hi Moon, all our casks or bottles we have tucked away, hidden where nobody can see them nor know that they are there, a drinkers dream isn't it, knowing that when we want to drink, off we go to our hiding spot and scull as much as we can before anybody notices where we have gone, until eventually the grog takes control of us and it shows that we have had a drink, so people ask us 'where do you hide it', or 'where is it', and as much as you confess that you haven't had a drink, the secret is out because they can tell from the way we behave and smell of alcohol even though we try and eat as many lollies as we can hoping that it will disguise the smell of grog, but it's a dead giveaway, so all the turmoil once again begins and back to square one.
You promise that it won't happen again, but your trust has been lost, so they don't believe you.
Yes just one drink would make you feel better only until the effect wears off, but there is nothing left in the bottle any more so then what can you do, run out to buy another bottle or sit down and have a think that there will more problems that will arise now and in the future, so do I want to always have alcohol around to numb that feeling of being sad or can I reach out to people who are able to support me so that you won't drink.
What happened to you was last night so I don't know whether or not you succumbed back to the Baileys, if you did then please don't worry, it's one step forward and you may fall back two steps, that's always how it is when trying to overcome an addiction, we know that this may happen, but you can't be upset by doing so, because as soon as you do, then we have to get you back to where you were, in other words overcome these 2 backward steps and bring you back to where you have been. Geoff. x