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Forums / Long term support over the journey / Not in a good space

Topic: Not in a good space

  1. Katyonthehamsterwheel
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    1676 posts
    20 February 2020 in reply to monkey_magic

    oh m_m you're a personal trainer! And there we all are in the BB cafe scoffing muffins and cheesecake lol! You might come in handy!

    OT would be pretty cool. I used to work in aged care and the OT's would come in and conduct activities with the oldies. I always found it quite interesting, and in a way it's creative, trying to come up with activities that are fun and suitable. But yeah, have a look what else is out there :)

    1 person found this helpful
  2. Hanna3
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    3631 posts
    20 February 2020 in reply to calmseeker

    Hi Monkey Hi Calmseeker,

    Monkey OT would be great, what a satisfying career helping people! Go for it I say...

    Calmseeker I think it's great that your daughter is changing careers now while she's young enough - if she's unhappy I hope she finds a career that suits her better - even though yes she's moved back in with you in the meantime! Really good wishes with your house hunting, it's horrible isn't it. Take care xx

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  3. Junior412
    Junior412 avatar
    37 posts
    20 February 2020

    Hi everyone,

    Good to see everyone is going well. Katy, it’s good to hear from you often after your bad patch. I really hope with all my heart things are on the improve for you. You know you’ll always have my support.

    I’ve had a rotten day at work today, towards the end of my shift I heard of an incident within my industry of work - while not directly affecting me at my workplace, has shaken me and other workmates up considerably. Two dead in the incident, I may know one or both of them as a former workmate from years back but unconfirmed. Even if not, it’s still within my work industry ‘family.’ I’m sure others understand what I mean.

    Sometimes when you go about your business at work or leisure, you never think when you get out of bed that morning that you won’t make it home that night.

    Stay safe and be there for each other wonderful people.

  4. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3631 posts
    21 February 2020 in reply to Junior412

    Hi Junior,

    That must have shaken you up terribly I am sorry to hear about it. I once had a work colleague killed in a car smash (it was one of the doctors on a ward where I was working) and it shocked the whole unit, nobody could take it in or function properly. Something like that really gives you a jolt. So I can well imagine what you and your colleagues are going through. Hope you can give each other support through it all. All my best wishes to you ...

  5. Katyonthehamsterwheel
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    21 February 2020 in reply to Junior412

    Hi Simon, thanks for your support and for being here.

    I can imagine news like that would be shocking for you all. As Hanna has said, I hope you guys are able to support each other during this time. It's good to have other people to talk through things with that will understand, just like we do here.

    Really rotten news mate, and I'm sorry to hear it. Big hugs, Katy

  6. Junior412
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    37 posts
    22 February 2020 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel
    Thanks Hanna, thanks Katy. Take care everyone.
  7. Hanna3
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    3631 posts
    23 February 2020 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hi Katy,

    Just wondered how you are getting on getting ready for Uni - exciting and anxiety provoking I can imagine but your final year how terrific is that! Just sending my best wishes, pats to Storm xx

  8. Katyonthehamsterwheel
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    23 February 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hi Hanna

    I'm feeling extra anxious pre-start this semester. I guess it's because I'm doing a heavier workload, plus one unit on campus, so the anticipation is on overdrive. As soon as I woke up this morning I felt those ugly feelings that come with anxiety - plus tears. Oh dear. I have some letters from the university congratulating me on my grades, pinned up on my noticeboard to try and calm me, but so far it's not helping lol. I guess I'll just have to hope that after first week I'm back in the swing of things, and down to regular stress level.

    How are you today? What are you and Sam up to? I took Storm down to the oval this morning and she chewed on a nice big stick while I drank my coffee. It was nice but the weather is very overcast and dull, which never makes for a mood improver. Could be worse I suppose. Now I'm not sure what I want to do with myself. Not very motivated to do anything. Maybe I'll go back to bed and read or find a movie. Something distracting.

    Hugs. Thanks for your kind thoughts.

  9. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3631 posts
    23 February 2020 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hi Katy,

    I can understand the anxiety - the anticipation is always worse than once you actually get started on something. You've got a letter congratulating you on your grades - good on you, that should give you confidence in yourself, remember what I said about how many students pass at the bare minimum level!

    We have overcast weather here too but no useful rain, and yes dreary weather definitely doesn't help our moods!

    I think you will feel better once you get that first week under your belt and you can settle back into the rhythm of studying, reading etc. Remember other students are feeling anxious too!

    I used to get anxious before going into big lecture theatres full of students (mainly because due to being attacked in my past I felt I couldn't escape easily) - my psychologist gave me distracting techniques, like stopping before going in and counting backwards from 20 or something like that - they did help actually. I always had an isle seat near the door, so I felt able to get out without causing much disturbance - but I never actually needed to!

    I hope you'll post how it goes next week - I think it's next week? Because I think you will be fine and then you can start enjoying it. Yes a heavier workload but your grades show you can manage this better than many others can or will. If you ever find you think you can't manage, tutors are very keen to help students who they know are good students, so just let them know.

    Thinking of you, glad you had a pleasant outing with Storm today.

    I've taken Sam for two nice walks around town instead of the park - different smells! And I do like the cooler weather. I wish I had some company but don't, so I'm glad of Sam who is a dear little guy. Am reading History of the Rain by Niall Williams, the Irish writer I like so much - I wasn't sure for a little while but now it's become so good I am loving it! I still have the final series of The Bridge to finish too...

    Hoping I will hear how you go. Rest up this evening, furry hugs from Sam, pats to Storm! ooo

  10. Junior412
    Junior412 avatar
    37 posts
    23 February 2020

    Hi Katy,

    Just a quick message to you, my good friend and supporter - all the best for the semester ahead. We all know you'll smash it! You've proven to us here exactly how strong you are - the biggest step was opening up to us saying that you needed to reach out. We're all here for you - by now we hope you realise that. The rest of the semester will take care of itself.

    Sorry I don't have much to say here tonight, but wanted to quickly visit and say i'll be thinking or you.

    Hugs,

    Simon

  11. Junior412
    Junior412 avatar
    37 posts
    23 February 2020

    Hi all,

    Just a quick line here, out to my beautiful friend Tayls; haven't heard from her in a while. Hope you're well girl. Drop in and say hi, so I and others who care for you know you're ok.

    Hugs and kisses,

    Simon xx

    1 person found this helpful
  12. Katyonthehamsterwheel
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    24 February 2020 in reply to Junior412

    Hey Simon

    Thanks for popping in and lending your support. First day of uni semester today and I'm feeling a bit more positive about things. If you ever want to chat about anything, pop by, I'll still be checking in.

    Katy

  13. calmseeker
    calmseeker avatar
    333 posts
    25 February 2020 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hi there Katy,

    My daughter started uni yesterday also and came home extremely tired, made me wonder how you went yesterday. Glad to read here that you felt a bit more positive.

    Do you have to travel far from your home to get to campus?

    Have an awesome day Katy xo

  14. Katyonthehamsterwheel
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    25 February 2020 in reply to calmseeker

    Hey CS :)

    If your daughter is brand new to it all, she's probably more tired than I am! The start is very information overload and using our brains like that is tiring lol. I live really close to campus so I could and do walk there or ride my bike sometimes. I'm doing most of mine off campus though, just the one afternoon on campus.

    Day 2 done, and I'm knackered, but feeling positive still. Thanks for your good wishes x

  15. calmseeker
    calmseeker avatar
    333 posts
    26 February 2020 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Katy - That's so cool that youre able to walk or ride to uni. From what I remember, you're also in a part of the country where the weather is probably good enough to do this most days.

    No pressure , but I do hope you're able to find work in your field of choice when you finish as I would go as far as to say you are gifted when it comes to helping people. I was reading a response you posted on here to a girl who was experiencing relationship difficulty and I have to say your advice and support to her was brilliant. You have told me before though, that its the journey your enjoying and not so much the end game. Totally get that.

    Today is cooler, there are butterflies dancing about everywhere outside, I can smell nice smells in the air so I shall try and do something productive and appreciate this very rare feeling of peace that has come over me (anxious me is saying 'It aint gonna last you know that don't you').

    Calm vibes going in your direction

    CS

  16. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3631 posts
    26 February 2020 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Good to hear that you are feeling better Katy - well done you. I'm sorry my reply on my thread last night got deleted after I wrote it - I've been having some problems with the reply key working lately on BB.... interesting that you mentioned how the town where you live is getting busier and more built up, it seems to happen everywhere - just so many people I guess and many are fleeing the big cities...

    I hope your on campus session goes well for you. Take care xx

  17. Katyonthehamsterwheel
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    27 February 2020

    Hi CS, Hi Hanna :)

    Thanks CS for your kind words, really lovely. I also enjoyed thinking about your nice peaceful feeling and the butterflies. What lovely imagery. I hope it truly made for a nice day, and anxiety held at bay. Unfortunately mine didn't and I didn't make it to uni for my first on campus class - eeek. I'm trying not to kick my butt about it. I'll just try again next week. Hope your daughter is going ok :)

    No worries Hanna, about the reply, mine often vanish too and I have to start over. Thanks for popping by :)

    Katy xx

  18. smallwolf
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    smallwolf avatar
    6286 posts
    29 February 2020 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hi Katy,

    Just thought I would pop in and say hello to you. Hope your weekend is going OK.

    What are you studying at Uni?

    Tim

  19. Katyonthehamsterwheel
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    1 March 2020

    Hi Tim, and anyone else about :) Hope things are ok with everyone

    I'm studying social work. I absolutely love it! I'm in the final year, so it's busy, busy :)

    Thanks for popping by!

    Katy

  20. calmseeker
    calmseeker avatar
    333 posts
    2 March 2020

    Hi there Katy,

    I responded to you on the 'housing and mental health' thread but it hasn't appeared yet and is taking a while.

    It should appear sometime. In the meantime, take care.

    CSx

  21. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    2 March 2020

    Hi all.

    Just popping in to say hello to everyone, and to check in to see how everybody's going.

    And to apologise for taking ages to reply, I had a break from the forums, so that's why.

    Take care all, I'm here if anyone needs me. I'll be catching up on the other threads I've missed too so bare with me.

    I've missed you all.

    Tayla x

    1 person found this helpful
  22. calmseeker
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    333 posts
    3 March 2020

    Hey there Katy girl,

    As I mentioned, I left you a message on the 'Housing and mental health thread' but it has never come through. At first I thought it was with the moderators but now I think maybe I have accidentally pressed cancel instead of post (apologies BB staff for thinking it was on your end). I wouldn't be surprised if I have done this as I have been a bit off with the fairies due to a pesky head cold or flu or something I have had, its definitely made me a bit spacey! Yesterday I woke up and realised I couldn't hear out of my left ear, its totally blocked and has pangs of pains through the day. Anyhow, I am sure it will all clear up soon but its no fun.

    I have been busy trying to spend a decent amount of time on an online CBT course I enrolled in. Its interesting and I am hoping with time it will be useful. Face to face CBT with psych would probably be more beneficial as its tailored and this online course sort of pitches the ball in the middle for everyone. Have you ever done any CBT? I do find managing GAD takes some determination and focus and I get a bit exhausted going into battle with it sometimes.

    How is uni going so far? Do you feel youre back in the routine of it all yet? Any assignments yet?

    Sending calm vibes your way for an awesome day xo

  23. Katyonthehamsterwheel
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    3 March 2020 in reply to Missing user

    Hi Tayla

    Nice to see you popping in on my thread. I said hi to you in the cafe :) Good to have you back x

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  24. Katyonthehamsterwheel
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    3 March 2020 in reply to calmseeker

    Hey CS

    I did keep an eye out for your post, but it never appeared. I do the same sometimes, think I've posted, but haven't. Sorry to hear you've been unwell. I was a bit worried when I hadn't seen you post.

    There's lots of research backing CBT, so that's great you're doing an online course. I've been seeing my current psychologist for a decade now. Prior to that I saw four or five others, whom I didn't really gel with. But in my experience, one of the first things they all do is explain CBT, so you can understand the relationship between thoughts/feelings/actions (from memory). So basically in changing one aspect of this, you can effect change in the other interrelated components, which makes sense. It's been a while so feel free to correct me if I'm off track.

    So everything that I do with my psych I presume is CBT based. So if tell her I'm nervous about going on campus for uni, we examine my thoughts to see if they're accurate, my behaviours (what will I do? what can I do differently?), and my feelings (does it make me happy, sad, excited?). What can I change? What will make a positive difference?

    Does that sound similar to what you're learning about?

    Interestingly, I've only recently come to the conclusion that I've been just waiting on my therapist to fix me, instead of working on myself, which I should have been doing all this time. No point kicking myself, at least I know that now! So I can take those techniques and apply them for myself between sessions, as well as all the supplementary helpful things like yoga, meditation, healthy eating...

    Of course, it's all pretty hard work, as you've mentioned, so it doesn't always happen anyway, and we need to be ok with that too. Some days are just "not today" days.

    (Sorry for talking your ear off here!)

    Anyway uni is going ok. I'm on track, I think :) How's your daughter managing so far?

    Katy x

  25. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    3 March 2020 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel
    Thanks for the kind words Katy, nice to be back. I replied to you on the Cafe too x
  26. Junior412
    Junior412 avatar
    37 posts
    3 March 2020 in reply to Missing user

    Hi Katy,

    Really glad to hear things are going well with you, and that you’re enjoying your course.

    Sorry I haven’t been on in the last few days, just having a break from digital land. My psycho said it was probably a good idea to have a detox as he’s noticed a bit of a slide in my progress.

    Tayla - nice to hear from you again.

    Hope everyone is well.

    Simon

    1 person found this helpful
  27. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    3 March 2020 in reply to Junior412

    Thanks Simon, it's nice to be back. Sometimes being off the internet can be good, I've tried hard a few times but I just can't, because I don't have much else, just my walks and stuff like that really, I get bored with things easily. But trust me I've tried.

    I did go off Facebook a few years back for a year or so though, didn't seem to miss it after a while.

    Take care all

  28. calmseeker
    calmseeker avatar
    333 posts
    4 March 2020 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hi Katy,

    The CBT online that I am doing does have all the components of what you described yes. I actually saw a bit of an increase in anxiety when I first started instead of decrease - I think I was finding it difficult to implement the strategies being taught to me and having a panic about 'well where else have I got to go if this doesn't work ?' - also they want me to be able to identify thoughts during a panic episode which has always been so difficult for me to do. They have assured me that a bit of an increase is normal and all the tools I am learning take lots of practice and patience.

    Its interesting that now that I am learning what CBT is all about, I have realised that the appointments I have with my psych don't seemed to be based around CBT from what I can gather, they seem to be more talk therapy- like. My psych is a lovely lady , but I really am not seeing her often enough (probably every 2-3 months) and I think I actually know more about her life than she does mine to be honest.

    Don't be sorry for talking my ear off! I love it! I am sure I was talking straight out of the womb,lol. I am a talker through and through. The few good friends I have say they have to have conversations with me in 'instalments' as there is no such thing as a quick phone call or catch up. My conversations are on average between 2 and 3 hours long! I do think I am just as good a listener as I am a talker though, so I believe that balances things out! 2500 characters may not be enough for chats here, I think 1000 might be more to my liking :)

    Funny that you mention you've only just realised that you have been waiting for your therapist to fix you and have concluded that it doesn't work like that. I too have only just recently realised that I have actually been seeking out that one tip or skill that magically takes all the pain away. I think I had been under the impression for a long time that there will be 'one' thing, whatever that may be that will render me anxiety free. Like you, I am now realising its a mixture of lots of different things that pave the road to recovery. Sound like we are both learning :)

    I hope your day has been kind to you.

    Always a treat to catch up with you.

    CS xo

  29. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    4 March 2020

    Just popping in to say hello to Katy and everyone else on the thread. I hope you're all well, take care everyone.

    I'm around if anyone needs me, as always.

    Tayla x

  30. Junior412
    Junior412 avatar
    37 posts
    4 March 2020 in reply to Missing user

    Thanks Tayla,

    Will keep that in mind. Hope you’re well.

    Simon

    1 person found this helpful

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