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Forums / Long term support over the journey / Surviving: Being in a better place

Topic: Surviving: Being in a better place

  1. Croix
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    9 November 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Dear DB

    I'm very glad your man is recovering, I wasn't sure what was happening.

    Only a NZ'er would think of planting a tropical tree on an iceberg.

    Actually between concerts, orgies and leaving piles of empty beer cans with kiwis staggering around in an inebriated daze you sure give my iceberg a hard time. Sill the refrigerator I bought for my igloo with the proceeds of selling your amp is working well.

    Croix

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  2. Ggrand
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    14 November 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello beautiful bbff👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩....

    I wanted to write you a post today and have started in notes, but today hasn’t been a good day for me..I am so tired, sleepy tired caused by a 🤕 ...My eyes are achy as well, and just popped in to say that I will come visit you tomorrow afternoon/evening....

    I am going to bed now...early for me but a bit of self care is needed right now to try to stop what I’m certain is the start of the dreaded migraine.....

    Wishing my precious bbff, a goodnight with sweet dreams of fairies, angels with their healing and calming powers...

    Eternal love and friendship dearest Deebi...💚🦋🧸👼🦄👼👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

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  3. Ggrand
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    15 November 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello beautiful bbff👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩....Hi Croix..giving you a wave 🌊 oops not that type of wave...ahh here it is 👋....

    Very good to hear that Mr.Deebi has recovered well...let’s pray that he gets no more stones...

    Awe honey of course you would have been very stressed not knowing what was happening to our beautiful Mr. Deebi...and while in BP would have made it that so much harder for you.....I am so impressed in how your managing your BP and mh.....We know how hard it is to manage mh...your doing a top job of it....which I think deserves a big sticky chocolate mud cake, with fresh strawberries on top 😁...

    Every little thing we start and then finish, no matter how long it takes..does give us a little uplifting feeling of joy and satisfaction with each part we do....When I finish something that I start...I hear a big 🥁 roll, with loud happy music 🎵 🎶.....

    How is your foot, back and neck feeling lately?....I like the tiny 🌴 on Croix’s Iceberg...it adds colour...If it’s a coconut tree, we will have some warm coconuts to stand on when we practice our music 😁🎻🎷🎺🎸...

    Hope your days are good lovely bbff...and your enjoying some walk in the sunshine....We have had rain for nearly a week, and freezing strong winds for a couple of day....The town I work in has some flooding in the outer areas...

    Big hugs with eternal love and care, my bbff..🧸🤗💚👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹🦄👼..Please look after each other and yourselves the best you can...

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...

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  4. Ggrand
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    22 November 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Hello beautiful bbff👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...

    RUOK?....

    Just popping a bunch of Jonquils, Daisies, Marigold and roses, with a tin of delicious chocolates....and a crystal bowl..that I’ve caught some clouds, stars, love and care into..each star ⭐️ is a hug dearest bbff...

    Love, hugs and a very special warm hug precious friend...💚🤗, full of my care..

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

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  5. demonblaster
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    22 November 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Hello my bbf 👩‍❤️‍👩f dear Croixy🐧 and readers ☺

    Thank you both so very much for your caring and very supportive posts.

    I'm good thanks Grandy love can't believe how quick time moves.

    Sorry I haven't been back I have some MH notes and very much want to reply to you lovely ones which I will soon.

    Loved the flowers choccy and how gorgeous the stars with a hug in each.

    Cracked up at the wave to Croixy so funny Grandz.

    I think it's so much and over so long getting through the so often mh episodes that when I finalky have "normal" time it's a treat tho everything stops. Motivation isnt there.

    Though have been doing some good long walking and shorter ones to. We're going well.

    Poor other besty has to leave her place. Geez it sux.

    Grandy and Croixy Pawsy I really hope youse are all ok as much as can be.

    So much deep lasting love Grandy darling bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩💜 always 🗯🤗🌈🌞🔥✊💗👀🤝

    Bbl dear people thanks so much ☺

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  6. demonblaster
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    26 November 2021 in reply to demonblaster
    Dear Croixy 🐧 Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 & all hiyaz ☺

    I hope Mrs nsc has settled. Sad she's ? been so hurt Grandy love.

    Darl there's Yellow Red and White coloured cords to connect from TV to recorder. The colours are easier to see which goes to what port. We're waiting on a friend to hook the other TV to our game consoles as well if I can find it hymm 🤔

    Been playing more poker I'm enjoying it but was ok not for a few wks. Yip agree doesnt seem much harm eh.,

    Achilles seems better finally & bursitis just a bit thx askin lovey. Hips eased a lot. Anti inflams helping with 🤕 seem to for hip too. Asked him if it could be like your muscle he said could be.

    😆 loven that vision of our band practice under the Palm 🌴
    Haha Croixys drummed up some good business from our Amps 😆
    Good man I think you're doing very well holding the kg's. Certainly taste is a massive pleasure. Very hard isnt it.

    Grandz I'm doing well in mania controlling it & managing the barrage of thoughts if I can remember what helps for the downs. Getting there thx hun ☺ Bloody hard tho eh.

    Dear Mr Deebi 😍 the precious love he's doing very well. What a sweety he's so easy to be with. We're very happy 💗 Deep love.

    Oh that mudcake was very nice thanking you my gorjy.

    Geez I'm more than ever so aware of how mh affects me. The memory and comprehending phooey bad news.
    I guess so many angles my minds at me it's no wonder. Starting to get stronger overall. God it's mighty!

    Grandy Croixy Pawsy thank you 🤗👩‍❤️‍👩🐧🐾 you're so appreciated really 💗

    Eternal deep love and bbff-ness 😅 Grandy hope you feel ok honey. Big day precious soul 😚🤗💗
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  7. Paw Prints
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    29 November 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Deebi, wave to Mr Deebi,

    Just galloped over on Woofa... umm don't look at those muddy paw prints up the walls & over the ceiling... braking isn't his strong point... look over here!!!... a yummy calorie free chocolate cake with Kahlua cream filling & Kahlua choc icing... & a big pot of whatever cuppa takes your fancy to have with the cake...

    So good to hear some of the ouches have eased a bit & that the two of you are managing to still have your walks... it sounds like you are getting better at choofing beasty off despite everything going on too... love how you keep picking yourself up & trying again & again...

    Sending you huggily hugs

    Paws

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  8. Ggrand
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    1 December 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hi beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, lovely Paws..

    Just popping in to say booooo and hope you are doing okay..I remember so well that you used to self talk very sternly to beasty to Choof off....

    Please keep telling on telling [IT]xx that it cannot have you at all.....We are all definitely and absolutely so much stronger then old beasty that tries to down us....Keep telling yourself that dearest bbff...I mean beasty is residing in our bodies not paying rent and trying to destroy us...[IT] x doesn’t belong their...

    I’m doing okay bbff...I have you as my best ever bbff...Love you as well beautiful friend..💚🧸🤗🌹🦄🕊👼..We will get their...I know we all will..just got to trust in ourselves..

    My love hugs and care to everyone reading..💜🤗🌹.

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy

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  9. demonblaster
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    9 December 2021 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hi 🐾 /👩‍❤️‍👩 & all ☺

    😄 loven the Woofa gallop scenario Pawsy. Thanks for dropping in and Grandy darlin youse are so lovely & appreciated.

    😂 uh oh... 🤔 heard you can get brake pads incorporated in the reins these days hun at the cheapy shops which at least gives you a tad of control over the mighty vroom dawg 🤤 DB says a moment before passing out at the state of her walls and roof.

    Yes thx hun our bodies are settling. My hips eased a great deal tho at times still v.painful. We're into our last 2% ohh SO close Yay it was really upset. Anti inflams helping with head but a cracker 🤕 today. Only for 3 days then liver/kidneys need a blow. Only taking when I need. Head mostly. Great had a couple wks mostly clear till today 🤐

    I've been keeping updated at yours lovey bbs hoping ☺ oh loved the Kahlua cake thank yee mam.

    Hey Mrs 👩‍❤️‍👩 I hope today wasn't too taxing tho I suspect it probs was lovely one 🤗

    Thx sweet I've been ok till about 4ish days ago. Was a horrid depression most of the day and a little before that struth. Pulled in and out but no matter what I'm learning it took me by surprise. I knew it'd be MH. ? the extra walking bought it on. Not daily yet. The bigs are 1.8 km in 24-28 mins. Good pace. Youse would love it, not beach but large water area with a track gorgeous trees including paperbark. Bit furthers a boat ramp with a beaut ton of water too bbq's Pelicans. Going to include that into our walks later. Might go there for a change at times. There's a few nice houses areas too for changes. Beautiful this end too. Love living here but may not be able for much longer.

    I hope I might get away without too much down. V.tired of course. Been having some sleepers. Overall its v.mild but ick not feeling much mania. That's ok I can play with that way down the track to bring on more if need.

    NOT! going to buy packets of smokes anymore and boyo is it testing me. It's ok cause the craves pass. Had a couple when a friend came recently but didn't urge for more. May not have been quite in BP then I'd say.

    So happy with this beautiful dear love 😍 & this place but not trusting how long we'll have here after the yr. Here's sought after moreso with covid prices going nuts including rentals. It's a beautiful relaxed place

    Another Carbuncle same as last area. Cruel. Pains tolerable. Stronger meds hoping to sort them.

    Love to youse lovely friends. Thank you ☺

    4evs💜👩‍❤️‍👩🗯

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  10. Ggrand
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    12 December 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩,

    It warms my heart every time you say how happy you are with your beautiful dear love....knowing you have someone that loves and cares for you as you do him, makes me know that you are not alone....🤗🤗hugs to both of you..

    I think that a sudden down into a deeper depression is your ptsd triggering you in some way...has something happened to you on one of your walks that could have set it off...poor darling it’s so hard isn’t it...to manage our mental health...I think you are doing a great job with pulling out so quickly...you have come a long way since I first met you...I really am so proud of you...

    I wish so much that I could physically hand you a Christmas gift... but alas I cannot..so my imagination is going to be on something special from my soul to yours....I need to put on my thinking 🎩.....

    Oh talking about pelicans...I remember once you walked so far at your other place that you sort of got confused where you were and you saw a pelican their....I do like the beach, but a river with trees around it and a dock sounds absolutely amazing..My kind of spot....Have you and your love ever had a picnic their..it sounds like a beautiful peaceful spot that you could sit, watch the pelicans and have some lunch...Who knows, maybe if your lucky you might spit a Walrus on an escaped ice berg 😂😂..on a hot day you could chisel away some ice to put into a cold drink...😂😂....I pwomish not to tell anyone...

    Be careful Deebi...the lower the highs the less deeper we go....Get plenty of sleep and revitalise yourself as much as you can....Sleep I always believe is for our souls to take a rest and to help our body recharge itself...

    Thank you for your caring post at mine..your words helped me a lot....You are one incredibly beautiful bbff...I feel honoured that we have met and formed a beautiful spiritual bond...Love you so much.💚🦋🌹💭🧸🕊..

    Take it slow and easy and give yourself lots of self care...

    Love and hugs bbff and everyone...💜🤗🦋.

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..xx

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  11. Ggrand
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    15 December 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...

    I hope your okay....are you?

    No pressure to reply...

    Just wanted to let you know...

    You will always be the sister of my soul, and the friend of my heart....

    If you need to talk Deebi....I have my 👂 glued to the screen... my 👀 held open by tooth picks watching you...and my 🖐 is holding your hand 🤚....🤝..24/7....

    again precious friend no pressure...

    Love and hugs bbff..💚🧸..with peace 🕊.

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

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  12. demonblaster
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    15 December 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Hey darlin 👩‍❤️‍👩
    Love your caring beautiful posts & humour. Miss our mucking around

    😁 got pretty bamboozled on that BIG walk. Was wrecked but found steam to push on. Phew I had a sign to stopl thank goods. I heard the small voicel, We can build on that by hearing it not only the pain

    I WAS going so well this one. it was a silent mania with a couple of supremes.
    The rest was near unnoticeable you're so in the moment

    Had some 😭 hards. At least it clears a few beasty 💩 deposits

    Not depression. Huge call. if I could change just one thing it'd be not being so friggen sensitive yet many things are no probs. Head 👿for sale goin cheap
    This evil depressions getting me stronger. BP's a gift with a devils pricetag! Many may not believe in the devil which is their choice tho clearly there's evil
    I've faced IT several times & got thru- somehow.

    Still SO damned hard. At least yes thanks hun there's progress.

    I'd rather just not deal with anyone in these times not to say I dont have fun jokes convos happies

    True there's no words to explain the depths of pain. I'm starting to hear & learn from mania. Forgetting's a prob. It's teaching me how to get through. Exhaustion makes it so hard to apply/remember. it's had me long enough!! I'm starting to stand back up- slowly

    People hurt! They're hard work tool,. I'm not always an extrovert but usually comfy with people- till they start being arses or just thoughtless comments.

    Yikes near positive I had an hallucination a few days ago in mania. Make a good horror story. I realised it couldn't have been real.The anxiety rose fast to about my neck but stopped it & was calm. Type 2 can but 1's more likely

    Oh rage bloke a few mths ago on messenger contacted me. Doubt he'll change his thoughts about that but I too won't. Not the same but he seems willing to visit some time. I asked Mr 😍 if he's ok with that. Told him we started a bit of affection. He's ok 😍

    Soo pfftt recent so called besty I rang today about mil, I know he loves her. He's firm on no friendship. What slacks me is I didn't get a chance to say my bit. The other pftt one wronged me severely!

    No wonder I don't have a lot of faith in yeah right close friendships or people either Grandy I know how u feel. I'm ok but do miss them both. Real friends get past rot.

    Mr D😍 had ? another petty (sp) mal or ? onset of dementia or both. Positive no hallucination. Goin to look into.

    Beautiful words ty hun ditto. You move me 👩‍❤️‍👩💜

    Deep love (DL) 🦋✨🤝🌈



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  13. demonblaster
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    17 December 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hi 👩‍❤️‍👩 and readers ☺

    Yesterday I woke after a glorious sleep. A lot more's needed on the way to recovery

    Hoped the thigh bizzo had gone. Hard walking but short stops help & If it's severe a few times. Mainly settles on the way or back

    Only had the shorter walk in about a wk and a half. Want to. but a mild painful back out.
    Could just walk after getting up a few days. Settled within a couple of hrs mainly.

    Tho movement creates energy it for me can bring mania back which we knows even better than chocolate 🍫 ...😲 but takes longer to recover esp when in or close to exhaustion.
    Yes Grandy the higher is harder to handle & with extra manias in an episode.

    In mania I got past several hard food/smoke craves. Again was aware of allowing myself to talk myself into smokes. Only 3 pkts this time. Way better than other times.
    I'm confident next one I'll not cave in.

    Lost 3 of 5 kgs I put back on. Hym but how. Many know of some very hard downs of binge eating. It's energy we need, comfort food & letting our internal brat have IT's way.

    I nearly got through this relatively unscathed.
    A few hards & even stopped a few v.strong mood drops that were sinking me instantly. Mania helped

    While coming down had a very hard convo re dear mil which plummetted the downs. Big sads. In mania I had acceptance

    She's failing 24/7 care now. Still some goods I hear but SO hard
    Empathising with poor sil losing her best friend/Mum & the strain of being one of her carers too was hard

    I've been driving again lately going well.
    I avoid in BP but can if need be.
    Mania's not a prob for me it's the down side.
    I havent yet gone further than the next suburb 15 mins away

    Wasn't going for Xmas, thought for a bit after & having it with besty here which we still will. Her first without her late love. Sad

    I couldn't live with myself if I don't see her before her time. Been grieving for her since my late love.
    I can/have driven often there & will be ok. Should be out of mh then.
    We'ld go for 3ish hrs. Bout an hr drive

    Finances is one of the reasons.
    So often on xmas day there was little traffic so going to avoid certain times if we do go then

    Some other family have/going too for same reasons

    Geesh Mr 😍 bestys/my good friend too has the cancer back he had before this last bout. Damn it!
    Let's hope he can beat this lot too. Poor fellad

    Eternal love Mrs Grandy Floss. Those beautiful soul/heart words they went deep where you are in my 💜👩‍❤️‍👩 goin to sleep again soon








  14. demonblaster
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    18 December 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    There's a place your head can take you that puts you in the center of the pits of the deepest Blackest darkest place on this Earth.

    A 4 hr sleep yesterday awoke with that inside me. It's break through sleep I've had this before and heard here of same for some.

    I couldnt shake it but was able to leave it there at times.

    Had to get out. That restlessness feeling in the chest. ? Anxiety. Feels like its in the Solar plexis.

    Walked to shops slowly with stops cause of the thighs.

    We had takeaways. Ate in then walked home in the dark. Not far about 10 mins each way.

    IT hovered til sleep. Still waking early but a sleeper gave me more 💤 woke a bit teary but slightly better.

    Headaches intermittently over 5 days. They're instant if my heads not in the right place on the pillow. Come on in seconds

    Backs easing, not 100% yet but on its way.

    I've said over the time here there's two stages to mania.

    There's two with this depression too. The usual is incredibly deep & very hard! I'm just starting to crack the surface handling it which at this stage is not letting it take me to suicide. It's an option in this depth that I haven't entertained much as such by not thinking about it. Often it's a choice in the background.

    This deeper again that you don't thinks possible is a place my god what words could explain it. Nada.

    I thought and how but without the want or further thought

    Crying in bits. Happies will come I still have them

    I do/dont like people anymore. Don't want to argue will if I have to but many give me the toots. I would them too probs at times. I get on with most well. It's BP

    I'm seeing their bad points easier. For yrs I only saw their goods and wore the bad points. Easy target ?

    I felt ganged up on here once with a few people disagreeing but it's true. We and I'm to blame as well as much as I try so hard and detest myself let out our problems on other people. It hurts others especially sensitive people. This isn't everyone but how often do you hear if you have an aplology sorry I'm tired/stressed or they won't say that they simply don't give a toss!

    I'm ok, can & do function fine-laughing even happy but tiredness let alone extreme & exhaustions energy pulls us down.

    The head stops working in parts. Memories a shocker. Reading old notes with unpacking, it was wrecked then too.

    Teary today. Maybe more sleep if I can rid this 🤕 Had a 2/3 wk break otherwise most days or catch it early with meds or no pillow laying on my back

    Thanks 👩‍❤️‍👩💜

  15. Sophie_M
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    18 December 2021 in reply to demonblaster
    Hey Demonblaster, 
    Thanks for reaching out today,

    We're so sorry to hear how awful you've been feeling over the past day. We can imagine functioning on only 4 hours of sleep must have you feeling really low. Please know that we are listening and it's there's anything else you'd like to share we are here for you. 
    It might also be a good time to check in with a mental health professional. We would  recommend that you get in contact with our friendly counsellors at the Beyond Blue Support Service, available 24/7 on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST here: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport 

    Please keep us updated on how you're going when you feel up to it, 
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  16. demonblaster
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    18 December 2021 in reply to Sophie_M

    Many thanks Sophie.

    I'm ok and able to function mostly to a degree minus a few cognitives periodically in the really hard times even yesterday.

    Was just saying as well as I can how it is. Hell and beyond but it does pass eventually. No stranger to it all unfortunately

    Do appreciate here and your help too.

    Thanks ☺

  17. Ggrand
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    18 December 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...

    Im sorry that your crying today...also I feel I let you down by not replying last night as I said I would.

    Bbff....honey, please ring the support line that our beautiful Sophie has given you..if you need to...Gee I wish you could phone me...I’m certain that we would win the Guinness book of world records as to how long we would talk for.😂😂😂.

    BP cycles does that to us...Liking but not liking people...if you know what I mean....Sometimes we just have enough of all the drama and bands that people can cause for us....and we get done with them for a while...until our soul and heart heals a bit...

    Awe Deebi, memories are hard to manage aren’t they...well the bad ones are...These are the ones that needs to be vaulted and never unlocked.....ha look who’s talking, Um, I think I’m one of the worse managers of bad memories...

    Darl, when bad memories come to the surface, it’s best to do something ASAP to stop them....If I listened right, you reading old notes, pulled you down...My counsellor told me if I read something that pull me into PTSD....then immediately to find something pleasant to read...do you have something uplifting to read, to help you wipe out the feelings that encased you?...one of our many posts of beautiful adventures we had. and will...Deendy has been hibernating way to long...Maybe if we throw some cold water over it, it might wake our magical dragon.

    Please be okay Deebi....I can’t do this on my own, we need each other..👭🤝....SSS 4 EVA....and your/our Mr. Beautiful needs to too.

    Bbff....exhaustion caused by lack of sleep, can really pull us down so much.....Not long ago I was sticking to my sleep routine and felt better for it....lately with so much going on, I’ve stopped my routine and feel worse for it...um just gently asking if one of the first things you do, when in BP is to keep a sleep routine going.

    So very true Deebi...Just like the clouds... those black menacing clouds are formed by anger, depression, anxiety etc...then when they can’t hold onto the pain they are feeling.....they cry...release their tears by way of rain....then after the tears of rain, which has released their bad and helped their soul heal a little....The beautiful sun comes out shining brightly..

    I’m just going to sit with you today, and hold your hand, letting my soul spirit sister feel all the care and love I have for you...my most precious bbff....👂🤝💨🌧🌥🌦🌤..🌈.

    Everlasting 24 hour hugs...Bbff 🤗.

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy

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  18. demonblaster
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    18 December 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Dear Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 hi readers

    Thank you dear love please don't feel you let me down. Seriously you never could.
    I often have every intention of posting & same.
    You've said to me "I know you're reading". I know you will when you can hun 😚
    You're a CC with others to support too amidst your own mh. No probs

    Some things I can do & say are close to normal, others in mh nah/v.hard
    I proof read a few times but wasn't clear.
    Meant to say had another arvo sleep of 4 hrs.
    The past 2 + wks with sleepers even in this mild mania give me about 4-6 hrs if they work.
    S.times I shouldn't play poker & don't go back to bed when it starts working. Mania says stay up. Not pokies since b4

    Yip Lack of sleep in poor mh screws with our heads adding to it all. W.Knight did a good post on Pauls liking yourself thread

    Other times I've woken feeling worse than the deep depression.

    I've read at times depression often comes before an episode.
    I have it both sides or restlessness. Always afters harder

    May have been a ptsd down darl but nothing seemed to trigger.

    I pushed through extreme tired doing a bigger walk earlier in mania which probs added to exhaustion but gave me energy. Learnt from that. If need it'll be a shorter one

    Some goods. I've had considerably less memories/scenarios. Caught stopped & rationalized.
    Huge boom stopping the mood drops going further.

    Geesh all at a heavy price tho we're bloody veterans at this Grandz. We're making progress is what counts.

    I'll try to stick to sleep times bout 10pm now days just gotta tell mania 😅

    Probs couldn't have explained yesterday how deep it was & guessing they'd want me to go on meds. Tbh today I even considered them 😲
    How will I ever get stronger if I don't keep at it & I'm making progress.
    None have worked yet too. Told that to many deaf ears over the yrs.

    Oh darl it really does put a dark light on people. True and well put until our soul & heart heals. More sleep heals too

    Thx I'll go to our good times. Have so many more to put in my folder.

    You're brilliant at wording Grandz great analogy about the clouds.
    Loven your funny bits too 🤣

    Thank you for being such a beautiful caring loving soul. You're the best of the best ever 💜 I spoke to other bbff she was fine with that. She also has a top besty like you to me. I'm so ok with that and am one of her tops too.You'd love her and ditto.

    😂 re talking on phone. I reckon eh 😀

    YAdimh and 🗯 Always deepest love 👩‍❤️‍👩💜✨⚘🌈








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  19. Ggrand
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    19 December 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hi, my bbff...👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

    i haven’t asked you yet....I don’t think?....What are doing Christmas Day?....any special plans...I’m going next door to Mrs NSC for lunch...which I was looking forward too...that is until today...She has also invited her other neighbour...I think I mentioned him before....I don’t like what he talks about..always politics or COVID or more politics..and she has also invited the lady that was renting this house before I bought it...unfortunately she is an alcoholic ....with language that is unacceptable to me.....

    Now I cannot get out of going..unless I lie and say I’m sick....but I hate to be dishonest...I put myself into another crappy position.....sigh...

    Anyway, it’s not Christmas Day yet....

    Meds are not for everyone Deebi, it took 5 different ant depressives until they got the right one for me, still depression hits hard when PTSD triggers down me....There’s no meds to take memories away, so depression from downers is a life time thing for me.....in between triggers, my meds take the outer hard edge of depression...and make it manageable...I feel it’s up to the individual if they want to try meds or not....They are not a magic cure....and we still have to work at our wellness...

    Very good girl 🍭 for distracting those bad memories and letting them pass through....That’s something that I find hard to do....The more we practice the better we get...🥵

    Oh, your 🎄 🎁...is out of my thoughts and into my work bench...got my tools out ✂️🧵🧶✂️ 💫🌍..and all ready to go....haha...no guessing allowed..

    Thank you saying I didn’t let you down...I started feeling so guilty after I said I would .....24/7/365..Eternal love & care, (24/7/365EL&C)...bbff....💚🕊🤗🦋🌹🧸..

    Grandy👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..

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  20. Paw Prints
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    22 December 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Deebi, wave to Mr Deebi,

    Oh lass you are doing it tough aren't you... I can't begin to understand what it is like having bp... I do hear your deep pain & exhaustion lass... I wish I could offer some helpful thoughts on what you could to make it easier for you...

    Lass I hope you don't mind me say something I think might be adding to your down without you being consciously aware of it... I know you are aware on a conscious level about how you feel with your much loved mil failing... but I do think that there is also another unconscious level of sorrow which is affecting you... being that link that ties her with your late love... she is a connection to him... someone who remembers him... I know how important it is for us humans to still have people in our life who also remember those we have lost... losing them & that link is a double loss.

    I really hope the Drs are able to quickly help Mr Deebi finds out what is causing his head issues... when I started having episodes of not recognising/knowing things for brief (minutes only) periods in my late 40s it was very scary... thankfully they were able to diagnose epilepsy brief absence seizures with the memory loss just being part of my coming out of it... since we found a med that works I've not had anymore... I will keep everything crossed that he can quickly have an answer & successful treatment like I did.

    Just wondering... would having a neck/shoulder massage help with the headaches?... or would it be more likely to make it worse?

    Woofa sends friendly supportive snuffles & here are some big hugs from me

    Paws

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  21. Ggrand
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    24 December 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Paws and everyone....❤️💚🤗.

    I hope you are okay Deebi...Whatcha been up to dear friend...

    Wanted to call in and wish you a very calm peaceful Christmas Eve.....Gee it’s been a while since I had dinner with you...To save you from cooking I made a yummy large macaroni and cheese...I will admit that I do make a mean Mac n cheese...with tomatoes, bacon, pasta and cheeses, cheese and more cheese baked in the oven until the cheese on top has little peaks of brown crusting on it....Then we can wash it down with an iced mint tea....and of course some red and green jelly with custard poured all over it.....

    I have been so very busy making your Christmas 🎄 gift...

    I took a copy of your gorgeous happy avatar...then I traced it onto a piece of pure white silk and I asked the stars for some spun golden thread, in the colours of your avatar...violet, blue, aqua, green, yellow and red...then black and gold..

    I embroidered the pattern of your avatar with the finest stitches I could..including the eyes and giant happy smile...I then stitched a golden border around it...placed it on a mirror with a light attached behind it...so when your feeling down or in the nighttime when you can’t sleep, you switch on the light and all the beautiful colours begin floating all around your room playing the most beautiful music that you can ever imagine...music of the angels...gentle, calming and fill your room with a warm glow..until it reaches into your soul to give you the most serene feeling ever...Its an everlasting present, that can be used anytime you want to, if you want to feel my love and care for you..just softly whisper Grandy...and my spirit will immediately be with you...to sit next to you with an open heart and soul....

    Merry Christmas my dearest ever bbff....I so wish we could spend it together...💚❤️🎄🎄💚❤️..

    Merry Christmas everyone...💚❤️🎄💚❤️🎄..

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

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  22. demonblaster
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    24 December 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Hey dear Pawsy 🐾 and my bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩

    Thank you for your beautiful posts. I will bbl to reply pawsy and my lovely besty bbff ever that was absolutely gorgeous than you. Love it heaps.

    Oh struth your prezzy is still in the work shop ☺ thats my head btw or should I say 🙃 my gorgeous. I'll try to give it to you tomoz but know you're in my heart never to leave and 🗯 how often daily. You too are in my soul precious friend 🤗

    Oh Grandz if you knew how much I too wish we had it togeather It'd be amazing.

    Phoo still working on getting outta this one it turned into a doozy! Cried a bit today but good now.

    Buying a mower off other besty but it didn't start, introduced myself to new neighbours borrowed theirs and did theirs too. I enjoy mowing.

    Walked with Mr Deebi 😍 oh he's sweet. I loved a handbag but atm they're not doin laybye the precious lent me the money. I owe him so much and he did that the gorgeous & hes struggling too. LOVE IT pockets everywhere.

    Playing a lot of poker safe place until I defend others or myself at times. Talked one bloke down then we got on well and he did a friend request yeah right I know he's a pratt but ok otherwise but nah. Yeah good on him.

    Lost a couple kg's so nearly back there but being oh So nortee!

    Grandy enjoy your time at mrs nsc but not sounding at all ideal. What a shame darlin.

    Headaches galore not bad today but having more than not tho a couple wks were ok. Sigh hope yours are settling.

    Huge love and hugs 😚🍫⚘💗🗯👩‍❤️‍👩🤝✨🌈

    Oh oh yum feed tooo. I want some Grandy 😓

    Oh goin church with Mr 😍 tomoz then see his besty/my good friend we're unsure how he'll go this time with the big mongrel C. Was so torn wanting to see mil tomoz but will soonish. Covid here now knew it would with holidays and there too. We didnt have any! Was a close call once but ok I think.

    If I don't get prezzy tomoz to you it's on it's way presh.

    Lol love this abbreviated word for jealous is Jelly lol.

    Pawsy much love too and wishing every lovely here happiness safety and thank you for all your amazing support especially you my champion of champions. Proud of you dear friend.

    👩‍❤️‍👩💜🐾💗💤✨🌈🍫

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  23. Croix
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    24 December 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Dear DB~

    Although I tease you over my iceberg I think you are an example to us all of living with and overcoming adversity - while keeping a sense of humor.

    May I wish you a peaceful and pain-free Christmas 🎄 and a truly great year ahead

    Croix

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  24. Paw Prints
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    25 December 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Ho Ho Ho... Bahh Humbug... & all such yuletide greetings...

    I hope you & Mr Deebi have a relaxing Christmas Day with lots of love & laughter...

    Ear snuffles from Woofa (when he wakes up) & Chrissy hugs from me

    Paws

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  25. demonblaster
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    25 December 2021 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hey there dear Croixy 🐧 Pawsy 🐾 and Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩

    Thank you all for your beautiful visits.

    Hope your days are lovely and having plenty of quality chocolate 🍫

    Love to furs 🤗💗

    Been sleeping a lot today needing it.

    Be safe all ☺

    Huge love Grandy 🤗👩‍❤️‍👩💜🍫🗯⚘🤝✨🌈

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  26. Paw Prints
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    30 December 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Deebi, wave to Mr Deebi,

    How are you doing lass?.. I hope you have managed to organise a time for you to visit your mil & that you are feeling well enough to travel that far..

    I do worry about how draining all your headaches must be for you... I'm not surprised you need so much sleep lass... do be gentle with yourself...

    If you are looking for those kilos you lost I have plenty spare that I'm happy to give away... lol

    Hugs

    Paws

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  27. Ggrand
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    31 December 2021 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Beautiful Deebi 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Paws and everyone....🤗..

    How you going my #1 bbff....I hope you are okay, well a lot better then okay ..🤗💚..

    Thank you for your inspirational post at mine...

    I did see the most beautiful sunset ever today..so many different colours in the clouds from a dark grey which turned into a deep purple with lighter shades of purple and over to the left, the clouds were a peaceful pinky reddish colour, kind of like streaked across the sky, not that puffy really, like someone decided to do long brush strokes with different shades of colours...I wish you were with me....I took a hot car cup of tea with me and a tiny piece of Christmas Cake....I received in a small food hamper from work...l

    Our 2 fur babies were sitting 🤔...nope playing in the back seat with a new toy they got from Santa...It’s a really soft rubber duck 🦆, white, yellow and grey with a squeaky gadget inside...haha they were having fun...by growling and jumping around...one was on the floor the other on the seat trying to play tug-o-war...a couple of times they both ended up on the floor...I never get tired of their antics, but it was hard to divert my eyes of them onto the horizon..

    The mountains reach the sky, and I can see gullies where the water flows down after a rainfall, there’s even a dirt track up the mountain..maybe it’s a trail made by our kangaroos 🦘....I did see a few grazing on the grass, as well as some cattle laying around a small watering hole (Dam)...Birds flying in the sky added a special touch to the picture Mother Nature showed us tonight...

    Tomorrow...Well, What is Tomorrow...It’s a NEW YEAR 🎉🎊🎐...didn’t that come around fast 💨...but not as fast as your 🔥 🏍...We must really clean out our 💼 soon...Geez no good using last year’s gadgets...time for an update especially since I added extra rooms....a new ladder is definitely required as well as new escalators..l

    If I don’t get back in tonight bbff....I would like to wish you a very special and peaceful year next year..Oh that’s only 2.5 hours away...😂😂..

    Love you deep bbff, 💚🧸🤗...Love our 🕰 time together, and our furs 🐕🐩🐆🐅, Love our bag 💼, and gadgets, love our imagination....our friends 👬..

    Love, hugs and kind thoughts everyone..💜🧸🤗..

    🎊🎉HAPPY NEW YEAR🎉🎊....everyone..

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

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  28. Ggrand
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    5 January 2022 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Beautiful Deebi 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..

    I really hope you’re doing okay....(are you?)...No pressure honey...

    I wanted to give you a gorgeous bunch of jonquils...with a little surprise that’s hidden deep inside the wrapping amongst the stalks or stems...not sure what their called 😂😂😂...It’s a cute little crystal ball 🔮...If you can hang it where the sun shines inside your home...it will catch the sun’s rays and give you a beautiful display of illuminating dancing colour dots all around your home....You don’t have to do anything....except to sit back and watch the lights and feel the peace that nature has brought you inside,,,through the sun ☀️....

    Love you bbff...please be gentle, kind, caring towards yourself...💚🧸🤗🔮🌈🔮🌹.

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

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  29. demonblaster
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    5 January 2022 in reply to Ggrand

    Hey my gorjy bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 Mr Croixy 🐧 Pawsy 🐾 and if readers 👋

    You're all lovely good caring people giving your time and support I really do appreciate ☺ and will definately bbl replying.

    Yes and no not at all in reply to your caring question Grandy love if I'm ok.

    Sheez this has been a very hard at times bloody long stint. I was aware about 3 ish eves ago posting a fair bit thinking hymm 🤔 ? another mania that by all accounts after definately was! We asked Mr Deebis besty to meet if he was up to at maccas which he did because we could but was tricky seeing him new years eve and wanted to not be neglecting him esp going through the chemo and cancer with an unknown future. During that get together wow what a nasty mood drop. I couldn't shake it but no one knew till later. Wow I felt horrible like really bad underneath. Beasty at IT's best I tell ya. Unsure how but came good later. Also did an allniter which wasn't planned that added to my tiredness which I'm still coming out of but slowly coming back to normal but today was a fair whack of crying and just over it but I'm ok thanks hun 🤗 and getting there.

    Pokers been a comfort zone and sometimes hrs others a shorter time (working on that so I get other things done).

    On a lighter note we're right into chai lattes apart from a bit naughty and mmm yummo cinnamon they're sposed to be quite healthy with various other spices. These are cheap as in Coles (brand) under $4 for 10 satches already with milk powder. So cheap and SO yum.

    Will be back loves and to your threads near future. Have been reading so pretty much up to date ☺

    So much love precious bbff always 9h and loving our memories in your lovely as always posts. Thank you for that gorgeous ball 😂 not knowing what they are. You're a classic honeyheart 🤗🤗🤗 hope you're ok. 👩‍❤️‍👩💜👀🤝🐧🐾🦄🗯😷🐶⚘

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  30. Ggrand
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    6 January 2022 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello Beautiful Deebi 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, and everyone....l🤗..

    I think that was very lovely of you, inviting Mr Deebi’s besty to Mac Donald’s ...Sounds like you’re having some mixed emotions within your cycle..and believe me that’s okay...please don’t feel about the mood drop...if you were in a normal cycle, that probably wouldn’t have happened....Bi Polar as you know, first hand can be ever changing from north to south...Its something that is very hard to manage...if it’s manageable at all....Mr Deebi and his besty are certain to understand because they know the beautiful, caring, compassionate real you.....

    Crying, as horrible as it is...giving us sore red stingy eyes, head aches, sore throat, red nose...I really am sorry honey and wish I could be there for you, with our cloud ☁️ soft eye cloth...If you can, keep giving your face a nice rinse in cold/cool water...to help keep your body temperature down...

    Yes I feel this mania, either came along quickly since your last one or it’s lingering around in a mixed episode...I hope so much that this passes for you really soon....It will pass bbff...just like the waters of a flowing river, changes and moves forward..always forward bbff...Hmm have you ever seen a river flow backwards?...nope..always forward, precious bbff...you are like the water flowing, sometimes it flows slowly, sometimes it flows quickly...but forever changing,,,

    Oh Chia Latte, I had my first one at Mc Donalds...Ohhh they are so yummy...I buy those spiced chia tea sachets from Coles...yes they are healthy for us...

    Take your time replying to mine...your mh is more important that posting at mine...or replying to me here..,

    24/7 you are in my thoughts with a spiritual love that cannot be broken...✨💚☀️✨🔮🕊... gentle bear hugs 🧸🤗🤗..with some chocolate 🍫....I put a chocolate factory on the 1st floor of our 💼...1st floor...because well...why not?...easier to get to 😂😂😂😂..

    Hugs beautiful people..🧸🤗, with love and care💜🌹💚👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

    👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...

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