy to chat to you more, again sorry I was not able to reply to you earlier today. Take care and do stick around BB and see how you go.

  22. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    23 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hi Hanna, no worries at all, I've been busy myself lately, had a Doctors appointment today so I understand. I hope things are OK for you.

    I live here with my parents, sorry for not clarifying that, and I don't have any siblings. We moved up here because we wanted a more peaceful town mostly, and yes it is peaceful here. I was about the same before we moved, but I do seem more depressed here, my K10 score has even gone up and I started medication last year in August, and have tried a few so far. But in saying that, I guess that's a good thing because in a way it's being taken care of I guess you could say. I'm unsure about moving back or moving somewhere else, it's quite difficult but my parents and I have looked into it a lot.

    I did see that forum thread for people under 25 and I'll have a look at that later on tonight or when I have the chance, thanks for that. Thanks for your responses, it means a lot and I do appreciate them a lot, believe me. thanks for saying i'm welcome here also.

    My GP and Psychiatrist have given me ideas yes, and I've tried all of those, well all except buying and reading a book called Beating The Blues that my psychiatrist recommended but I'll get onto that, I'm just not a big reader, have to be in the mood. But it could be beneficial so I'll give it a go sometime. Never read a self help book before.

    I'm also doing a free Mindspot course which isn't really helping, but that's just my opinion and yes Mindspot, my parents, GP and Psychiatrist know all of this and everything else, especially my parents and Psychiatrist who I'm most comfortable with, and I'm glad I found my Psychiatrist, I'm so thankful.

    As for volunteering, I did do that in high school at aged care and enjoyed it. However, I've asked everywhere and I mean everywhere here (furniture stores, op shops, aged care, hospitals, everything) if I can volunteer and they always say no, I'm not sure why, same with jobs and studying (plus studying is SO expensive but I've looked into it trust me), which is hurtful. So I've tried everything and I feel hurt, discriminated against and out of options but I'm doing my best with everything as much as I can, believe me.

    Thanks for your suggestions though. I'm not really sure about moving, it's a hard decision. Thanks, I hope you can find some support and friends here too, and I hope I find some myself. It seems good so far and I hope it stays that way. No worries you couldn't reply straight away.

    Thanks again, please take care.

    Tayla xo

  23. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3219 posts
    23 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hi Paws Hi Katy!

    Either of you got any ideas to help with this problem...

    New neighbours moved in at the back of me a little while ago. The two big dogs are Rottweilers I've discovered. They don't seem to be exercised and are kept cooped up on a tiny porch and then let out into the yard backing onto mine late in the day.

    Yesterday I found there is an old hole in the bottom of my fence (don't know if it belongs jointly to Housing and other properties or not) that had been fixed up with bricks so I'd never noticed it. The big dogs have pushed bricks away and now are digging a hole underneath the fence bit enough that yesterday one had his head through it with my silly little mutt Sam egging him on by huffing and puffing at him. Ran inside and got the lead and got Sam away.

    Now I don't dare let Sam out into our backyard. Have to keep him on the lead and go to the front yard Have tried to call out to neighbours who own the dogs at the time and again today but although the door is open and window open nobody answers. Drove past in their street, the place looks all locked up although a car is there. Someone is clearly there feeding the dogs but from inside the house, before they always came outdoors. I know it's a young couple.

    I should speak to them, I would if I could talk to them across the fence outdoors, but I am incredibly anxious about going up to their front door as it's two against one and I don't know if they are nice or nasty. I get very shaky if people are nasty.

    I can ring Maintenance tomorrow and find out if Housing will send someone out to look at a way of securing the fence on this side...

    I've thought of putting a note on their front door about their dogs digging under the fence and being able to reach my dog and now I can't safely have my dog in the yard, and I don't feel safe myself - if these two big dogs dig any deeper they could get through and they are bad news. I thought make it polite, say I'm ringing Housing about the fence but also need them to find a way to stop their dogs digging under it.

    I don't think the ranger will do anything. Spoke to someone today who is having trouble with a neighbour's cattle dog digging under her fence and getting in, she said owner won't do anything and nobody seems to want to help.

    Anyone got any thoughts? Yesterday the dog could easily have got hold of Sammy's snout and could have really injured or killed him, lucky I got there in time. Is leaving a note OK? Or phone ranger?

  24. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3219 posts
    23 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3
    Oh and Paws, I thought of you last night I was reading the book on Animal Companions and it had a photograph of a letter written 500 years ago (couldn't read it) with a dog's paw print over the writing! A 500 year old dog paw print that the dog had put on top of the letter, don't know if the writer dipped it's paw in the ink or it just trod on the letter - but it was perfect for you with your name Paw Prints!
  25. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3219 posts
    23 January 2020 in reply to Missing user

    Hi Mb20,

    How have your parents found the town? Do they have friends there or are they finding it unfriendly too?

    Maybe ask on the forum for younger people if others have suffered the sort of discrimination you are when you try to volunteer and see if anyone has any ideas. I'm not sure if it's because they don't know you and are cliquey, or because you are young, or what. Wish I could be more help. Glad to see you staying on BB it will help just get used to getting around the site, it takes a little while. Take care.

  26. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    23 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Thanks Hanna.

    Yeah they like it some days and find it unfriendly mostly too, like I do. Long story why we moved here and why we can't just move straight away also.

    But I understand your point. I'll check out forums for younger people like the one you recommended.

    Thanks,

    Tayla

  27. Katyonthehamsterwheel
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Katyonthehamsterwheel avatar
    1568 posts
    23 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hi Hanna

    That's a bit of a yukky situation. I don't like having to deal with things like that either. I had a somewhat similar situation with my neighbour and their dog, only mine was the bigger one and theirs the huffy puffy one lol. There was a gap in our fence and every time my dog would be happily playing outside, their dog would stick it's snout through the fence and yap annoyingly. My dog got sick of listening to it one day and went and bit it on the snout! The neighbours fixed that gap in the fence pretty quick. I only felt a little bad as it wasn't really my fault. The yapping didn't stop though and I got sick of listening to it. I left a polite note in the letterbox and they were good and sorted their dog out, which I really appreciated. But you're right it does really depend on the person. I don't like confrontation so I wouldn't go knocking just in case, but you never know what will happen with a note either. It's a hard one. Do you know if they are public housing tenants or private? If they are public housing, you might be able to get it sorted out that way, by contacting them.

    In the meantime, I wonder if you have something that you can put there as a barrier, so that you and Sam can feel safe in your yard until you get it properly sorted? Sorry I don't have more ideas for you. You're having a run of not good things happening, but I'm hopeful it gets sorted out like the last two things did. Fingers crossed.

  28. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3219 posts
    23 January 2020 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hi Katy,

    It's an old house that was recently "done up" by someone so either it's a private rental or they're friends of whoever fixed it up. It's not public housing.

    The dogs are truly scary. I don't have the ability to put up anything strong enough to stop them coming through, they are the size of Shetland ponies and there's two of them. I'll phone Maintenance tomorrow and I think phone the ranger and ask for advice... Sam definitely isn't safe out there and I don't feel safe either.

    Your story was rather funny! These dogs are massive and it's really scary... thanks anyway. Cheers.

  29. Paw Prints
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Paw Prints avatar
    1650 posts
    23 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hi Hanna,

    I think it's sensible to keep Sam restricted til the fence is fixed. Rotti's are hunting dogs by nature, so unless they've been well trained & socialised I would be very wary of them. If properly raised they can be big softies.

    The owners may not realise their dogs are digging through to yours, a polite note letting then know shouldn't ruffle any feathers.

    I know in Vic that dogs must be kept secure on their property or the ranger will issue an order to secure the property, also if the dogs make someone feel unsafe the owners risk having their dogs declared dangerous with all the attached restrictions. I guess other states have something similiar.

    I really hope this can be sorted quickly for you.

    Take care

    Paws

  30. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3219 posts
    24 January 2020 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hi Paws,

    Thanks for that. I'm a bit worried about contacting the Ranger as I've realised I haven't had my dog's registration changed over to this address yet so I'm anxious they might realise. I've only just thought about it.

    I don't see these dogs exercised at all, they seem to be cooped up most of the day on the tiny porch, hence the barking and aggression I'd say.

    Am feeling overwhelmed by everything this morning - had a notice from the library that I have to pay almost $25 for a book I have returned damaged and I've never damaged a book in my life, I have lots of them and I always keep them beautifully, I'm really fussy about books - so now I have to go to the library, for the life of me I can't see how it was damaged, it was fine when I returned it a few days ago. I never damage books, even dog eared corners drive me nuts! I am wondering what else can go wrong here in this place!

    I really feel just like retreating and I don't even want to keep going to the choir next week when it starts up, I don't like performing, really I'm tired of singing. I'm thinking I'll just have to think living here is for the time being but not permanent, I'll find a way out somehow, and meanwhile just get through the awful summer heat then in autumn just take Sam for walks, read, go once a month to the book club, live really quietly and just kind of hunker down as it's all become overwhelming. I don't know what to do about fixing the fence.

    I'll try writing a note and putting in the letterbox or under the front door of the owners of the dogs. I'll just make it brief and polite.

    Think it's all got to me Paws - the library book and the scary dogs have just finally done me in, after the parking problem and the Housing inspection stuff. I feel like curling up in a corner and just never going outside again! Oh dear. Thanks for your reply which really helped. xx

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