I have set some goals with my psych to push myself to do some things which I've been avoiding for a long time (years) This is triggering quite a bit of anxiety but I need to push myself so I can experience some successas constantly avoiding things even unintentionally has made things worse.

I planned to camp in the bush this Friday for 3 days with my husband. I haven't camped in the summer for 15 years since having to return home from a camping trip due to fires in the area. I chose this time because the weather is predicted to be cool so I should be safe. Unfortunately knowing it should be safedoesn't stop the fear.

Just to complicate things my husband saw the GP today & is on both anti viral & antibiotics for 2 separate infections. this may stop us going.

Today has been hot and I've struggled to cope at all.

Hi Elizabeth good seeing you I've been wondering how you're going and then the other day here you are ☺

Fantastic setting goals. I feel relief knowing a lot of people suffer the same drawbacks. Although that has a morbid tone to it 😆 comforting knowing we're not alone in our MH stops. It's so hard doing isn't it but when we do theres a great accomplishment to enjoy.

I think still be proud of yourself because either way you got it organised to go camping. You're pushing through fear as well.

Poor hubby doesn't sound that he's in a good way. Hope the biotics help.

Hope your days are having some bright spots in them.

I'm not a lover of heat either. Online dah having trouble what they're called..could be cobbers but they go around your neck and some reaction with the thingys in it cools us down. I've heard good reports about them. Dont know now but they were $25.

Leaving a pretty Rose on a gorgeous multi coloured vase.

Just feed it with happy comments and memories and watch it flourish.

Have a good day Elizabeth ☺

⚘

Thank you DB for the virtual flowers & the lovely supportive comments.

Went back to GP & hubby was improving. Antibiotics fixed the infection in foot thank goodness. The viral infection turned out to be a misdiagnosis so that is OK. Hubby decided after seeing the GP & then trying on shoes he could tolerate them so he wanted to go camping. Deciding so late made it a rush for me to pack. We couldn't put the trip off a few days because of other appointments.

I didn't prepare as well as I needed and then the weather turned cold & wet so didn't feel like camping in summer. Trouble is hubby can't cope with cold so we only stayed one night. Didn't really give me the chance to achieve what I wanted.

I'm struggling with feeling really tired & depressed. Over the last few days my husband has been really tired & displaying some of the really bad symptoms of his condition. This is increasing my level of anxiety.

Hi DB Yes unsure when we can try camping again. it is difficult fitting in between appointments & weather considerations and when hubby is well enough. We are in the process of getting various tests (which can be invasive) so the surgeon can decide if it is safe & worthwhile operating on my husband. We went through this process several years ago only to be advised against surgery. Now we are back because the risks of managing as we are are very high so it makes the risks of surgery more worth taking but the process is very stressful. It is hard seeing him choking & coughing & wondering if he will end up seriously ill in hospital as a result. Cold weather & even minor illness or feeling tired makes him very susceptible to these complications. At the same time he wants to live as normal a life as possible when he is well.

I haven't done as much walking as I was I feel like I'm pulled in all directions and I am so tired most of the time.

I hope you are doing OK.

Saw my psych today. I need to write a list of ideas to do when it is really hot and try doing them even if just to take my mind off the fact it is outside.

Elizabeth

just wanted to say hello . I read this thread but don’t often post. I like the way that you keep going despite obstacles. Your posts are so honest and informative. You give an insight to how people are trying to cope and what challenges you face.

Writing a list of ideas on what to do on a hot day sounds like a good idea.

Thank you Quirky

I am feeling very stressed. My husband went in yesterday for a test which was very intrusive & confronting to see him struggling to cope with it. The nurse doing the test was fine. It was just the nature of the test that was hard. After that test a thinner tube was passed down his throat and remains there for 24 hrs. It is attached to a machine which records what is happening in his oesophagus. We have to record the time and nature of any symptoms, when & what he eats, when he lies down or gets up. Because he is blind I have to do the recording & remind him which button to press. Times need to be exact to the second but that is impossible because it takes time for him to tell me what is happening & for me to go over and read the time. I have noticed he has pressed the wrong button at times because he can't see and he isn't thinking & reacting normally because of the effects of the first test. I know I can only do my best but I'm concerned that the results won't be accurate enough to give the surgeon a good picture of what is happening which may impact on the decision whether to operate or not. Having to be close to him constantly is also difficult as I'm constantly alert even in bed.

I know noone can fix the problem. I'm just venting!!!!

Elizabeth and all hi

Wow you poor people going through such hard times it's not surprising your anxiety is so high. I feel so sorry for you.

If you'd like to google "Marconi Union" who in collaboration with music therapy can't think if experts but high in their field. The song is called " Weightless" it's or was voted the best music for anxiety.
It not only helps reduce Blood pressure pulse and anxiety by a high % around 65% Maybe more. (Cloudy head). I'd love you to get help with your anxiety Elizabeth.
Hopefully you have some coping skills.

Wondering in that near impossible situation for your poor hubby and you getting that all precise geez big ask tho great they have the machines it sounds incredibly hard to get accuracy. Just thinking with luck could a nurse or someone do a nightshift and help with recording episodes.

I wonder too if there'd be somewhere maybe like a sleep clinic or ? where people are monitored throughout the night to do what needs to be done.

Shame not being able to walk because of being so tired. It's really hard to do things when we're feeling that way.

In the past on a particular terribly dark down and in extreme exhaustion I went from the chair to the spare room for something.
That tiny effort and wow it was that it not only distracted me temporarily from the mental torture because we look around as we move it also bought on some much needed energy.
Since I heard here which came from I think it was Dr Kim on a thread that surprisingly in extreme tiredness movement does in fact promote energy. I can back that.
It was only a few metres but gave me good temporary benefits.

Maybe that could help you lovey. A little squiz outside, slow walk around the house or 2/3 minutes outside to the fence gate or somewhere. Doesn't have to be far. Good ole babysteps.

Hold in there dear lady and hubby. Such hard times. It's so unfair.

Apologies for such a long time replying. I started this but have been struggling tho with many light moments too with poor Physical and mental health.

Always hoping for better times good lady.

⚘

Thanks for your reply. Sorry I've taken so long to answer. I went away for a short holiday to get a break. It started well with lovely time with my daughter and her family. I was nice to spend time with grandsons & see them really enjoying themselves. unfortunately the break turned into a literal one after I slipped on a rock & broke my wrist. I now feel really restricted.

Oh Elizabeth...I am sorry that you broke your wrist...I hope it heals okay.....are you in plaster..the plaster can get heavy over time...please lovely lady...maybe a sling at times to hold it up and rest your shoulder muscles....

Sounds like you had a great time with your grandchildren and daughter before you slipped...

Sending you some healing vibes and best wishes to heal quickly...

Kind thoughts ..

Grandy..

i'm struggling with constant discomfort /pain fatigue due to not sleeping properly and frustration at not being able to do things which are normally easy. One son had arranged to come tomorrow with his kids to do some jobs i needed dong. Now with lockdown he can't come. I have had my husband's support workers help with some meal prep but they won't come on the weekend. My mood is not good. This has not been helped by difficulties with GP. I have seen 3 different doctors in less than a week trying to get my cast changed because it wasn't supporting the wrist and was causing more problems than the fracture itself. After the last Gp visit I ended up going to emergency where I finally got a new cast and referral to a specialist which is what I asked for at the start. I have developed other physical problems with my arm due to the refusal of the doctors to treat me properly. I am struggling to think straight due to the pain & tiredness.

I feel stupid as I burst into tears all the time.

i

i

Hi Elizabeth ⚘ and our lovely friends 👋

I really hope you've managed some decent sleep.
The body incredibly can take a fairly long time before as my GP once said then it has to give in.
Trouble from my experience that's when we hit exhaustion although then we start getting sleep which we so badly need.
It has a downward effect on our ability to cope and mood which changes when we get more sleep.

Poor lady you're having such a hard time.
I'm so glad before your ouch fracture you had some beautiful times with family and watching the Grandies would be priceless.
Use these memories as often as you can dear Elizabeth. The happiness you experienced remains.
That can give you a desparately needed good mind rest hun.

I wonder could hubbys support workers make or prepare to cover week ends food darl.

Geez sounds like quite an ordeal with gp's not at all good but eventually you got there lady good job.

I feel sorry you go through so much.
In time that as we know travels fast you'll be looking back on this and you will have gotten through. It's now tho isn't it.

You're strong enough to cope dear lady which is heavily clouded lately more so by a run of particularly hard circumstances.

We're with you Elizabeth standing by you with deep care and friendship 🤗 if you're ok with hugs lovely.

⚘... for a pleasant mind break if you feel up to hun how bout just looking at your beautiful Rose...

• Colour

• Shape

• Perfume

• How many petals
• Texture
• Water to grow it
• Sunlight helps it grow

• How quickly it grows

• What other colours they come in

• Picture a few in a vase hun 🙄

• How does the vase look
  
  🤝

Thanks Shell & DB I am finding it is hard typing with one hand particularly capitals so I am not typing much. Your questions about the rose reminded me of the experience I had on my short walk. I don't feel able to walk too far and have to stick to easy paths as I can't afford to trip over. I tire quickly. Since I can't do anything really exciting I stopped outside one house which had plants for sale outside with an honesty box. I spent time looking at the plants and admiring the way the person had put them in interesting old containers. Many were common plants but looked lovely in old cups or teapots etc. Spending a few minutes looking and admiring them took my mind off things. Later I rubbed my fingers on a plant overflowing through the fence and then smelt it.

Your rose questions reminded me of the importance of stopping and really looking or smelling or feeling what is around rather than a quick glance as you pass.

Meanwhile I am ok but still over react to minor things Bad nights sleep has left me feeling down. Lockdown makes it harder because noone can visit unless they are actually caring for us but I really need the more friendly visit to take my mind off things

Elizabeth

it seems unfair that you have to cope with so much while in pain.
Can you rest and have me time at all ?

Dear Elizabeth hi and to all ☺

Dear lady you have so much on your plate.

It's difficult having a part of our bod not working I don't at all blame you feeling frustrated. Not sleeping on top of that really adds to tension. Hopefully your wrist will heal sooner than later.

I know how it is to not feel any pleasure from things it's awful. I feel for you darl.

My doctor said once the body can only go without enough sleep for a certain amount of time then we do get better sleep. I'm hopeful when you get better quality rest you'll find your bad feelings will ease off in time too.

Wish I could help in some way but know I care and always listening good lady.

Is there some nice gentle music that might help sooth you a little hun.

Leaving some beautiful pretty scented frangapani petals in a pretty crystal bowl. The scent permeates the air it's lovely.

Be gentle with yourself lovey.

⚘

Sorry my posts have not been regular as I'm struggling.

My fracture has healed but I was left with ongoing issues with my hand and thumb in particular. Result multiple appointments tests etc & a rollercoaster. I thought after last week seeing a hand therapist I had a plan to work towards with regular exercises ( every 2-3 hrs) so full on but worth it if I improved. I saw a new GP who prescribed meds to assist with sleep & pain. These worked initially but then side effects escalated as it built up in my body. Result painful numb mouth & inability to function or think straight so had to stop meds. Then prescribed something else which can only be taken for short time due to risks associated.

Today saw specialist to get results of a test I had so now know what the problem is. Then back to hand therapist & stuck in splint for 4 weeks to rest thumb totally in hope issue will resolve. Otherwise need surgery. I still have to care for my husband so really upset and depressed. I'm overwhelmed trying to cope with my current limitations & having that extended is the last straw. I have nothing left to look forward to I want to give up.

Thanks DB for your caring reply.

I seem to be unable to get out of this low mood. I have nowhere to turn. My son is away My daughter too busy. My brother is busy with his own problems and I feel I will never see my sister or my youngest 2 children again since they live overseas and there is no chance of borders opening now vaccines rollout has been stopped here. I have nothing left to live for. any attempt to change just fails. 

Elizabeth, I can understand you feel so tired and you can’t budge your low mood.

You don’t feel string but you have dealt with hard times in your life.

sending a hug and kind thoughts.

Thanks Quirky & Sophia.

Sorry I'm not up to typing much. Feeling really drained and hopeless. I can't see any point of trying any more. Nothing helps since most things which help are too difficult. I can't ring anone as I'll make things worse by saying the wrong things

You are struggling so much Elizabeth with everything. My heart aches for you. Are you able to hold onto anything that brings you hope, comfort and any sense of happiness. Even if it is just a small bit.

I know it is a challenge when we are wearing the dark glasses. That is how I describe it when things look... well not real good.

I am unsure whether this will help. But can you slowly look at all the photos you have taken of beautiful mountains and views on your hikes, your children when they were little, your cute little grandchildren doing simple things and smiling like little ones do?

Can you look at old wedding photos of you and your husband and remember the feelings and happy emotions you may have felt.

Can you look at a flower? Any will do. And notice, really study the petals. Does it look like someone painted the petals? Does the flower have a scent? Does it feel soft at all?

It may sound weird to actually try to notice beauty around you. And it may sound almost impossible as other circumstances, emotions and physical pain can speak so very loud sometimes. Fading out all that is good in our lives. But I assure you Elizabeth it is all there. The good is there.

You have so many happy adventurous memories with your children when you guys when hiking and such. Beautiful and special ones.

I care Elizabeth. Wish I could ease things for you. I will just leave some beautiful flowers for you here.