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Forums / Long term support over the journey / Getting to know you...or is that me?

Topic: Getting to know you...or is that me?

  1. Just Sara
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    5 September 2018 in reply to demonblaster

    Hi everyone;

    Thanks for all your well wishes. :-)

    Just letting you know I'm ok and so is my sis. She's taken a bit of a beating, but is here to tell the story. Big wake up call for those who think being everything to everybody's a worthy endeavour. Being 'Super Woman' is something many struggle with.

    Anyway, she's staying with someone who's making her take it easy and looking after her; a new concept in her life.

    I've been very busy with (and enjoying) long distance family who've come to support her. Just finding time to answer a post or two.

    Better go...

    Love ya's..

    Sez xoxo

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  2. startingnew
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    5 September 2018 in reply to Just Sara

    Hi Lovely

    Thank you for the update, im glad both you and sis are ok and are enjoying the company of some relatives.

    Hugs and much love xoxoxoxox

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  3. Peppermintbach
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    6 September 2018 in reply to Just Sara

    Hi beautiful Sez,

    I’m relieved you and your sister are both okay. Thank you so much for the update...

    I think it’s a nice (and much needed ) change for her to be looked after/supported rather than her looking after everyone else.

    I’m also glad that you’re spending quality time with long distance family :) It must be so nice to see them.

    Love always from my heart of hearts,

    Pepper xoxox

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  4. demonblaster
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    6 September 2018 in reply to Just Sara

    Dear Sez (chooky) figure you'd need a good soul hug 🤗 hi all other lovelies too 🖐

    Good to see you and thanks for the update darl

    Glad your sisters in recovery and being looked after. She sounds like a good lady looking after everyone and now having to get use to being looked after would be an adjustment, comfort in knowing she's got help and being cared for I'd imagine
    A load of worry off you all no doubt.

    Catching up with families a bonus so glad to hear of the positives amidst the hard times Sez.

    Take good care of yourself dear lady and make sure you get some down time too won't you, I imagine you've been pretty busy looking after the kids

    ⚘ popped this little pretty flower and colour of your choice in a tinsy vase for you, no need for water it's one of those special types from our virtual shopping center and Sez it's everlasting 😲

    To keep it happy and healthy all you have to do is look directly at it and give it a beaming ear to ear 😀 at least twice a day on waking and just before bed time. It's just a little bit magical hun, trust me it'll make you feel good 🤗

    Hope everyone has a good day 🐥chooky ☺



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  5. Just Sara
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    6 September 2018 in reply to demonblaster

    You guys are just wonderful!!!

    All sentiments and little flowers alike are accepted and appreciated with love and smiles. Thankyou; it means a lot.

    Back later to write more hopefully...

    love Sez xoxo

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  6. Ggrand
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    6 September 2018 in reply to Just Sara

    Hello lovely Sez,

    Im very pleased to hear that your sister will be okay...Thank you very much for your update.

    I hope that your sister continues to gain strength and heals quickly..

    I couldn’t imagine how much stress, pain, uncertainty that you and your family have been through..it’s nice to hear that your sister is now being looked after...also nice for family to be together for some quality time as well as supporting each other...

    So very pleased and happy for you and your family...that your sister will be getting the care she needs now and on her road to recovery...

    Love and care with special hugs..🤗🤗🤗..

    Grandy..

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  7. startingnew
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    6 September 2018 in reply to Just Sara

    Sending much love, hugs and butterfly wishes

    Love you too

    xoxoxoxo

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  8. Peppermintbach
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    7 September 2018 in reply to Just Sara

    Hi beautiful Sez (and a wave to all),

    It’s always good to hear from you. No rush...just take your time as I know you have a lot going on...

    Looking forward to your next post/update :)

    Warm cuddles, spring sunshine and love always from my heart of hearts...

    Pepper xoxox

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  9. Peppermintbach
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    14 September 2018 in reply to Just Sara

    Dear beautiful Sez,

    I was stunned this evening when I saw your Champion badge turn yellow. I’m writing in hopes that maybe you’ll see this but I don’t know if you will...

    I’m still processing, feeling both sad and perplexed in many ways...

    I’m not sure if you’re taking a break, something has happened personally, you have chosen to focus more on your business, family and offline life or whatever reason it might be...whatever the reason, I hope you’re okay and I hope you’re being loved and supported well offline.

    I, for one, will miss you very much. I’m still a little shocked so I am not even sure what I want to say...

    Thank you for being you...

    We have had many precious moments, beautiful conversations and shared many online hugs. Those are memories that I’ll cherish forever...you’ll always have a special place in my heart of hearts...

    We have also had moments where we challenged each other and didn’t see eye to eye. But the love was (is) always there, no matter what...

    I’m not sure if you’ll return. There’s a part of me that selfishly hopes so but I do understand you must have your reasons and need to do what is right for you personally...

    You will be missed...

    I feel sad that we will never meet his life but perhaps in our next life as the saying goes in my native tongue...it sounds much better in my native language, I assure you. The joys of being bilingual. Lol.

    To close, I wish you well and I truly hope incredible things happen, and that your business takes off :) I’m positive you will help so many in the community.

    You have such an in-depth firsthand understanding of PTSD and C-PTSD...you’re going to do brilliant things...I think you’re intelligent, practical, gutsy, determined, compassionate and kind :)

    Thank you for all your love, patience, care and kindness...

    Love always from my heart of hearts, this life and the next...

    Pepper xoxox

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  10. startingnew
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    14 September 2018 in reply to Peppermintbach

    Pepper youve said that so beautifully ❤

    Sez ❤ i really hope your not leaving but have just stepped down in your CC role...

    You need to do what is best for you of course but i still hope youll stay and at least do some pop ins....

    I too want to thank you for everything. You were and still are a huge part of saving me from those dreadful dark moments.

    I wish you well on this journey we call life. i am so proud of how far youve come and still continue to progress. A true inspiration not only to me but i know many others too. :)

    Anyways i do hope youll stay.... sending hugs and many butterfly wishes

    Love you xoxo

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  11. Ggrand
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    14 September 2018 in reply to startingnew

    Hello dear Sara,

    I wasnt sure what the orange bus was for, reading Peppy and Little butterfly’s posts I now understand....I really hope that you don’t leave, I follow you more then I post, you have no idea just how much you have helped me....I needed to tell you just in case you dissapeared like wk Tony did and I didn’t have the opportunity to thank him...Sara I want to say a big Thank you for all your help, kindness, care and love you have shown me....💜🕊..

    I really hope Sara that you will stay here, or pop in from time to time and say hello...I also hope so very much that your new business venture is going from strength to strength..

    Sara I’m wishing you all the best wishes that’s possible to wish for....no matter what road you take or what corner you turn....I wish you good luck.....Please keep in touch with us if you feel up to it.....

    Love Grandy..

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  12. Just Sara
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    15 September 2018 in reply to Peppermintbach

    Very heart-warming my lovelies; thankyou...

    Deep breath...

    I received invaluable counsel this week about only doing one thing at a time. It was a stark reminder of why I went into hospital last yr. Becoming overwhelmed by too many priorities has been 'my way' since I remember.

    It also explains why I've shifted away from emotional connections; not enough heart to go round I'm afraid. I always thought I had enough love for everyone. My subconscious knew something was up, but it took me a while to jerry.

    I've talked about it in posts prior to this oblivious as to why I felt that way. I'm glad it's out in the open at last. :-) What I've given away unconditionally may actually have been harmful. I don't mean 'lose the plot' harmful; another way of losing balance.

    Pulling away as I've done for a while now was an inclination, an inner need. It just felt 'right'. I've learned to trust those inklings, they're always the harbingers of valuable insight. Not always fun though I can assure you. It tore at me pulling away from you's the way I did.

    Now that I'm aware of why, I've let go of certain responsibilities to allow me space in my head and heart to do what I need to do without putting too much pressure on myself. Honestly? I want to be here on my own behalf for a while. Whew!

    I think I have to learn how to do that. Mmm...

    So.. my sister's on the mend tho she's scared shitless of it happening again. I can really understand that. She refuses to drive which is indicative of her fear. I'm pretty proud of her actually. She's doing it one day at a time..

    I'm still preparing to open the doors to my business. There's training I need to finish, quite a bit of advice to source and costly items to pay for. I was on the path to do it earlier but something wasn't right inside of me.

    I know it's good for me because I light up when I talk about it. So many businesses fail in their first yr; I don't want to be one of those statistics.

    My little doggy's showing signs of growing old. He's really gotta watch out for those poles jumping out in front of him. Ouch! Poor little bugger; his mind's 3 steps ahead of his body. Awwwe...

    I don't feel comfortable addressing your emotional words to me yet. Sigh.. just a little while longer. Please be patient with me ok.

    Love ya's...truly

    Sez xoxo

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  13. demonblaster
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    15 September 2018 in reply to Just Sara

    Dear Chooky

    You've done a great service to thousands 👍

    Your intelligence knowledge and help to so many myself included will never be forgotten.

    What struck me when I first met you and part of many reasons I like and care very much about you is your relaxed cruisy and friendly persona.

    There's an endearing warmth to you Sez. I too am sorry we'll not meet in real life (RL) and feel honoured and grateful to have met you.

    I have immense respect for here and the community champions (everyone here but talking about you atm). Respects earnt. That won't change chooky ☺

    An absolute pleasure knowing you darl. You're a very strong courageous lady. You deserve peace and happiness.

    Wishing you every success in your business and new life.

    Please don't be a stranger dear friend. You seriously rock hun

    Love chooky 🤗

    🌱 (new beginnings)

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  14. Peppermintbach
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    15 September 2018 in reply to Just Sara

    Hi lovely Sez,

    Sorry, I didn’t realise you were still around...I thought the yellow badge meant you were offline. It’s great to see you here. Thanks so much for coming in to say hi :)

    Honestly, I could have told you that a while ago...even before you started pulling away, and I don’t even necessarily mean just the forums either. But how do you tell someone that I feel that s/he doesn’t “have enough heart to go around” as you put it? Rhetorical question. I don’t mean it as criticism but it’s just a gentle observation that is based on my instincts...I could elaborate but I’m not sure you would want me to so I’ll just leave it there ;)

    Hopefully, now that you have stepped down from certain responsibilities, it will mean less pressure. You can maybe breathe a little easier and worry less about replying to posts, etc...

    You must be relieved and grateful that you’re sister is recovering. It’s a good thing that she is just taking things moment by moment, and is surrounded by support and care :)

    Your poor little doggie does sound like he needs to be extra careful. I know how much he means to you...

    All the best with your business! The training sounds invaluable, and no doubt, it will be really useful...

    Love,

    Pepper xoxo

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  15. startingnew
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    15 September 2018 in reply to Just Sara

    Morning Sez

    It is so good to hear from you. I do understand why you drifted away i know it was very difficult for you too. No need to address posts unless your Comfortable in doing so.

    I might be way off track but by reading your posts it sounds like your not actually leaving but have stepped down from the role so that you can just be here on your own accord without having the added responsibilities-one less pressure on you....

    it is good to hear your sisters on the mend, i dont blame her for being scared or for not wanting to drive. I hope she continues to improve. Hugs for her.

    Your doing the right thing by your business, go with your own feelings and if something doesnt feel right then usually it isnt. I am sure your business will be successful, i have faith in you. Xox

    Aww poor little dog, let hope those poles dont jump in front of him too much!

    sending much love and hugs

    Xoxoxo

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  16. Ggrand
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    15 September 2018 in reply to Just Sara

    Hello Sara,

    I’m very pleased to hear from you, and that your sister is beginning to heal...

    The first time I read your words were very soothing to me, If I remember you were talking to our Little butterfly, I kept quiet for a while just reading the conversation between you Starts and Peppy, because I was being helped..and didn’t have to speak, over time I started speaking a little then more and more and began to get to know what a very warm caring, very intelligent beautiful person you are...I’m honoured to have gotten to know you....I really hope you will pop in and say hello when you feel up to it...

    Sara, I really hope with all my heart that your business will become a thriving success for you...you deserve everything good that this universe has to offer...You have helped so many people here thousands and your posts will continue to help thousands more..Thank you Sara....Your a legend, very much loved and cared for here, that will never change..xxoo

    Lots of love 💜💜💜💜, big hugs 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 and Peace 🕊🕊🕊🕊...

    Grandy...

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  17. Peppermintbach
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    15 September 2018 in reply to Just Sara

    Hi Sez (waves to all),

    If it helps...as Butterfly Wings said, you don’t need to address anything that you don’t feel comfortable addressing :)

    In the case of my post, please don’t make my post more than what it needs to be. I only wrote it because I thought that you had gone offline...plus I was still feeling stunned (at the time) that your badge had turned yellow...

    If it helps ease any difficult feelings you may have (even just a little), I’ve been gradually learning to let go as you pulled away...

    That’s not to say that I like it or find it easy, and it doesn’t mean that I don’t care or love you (because I do). But I just feel that I don’t want to cling/hold onto someone who is pulling away...

    That being said, I still appreciate your updates, like to say hello from time to time and send my love and blessings because I care...

    Hopefully, it will be a refreshing and enlightening change for you to be on the forums just for your own sake. Maybe you’ll have some new revelations and insight. It will definitely be a good learning experience...

    All the best with everything and, if you feel like it as there’s no obligation, it would be pretty fabulous if you said hello here from time to time :)

    Love always,

    Pepper xoxox

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  18. Quercus
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    16 September 2018 in reply to Just Sara

    Hi dear Sara 😊,

    What a weird feeling to see your yellow bus. I am going to miss you behind the scenes but am so pleased you are still going to be around the forums.

    But... This choice is not about me... It is about you. And I am proud of you for making a choice to care for yourself no matter how difficult it felt.

    As always, you are an example to us to look to and see how self care is done gracefully 😊. It is easy to say "I feel overwhelmed/spread too thin". The hardest part is setting boundaries.

    How are you feeling? I hope excited and hopeful for your business. Reassured because we are all still here caring about you and fully understand and support your choices. And most of all I hope you can focus on doing whatever makes you feel happy 😊.

    Thank you my friend for all you have given and continue to give of your heart. It is time for us to give to you!

    Love Nat xox

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  19. Just Sara
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    16 September 2018

    I re-read the first page of this thread yesterday remembering who I was back then. My aim was to post about changing into the person I've always wanted to be. 60 pages later I find myself transitioning into that person. (Yet again, lol)

    Yes, my process has been full of movement and growth, not without abundant help though my lovelies. I couldn't have done it without BeyondBlue and its amazing community of people; you, and you, and you and you and you... :-D You know who I'm talking to!

    Stepping down as CC has been emotional. I've actually been lost for words; go figure eh! :-b Letting go, moving forward, transitioning... they're all words to describe dying a little to be reborn into the next phase of 'being'. Bitter sweet? No, dying's never that easy.

    I've said goodbye to my old self many times on this journey. Thinking about it as I sit here, it seems I'm finally saying with confidence; "..hello". It feels, well, different? It's odd trying to express to others what it feels like.

    I'm going to respond to each of you individually on your threads. There isn't enough space here to say what's on my mind and in my heart. I shed happy tears today reading here, the Bouquet thread and the CPTSD thread. I wanted to write here first to shed words waiting to be written.

    Big thankyou's, squeezing hugs, cheers and smiles to everyone!

    Love ya's!

    Sez xoxo

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  20. demonblaster
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    16 September 2018 in reply to Just Sara
    🤗💗 chooky ☺
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  21. Peppermintbach
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    16 September 2018 in reply to Just Sara

    Hi Sez and all,

    Congratulations :)

    You are finally where and who you want to be. I hope you’re feeling proud of yourself. It wasn’t an easy road but you have finally gotten to know yourself...

    This is your metamorphosis...congratulations once again :)

    Love always,

    Pepper xoxo

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  22. Ggrand
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    16 September 2018 in reply to Just Sara

    Dearest Sara,

    Hello!...What a beautiful word that is..isn’t it?.

    .I hope that one day I can also say goodbye to me...then Hello to me as well.... Your a huge inspiration to so many people Sara...

    I would also like to congratulate you along with our gentle Peppy for achieving what you have...

    Love and hugs..

    Grandy...

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  23. Just Sara
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    17 September 2018 in reply to Ggrand

    MWAH!!!!!!

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  24. Just Sara
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    26 September 2018 in reply to Just Sara

    In Jane Austen's 'Pride and Prejudice', according to social standards, a humourous woman is favourable, but to be witty is impertinent. The difference???

    Wit is intelligent...

    Emma would use the term 'ironic' along with a wily grin. A man in that day and age might outwardly object to her brash behaviour, yet secretly, some were intimately drawn to her. Others intimidated or even disturbed. But...none were indifferent. :-)

    Her mother begs her not to 'tease' the boys with her wit. I sort of get this. If you're advertising your daughter as an attractive option for marriage, you wouldn't want people thinking she's acting above her station. Meaning of course, intelligence was man's domain.

    Do snippets of man's fear of women's intelligence still exist? I think so. It happens in marriage all the time. Man beating his hairy chest yelling; "Be quiet woman for I am your Lord and Master!"

    How would you react to a statement like this from your partner?

    A) Curl up at his feet as 'Ruth' did in the Bible.

    B) Wet yourself laughing.

    C) Comment; "Pull your head in and make me a cuppa please" His response; "Yes dear"

    D) Scream; "Come hither lover-boy! Grrrrowl"

    Yes, I suppose these are a tad extreme. Ha ha.. Metaphorically speaking, it got your attention though didn't it?

    See what boredom at 2am does to your psyche? lol Better go I spose...

    Nigh-night...

    Sez xoxo

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  25. Peppermintbach
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    26 September 2018 in reply to Just Sara

    Hi Sez (waves to all),

    I’m going to assume you’re being playful with only a touch of seriousness in your latest post. Lol.

    I think some (not all) men might be intimidated. But generally speaking, I feel perhaps the ones who do feel intimidated may not necessarily feel comfortable openly admitting it...

    In any case, I feel A) to D) does not apply to me so I’m creating my own option...

    E) Demand that he pays for me to move into my own (separate) mansion, and he can have all the “quiet’ he wants. By himself.

    Lol...I hope you either managed to get some sleep or find some other interesting things to do. Or you could continue thinking about Jane Austen, and/or women’s intelligence and its social and cultural implications ;)

    Love,

    Pepper xoxo

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  26. Quercus
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    26 September 2018 in reply to Just Sara

    Hehe thanks Sara for making my morning.

    Did you manage to get any sleep after all?

    Reading your options I'm going to go multiple choice and extra like Pepper...

    My other half does tend towards being bossy and I love him anyway so I use all of your options depending on my mood. It keeps him on his toes haha.

    A. The first step. Agree/submit so he stops trying to prove his point for two seconds. Or at least say I'll think on it.

    C. Step two. Assert myself/set boundaries. Yep I get what you're saying and what you want. We'll figure out some sort of compromise. But I'm going to be kind and hope that you did intend to ask me politely not boss me about.

    B and D mixed together. Step 3. The laughter/flirting. I tend to make some smart ass comment about now. About both of us. Laugh at myself for being a sucker for a bossy boots. Tease him a bit about going all "protector" on me. Hint that we can butt heads and get all grumpy or spend the time having fun instead.

    E. Step 4. Know when to walk away for a bit. There are days where we're both being jerks. Nothing will work but time out to calm down.

    Maybe not Jane Austen style but it's how I roll.

    Hope you are having a better sleep in than me. Bloody kids and sunrise wakeups.

    ❤ Nat

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  27. Just Sara
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    26 September 2018 in reply to Quercus

    Ha!!!

    What a great response Nat! Love it!

    I had no idea how people would take my early morning boredom banter. I'm glad I risked it. I loved the way you used my silliness to create a well rounded step by step approach. It makes perfect sense and is really workable. Don't you just love being intelligent!? lol

    I sort of knew how you'd respond Pepper girl. Make them work for it eh? he he..

    Oh my goodness! It's perfectly sinful Elizabeth! How on earth did you convince Mr Darcy to put you up in that unashamedly extravagant mansion?

    Oh Charlotte my dearest and most trusted friend, I appealed to his good sense of reason in the face of public humiliation of course. It's all quite simple you see; when he carried on with his ape man impersonation, I was forced to reckon with his unforgiving expectations of me and foretell of it being outed as a topic for discussion - at dinner on Tuesday with Lady Catherine.

    Oh Elizabeth, you're deliciously evil...

    Ah ha ha ha ha...oh how it is to laugh, to sing, to dance... tra lee tra lah

    OMG! There must've been some funny mushrooms in that cuppa! ha ha Sometimes you just gotta give in to the silly bug eh...or do you think it could be psychosis? hmm or delusion? Or maybe, just maybe, it's happiness...

    Love Sez xox

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  28. Peppermintbach
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    4566 posts
    27 September 2018 in reply to Just Sara

    Hi Sez (waves to all),

    It’s nice to see you’re having a lot of fun with your Mr Darcy and Elizabeth ;) lol.

    I think it’s refreshing to see you in high spirits. The most important part is you seem uplifted and content...happiness is a real blessing.

    I’m happy that you’re feeling so much joy today. Cherish those precious moments :)

    Love,

    Pepper xoxo

    2 people found this helpful
  29. startingnew
    Valued Contributor
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    startingnew avatar
    5861 posts
    27 September 2018
    Good to see you Sez and in good spirits :-) xoxox
    3 people found this helpful
  30. Just Sara
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
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    Just Sara avatar
    3398 posts
    28 September 2018 in reply to Peppermintbach

    Dear Pepper; (shout-out to DB, Grandy, Butterfly wings and Nat!)

    Yes, I've had a lot of fun writing. That silliness is rare respite from the seriousness of life and 'thinking' too much.

    I used a fair bit of creative energy sure, but that uses a different part of the brain. A few endorphins thrown in for good measure and wallah! Smiles and laughter...

    I was comparing myself from 3 yrs ago to now. What a journey! The path is stained from tears, blood and guts, all necessary for moving forward. The fact I can become silly without it being a nervous response to a trigger feels so nice. That joy and calm will never be taken for granted I can assure you Pepper.

    I wish I could pass it to you thru the screen.

    Hearts and minds;

    Sez xoxo

    4 people found this helpful

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