Hi Elizabeth and everyone ☺I thought I tagged here a while ago must have dreamt it.

Same as Annie hi darl ☺ I saw at another thread you're doing it hard atm. I've meant to support you for a long time. Here now.

Always enjoy reading your posts I think you're a great contributor here.

I can't do much chat atm but will be back later (bbl)

Cyaz

I don't have time to write separate posts to each of you but I thank you all for your thoughts. Shell I copied your list so I can refer to it when I need ideas to help. My mind is too frazzled to remember it all. I really appreciated the time you took to write all the different things which help you. Don't know any pet shops to watch fish so I'll have to think of an equivalent thing.

Annie Maybe tomorrow I could ask my son if he could transfer the important docs onto my old computer. He looked up some options of laptops for me. My head is still reeling trying to understand the differences. Hopefully he will help me tomorrow to make a decision so I can order one. I'm not confident with computers so rely on my son for advice.

Doolhoff & Cyaz Thanks for thinking of me & encouraging me.

I feel like I need a complete break but can't see anyway of getting one . Any attempt to have a break seems to just put more pressure on me.

Take a mini break when you go to the toilet. It may sound weird. But you can do deep breathing in there, look at calming pictures on the back of the door even. Just find mini pockets of time that you naturally have to yourself.

Hi Elizabeth and everyone ☺

I haven't read much yet darl and aim to get here soon lovey.

This is true you've often been in my thoughts.

I hope todays giving you even a little more peace.

Good on you about breathing Shells that's what I was going to suggest too. Excellent idea about in the toilet.

Grandy taught me from research saying relax to yourself mentally on exhale is proven to help. Also pysch said recently breathe good in and let bead stuff out on exhale. I'd played around before with that there's some sense to it I feel letting the rubbish out.

Nice deep breathes hun slow and calm in through the nose out through the mouth and feel your shoulders and neck relax when you say it breathing out.

I really am sorry for your hard situation and that you're doing it hard at the moment (atm).

I guess your sleeps up the whoop?

No hurry for reply.

Sorry that hapoened recently and these days I like most of the new names, what I was saying texting style was see yaz ☺ no probs just saying to avoid confusion

If you're a hugger heres a good long one with a lot of warmth and care, if not I'll send it via cyber mail ☺

See yaz all later. Sleep well

Shells finally I've been walking a bit more got some lovelies to tell youse all about on your walking thread when eventually I get back ☺ hope you're doing well hun.

🕊

🌴

Sorry a bit 🙃 atm

Bad not bead on breathing out.

See yaz I wrote cyaz meaning same thing.

Catch yaz later

Sorry I attempted to reply a few times but unsure what happened to the posts. I had trouble with y computer & when my son replaced the broken part after waiting some time for delivery as it wasn't available in Aus my keyboard wouldn't work properly. Ended up buying another!!! This on top of lots of appointments (up to 4 in a day) and some days with very long appointments which were draining meant I had little time to post. I'm OS visiting our son ATM. Trying to prepare for the trip was stressful because of the high risk of my husband getting very ill if he caught any minor infection.We had a lot of discussion with health professionals to come up with plans to decrease the risk of illness & to keep him alive in the event of something going wrong like it did in the hospital. Having to constantly think about the worst case scenarios has really escalated my stress levels making it harder for me to concentrate & get things done. Sleep Has also been badly affected making me tired. My kitchen is still in limbowaiting for the insurance company to read the results of the tests for mould to see if it has been eradicated inside & if the cupbords benches etc can be reused or if they are mould damaged.The cupboards benches sink etc are sitting on the back decking.

Atleast while OS I can have a break from the insurance drama.Hopefully I'll get to a point were I can relax & get enough sleep to function better

Dear Elizabeth~

I can well imagine the preparations you had to go though and the contingencies you had to foresee - and take measures to forestall.

I hope for a brief while you can share the load with your son and at least get some rest.

Croix

Thanks Croix, Demonblaster & Shell for your caring remarks. Sorry about not answering but I'm sure I tried but something went wrong so posts didn't work. Currently struggling with jetlag & after effects of long period of poor sleep & high stress. Still trying to sort out in my mind what needs to be done. There were some things that I couldn't do before we left so need to deal with them now but I'm too tired. I am trying to remind myself of the positives eg My oldest son can deal with the insurance while I'm gone, I don't have to drive anywhere while staying with my youngest son for these 10 days & hopefully my daughter can help after I meet her later to do some sightseeing & walking. It requires effort to think this way as I;ve fallen into a pattern of very negative thinking

Hi Elizabeth,

hose negative thoughts can be very persistyenet can't they. I am slowly learning how to deal with some of them. I try to acknowledge them, accept them and then try to leave them so they don't grow into huge mountains of worry and distress.

Easier said than done at times.

I have found having two journals is helping me. In one I write all the horrible and negative stuff and in the other I write the helpful and the positive. I try to be creative in the positive journal. When I don't know what to write, I look for positive sayings or affirmations on the internet and add them.

Hopefully yo will find some distractions to help take your mind off things as well.

When I am out now, I like to take photos of different or unusual things on my phone. Helps me focus on something different.

It can be hard to let go, but so very beneficial when we are able to do so. Of course I do realise I don't have the issues you are experiencing.

Cheers from Dools

Thanks Dools for your care & understanding. You said I do realise I don't have the issues you are experiencing. I find people like you much more understanding than those who think they know everything. We both have different issues which affect us in different ways. I certainly wouldn't want to be in your situation because you have so many challenges but your experiences seem to give you real empathy for others including myself. I hope you are doing OK.

Hi Elizabeth,

Thank you for your very kind words. I do experience depression and other mental health issues. I realise that everyone experiences these illnesses differently, depending on their own personality and life experiences.

Recently I was talking to a Minister of Religion who stated he has assisted many people suffering from suicidal ideation, but has never experienced it himself. He said he has some understanding of the situation, but not how it actually feels in another person's mind.

Empathy is something I try to show people, along with acknowledging their struggles. Everyone's issues are issues! Hopefully we can help each other to either listen or offer suggestions that may help.

Sometimes we just don't have the answers!

For me, finding a sense of hope helps, even if it is sometimes miniscule.

Cheers to you from Dools

Sorry I have not replied Dools. I was overseas for 5 weeks visiting my son & family & my daughter. Since arriving back I've been struggling to catch up on things & feeling jetlagged. My husband & I have come down with colds so I haven't felt very well.

I enjoyed the time away & saw some lovely things. Really enjoyed time with my children. Towards the end I was tired of driving around. We spent time driving to a few places with my daughter & on our own but although I enjoy travelling the stress of constantly packing/unpacking, driving, helping orient my husband to new places since he can't see builds up leaving me tired. Unfortunately our grandaughter as very sick at the end of the trip so the last few days with our son were far from relaxing because my grandaughter spent so much time screaming particularly at night as her parents tried to administer the medication she required. This kept everyone awake.

We arrived home to cold wet miserable weather. There are still problems with our kitchen so we are back in temporary accommodation. My son who lives nearby tried to hurry things along while we were gone but was unsuccessful. We have the NDIS review coming up next week to add an extra stress.

Last week I saw my psychiatrist who recommended me seeing someone else for EDMR & exposure therapy fot PTSD. I'm feeling overwhelmed with so many things going on & struggling to see how to deal with it all.

Hi Elizabeth

You have been incredibly busy. I would be feeling the same after being overseas for 5 weeks...

I hope you have had some time to find 'your feet' so to speak when you came back home. I have a good psychiatrist...I have never heard of EDMR before...yet your specialist would know a great deal more than I do

Just sending you my kind wishes Elizabeth

You are spot on as usual....as in coming back to cold miserable weather.....brrrr....I hear you!

Paul

Hi Elizabeth,

Like Paul mentioned, you have a lot going on! I've not been on the forums much lately thanks to my own mental health issues!

Hopefully you can try and tackle one issue at a time Elizabeth. I know I would be overwhelmed looking at everything that is going on for you and trying to deal with it all at once.

Is there something you like about the temporary home you are currently in?

Did you take some photos while you were away? I have started to take photos on my mobile phone to help me capture nature, something unexpected, a different perspective or to make me feel better about my day.

Driving home for a specialist appointment yesterday I decided to take the scenic route and saw some kangaroos amongst a vineyard. They looked stunning against the bright green grass growing between the vines.

This was right on a large bend in the road so not a safe place to stop for a photo.

Hope you manage to find some peace in all that is happening Elizabeth.

Cheers to you from Dools

Thanks Paul, EDMR is mainly used for PTSD rather than other MH issues. As for finding my feet I'm still trying to work through the long list of essential tasks since coming home from OS. Dealing with the house/insurance issues has been essential. We have the NDIS review next week so trying to prepare for that can't be put off. This has also involved catching up with health professionals to ensure we have all the information & reports we need. A lot of things we tried to do before the trip were left till now due to lack of time & other issues. I am trying to make time to list the other essential things which I don't have time to do now. I worry if I don't have it at least written I will forget with possible long term consequences.

My husband & I have come down with a cold so that is making it harder for me todeal with all the current stressses.

Dools. I'm sorry you haven't been well. I hope things start to improve. You asked if there was anything I liked about my temporary home. That was a useful question because it reminded me about the importance of thinking of the positives to keep things in perspective.

Positives are:

• It is close to our home so relatively easy to get to appointments, shops & to the house to pick up things or let trades people in
• There are a number of places we can walk from here including some nice parks when the weather is suitable
• My son lives fairly close so we can catch up with him & the grandkids
• The manager is very nice.She is sympathetic to our difficulties so kept the apartment for us even when the insurance company have not let her know when we needed the stay extended.
• The apartment has nice comfortable furniture & most of the essentials. (I try to think of this when really missing the sunlight & views of the garden that we miss here.)

I did take a lot of photos but haven't had the time to go through them because of lack of time.

I am struggling this week. I'm still not well physically. GP is concerned about the risk of me passing it onto my husband This concern really worrys me particularly after the his last stint in hospital where he almost died a couple of times from what started as a mild illness. Still in temporary accommodation. & trying to deal with insurance The NDIS review on Monday meant lots of stress leading up to it & left me even more stressed with a number of issues to be addressed. . I feel very tense with frequent headaches & other signs of anxiety. Every way I turn feels like more things to do or plan or organise but my mind is not working properly. I'mnot sure where to turn to get on top of things to regain some control

Elizabeth,

I am sorry to hear you are not well and are struggling.

I realise you are stressed and have so much to do.

Do you have any people who can support you even for a short time?

Would it help to make a list in order of importance.? I realise everything you have to do is important but making a list sometimes helps.

I hope your health improves.

Quirky

Thanks Quirky, I feel a little better but still coughing a lot & blocked up. A few times over the last few weeks I think I'm improving only to go downhill a short time later.

I usually rely heavily on writing lists to keep on top of things. Over the last few weeks I've tried to keep track by writing lists of what needs doing & prioritizing things. Unfortunately I don't seem to be getting through my list because so many new things seem to come up each day. This gets very frustrating. I then get more stressed when my husband asks me to do something about other things which I agree need doing but I'vehad so much to deal with all day I just can't face anything else.

I seem to be recovering from the respiratory infection finally but feeling very angry, stressed & down. I've had so much on my plate & things keep going wrong. Last night my husband kept insisting we needed to do more re the insurance claim. I'd already spent ages on the phone trying to get some answers without much success but now my husband insists we need to do even more. I became so angry when he refused to consider my concerns I told him he could arrange it all himself. but then he insisted he needed me to help!!!! He won't/can' make a phonecall on his own. I ended up unable to sleep last night Today I've been really tired & wound up. I went to the house to do some weeding but now feel really sore as well as tired & stressed

Just letting you know Elizabeth that I am listening to you. You are heard by me.

Shell

Thanks Shell,

Still struggling. I was told to practice breathing techniques to manage anxiety but that seems to be making me more anxious as I'm not doing it properly. Too many things on my plate. Don't know what to do

Hi Elizabeth

When I’m super stressed and try to do breathing exercises I find myself focusing on the breath not in a good way! And then it can make it worse - like I can’t get a decent breath when I’m fact I’m over breathing.

Maybe something else to distract you now would be better. Do you ever listen to anything on YouTube or - I find the Headspace app helpful. They have a meditation called Panicking and it’s only 3 mins - perfect for a quick reset. (I’ll sometimes do it over and over)

Or (I know this sounds simple and/or you maybe already do it) write a list and cross things off. It helps me to see I have gotten some things done and not necessarily the big hard things but like ‘get washing in’, knit 3 rows, check mailbox.

Hi Elizabeth and All reading,

I think there are many different types of breathing exercises.

I was trying one yesterday while out in the garden. I discovered I couldn't pull weeds and concentrate on the breathing at the same time! Maybe that is the whole point of the exercise! Only do one thing.

The technique I was trying was breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for two seconds then breathe out for 6 seconds.

When I tried it again this morning just sitting in a chair with nothing else to do it worked a lot better! When I messed up I just started again.

Hope you do find some help with these breathing skills Elizabeth.

Cheers from Dools

hanks Dools & Annie,

I'm glad I'm not the only only one struggling to do the breathing. Sometimes I feel stupid for not succeeding. Dools Your method is the one I was told to practice. I guess I need to practice more when I'm not stressed so I've got more chance of using it when I really need it. I feel there is so much to do that I just can't cope & then can't do even simple things, The really important & urgent things are just too overwhelming but I need to do them but I don't know how to get help. Then my husband keeps asking for things or needing help & I feel guilty for not being able to help him properly.

Things continue to go wrong. I don't know how to change things. Everything I try seems to fail. My mood fluctuates from flat with no motivation which leads to feeling guilty & overwhelmed because I'm getting nowhere with the urgent things needing doing, then high levels of anxiety causing headaches & sleep problems & sore jaw from clenching it with outbursts of anger when things go really wrong. I no longer have anything to look forward to. I started seeing a new therapist for exposure therapy for PTSD but he has decided I'm not able to cope with the therapy so it needs to be really slow avoiding the real issues leaving me feeling like a total failure. I can't see any point in continueing. My son has taken over managing the insurance issues because I can't cope I don't know where to turn when I become totally overwhelmed & out of control which is becoming very frequent.

Hi Elizabeth

Just my opinion but I don’t think any of us are failures. One foot in front of the other and things will get done at their own pace.

I think it’s great your son has taken over the insurance issue. Let him push that along while you focus on other things. Maybe try the new therapist a bit longer or go back to your gp and let them know it’s not what you were expecting / wanting.

Mans is there something you can think of, just for yourself, to bring some fun into your week? So that you do have something to look forward to - what are some of your interests?

All my life I've been very goal directed. Even as a young child I couldn't wait to go to school & I remember coming home each night & practicing my reading desperate to get it right so I could get onto the next level. As a teenager my parents sent me to the cinema trying to force me to have a break. I made an excuse for not staying!!! The current issues leave me feeling out of control. This lack of control seems to trigger my PTSD bringing out all the related negative feelings of guilt, failure, uselessness Attempts to push through (my normal mode of operation is to push through regardless until I hit the wall) seem to get stopped by competing issues so I don't get the chance to finish anything & feel good about it.

Hi Elizabeth, I know having goals can be a good thing. Just wondering is there anything else in your life that brings you a similar satisfaction and for you to feel good about. Or maybe you just need to lower this invisible bar you seem to have set for yourself? Or perhaps I am on the wrong track here. Wish I could help you feel better somehow Elizabeth.

Thanks Shell,

The problem isn't that I'm trying to achieve unrealistic or unreasonable goals at the moment. I have a lot of competing demands on my time so I end up feeling overwhelmed. Last week I made several attempts to try to prioritize the most urgent so I could get them done. An example of an urgent important thing is sorting out, typing & printing my husband's physio exercises. The aim is to make it easy for me to help him with his exercises & set it up so carers can also help him do these exercises taking some pressure off me. When we don't do the exercises his condition deteriorates & it is harder or impossible to regain his previous level of function. Unfortunately every time I started working on these tasks I would get another phone call or other interruption. Because most of these interruptions increased my stress levels I couldn't focus on the task even after the interruption.

Ah I see. You need to be some kind of octopus. Just trying to bring a bit of "happy" to you there in amongst the stress and stuff.

I know your son is looking into the insurance stuff, but is there anyone else in your life that you could delegate other issues to at all? Maybe you have ready thought of that.

Anyway I care and I am listening to you