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Forums / PTSD & Trauma / My Darling Dog Will Be Euthenized Soon

Topic: My Darling Dog Will Be Euthenized Soon

  1. mmMekitty
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    15 January 2022 in reply to Panicmerchant

    How distressing this is for you & your dog. No words feel adequate. I'm so very sad & sorry both of you are struggling so much. Clearly you love your dog, & it seems your dog keeps trying, even while enduring so much pain & distress.

    I'm hoping you both can endure a little longer, to see if your dog does start to respond better to the medication. If not, I guess it's back to the vet.

    Again, I'm sorry I can't offer more than my deepest sympathy for what you are going through.

    mmMekitty

    1 person found this helpful
  2. missep123
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    16 January 2022 in reply to Panicmerchant

    Hi Panicmerchant,

    I am so sorry to hear that. A few days have passed since your last post, how is she?

    I really hope the medication will help eventually but in the meantime I can understand how distressing it must be to see her not in her usual state

    1 person found this helpful
  3. Panicmerchant
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    148 posts
    16 January 2022

    Hi Everyone

    Thankyou for your kind responses.

    By Friday morning she was really bad. I rang all the vets and there were no vacancies nor home visits available. I kept her calm and hand fed and hand watered her. My son and I managed to get her bed outside in the garden so she could have some fresh air.

    I rang a mobile vet who managed to get here around 3.30 pm. As I was outlining the symptoms and the dreadful night we had; she had another episode. He immediately said 'she is having a seizure' and gave her some medication to stop it. When it was over he checked her eyes with a torch and said " I am so sorry; she is blind; she has had a major brain injury/possible brain tumour. The kindest thing to do for her is to put her to sleep". So we cleaned her up and I sang to her whilst he sent her to heaven. He was a sweet, lovely and kind man and I am only glad that it happened here with him. He took her and I will receive her ashes next week :(

    I am totally heartbroken, devastated and besides myself. How could I not realise that the 'episodes' were seizures? How did not one vet recognise this? She suffered needlessly due to lack of concern by everyone I was begging for answers from! I am furious at myself! Furious at the other vets! My beloved girl did not need to go through all of that horror!

    I miss her so so much. I feel sick I feel totally over it all. She was my best friend. I also feel terrible guilt as I should've trusted my instincts! I also feel a sense of relief that it is finally over! That is a terrible thing to feel! I feel like a horrible person because at some times I was getting frustrated and impatient with the poor darling soul! I deserve everything I get!!!

  4. Matchy69
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    16 January 2022 in reply to Panicmerchant

    My heart goes out to you for your lost.I know the pain you have been growing through and hoped for a happy outcome for you.Your beloved dog is out of pain and has to suffer no more.Remember the great life you gave her and the love you both shared.It will be hard for you for awhile and you will miss her so much and shed plenty of tears which is ok to do.Let the grieving process happen and grieve in your own way.Their is no particular way to grieve.

    If you need to talk I will be around .

    Take care,

    Mark.

    1 person found this helpful
  5. Sophie_M
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    16 January 2022 in reply to Panicmerchant
    Hey Panicmerchant,

    Thank you for updating us on your situation. We are so sorry to hear about the passing of your beloved dog. We understand how difficult it must've been to say goodbye and what a sad time this is for you. It sounds like you did so much for her and were so attentive to her needs. It's normal to feel some frustration and relief and try not to judge yourself for this. We can hear a very loving and kind owner.  When you feel up to it, you might like to contact griefline. They are available 6am to midnight (AEST) via phone (1300 845 745) or on webchat. They also have a Care-to-Call line and offer support groups. You might also want to read or engage in their Pet Bereavement Online Forum: https://griefline.org.au/online-forums/forum/loss-of-a-pet/

    Please know we are here for you panicmerchant and our thoughts are with you, 
    1 person found this helpful
  6. Panicmerchant
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    148 posts
    16 January 2022 in reply to Matchy69

    Dear Mark

    Thankyou. I am just so lost. Everywhere I turn there is evidence of my darling, Her sweet fur; her toys; food....it is the worst. I have a friend who owns two dogs whom I love; I babysat them over Xmas. I will be giving them all of my darling's belongings and I will be taking them on as stepdoggies . She works FIFO so one week out of two they are home alone from 5 am until 4pm when their Dad comes home . I will be going to see them everyday and walking them. That is one saviour to come out of this as when my Darling was here I couldn't manage all 3 of them.

    xx

  7. Panicmerchant
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    148 posts
    16 January 2022 in reply to Sophie_M

    Thankyou dear Sophie

    I just wish I had not been so easily led by everyone. I have been taking her to the vets for over three weeks saying I know she is really unwell. They kept on doing more tests and giving more medication If I had just gone with my instincts my darling would not have had to go through the horror that she did. If it weren't for this group; you and the others and the wonderful vet who actually realised what was going on I would've lost all faith in everything by now.

    I am going to be looking after my friend's beautiful dogs whilst she is away (FIFO). Her partner is home with them overnight but they are alone from 5 am until 4pm when she is away. I love them so. I met them two years ago when they moved here and the monkeyheads escaped and ended up at my house! Since then I have babysat them and they are absolutely darling. They will restore my faith I am sure.

    xxx

    1 person found this helpful
  8. mmMekitty
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    16 January 2022 in reply to Panicmerchant

    I'm so sorry to hear your dog has died. I'm glad you were there, with her & helped right up until the end. You've done so much, you've been doing everything you could.

    You're not a vet, so no one would expect you to know any better what was going on more than they did. How vets figure out what is happening is so very difficult sometimes. Our furry friends can't directly tell us anything, & instinctually don't want to show what is going on very much either.

    I remember feeling as you are now, thinking how impatient I was toward my cat while she must have been feeling so sick. I simply didn't realise the changes in her behaviour could have been signs of illness. Even her usual vet hadn't seen anything to alert us to her serious condition. We all did the best we could.

    When Mekitty died, & I had all her things around, I was torn between removing the things, putting them away somewhere, or giving them away, or keeping them, because I was so unwilling to let her go, & removing her things was too much for me.

    I did eventually remove larger items, but have kept some small things. I have her ashes in a seald bowl, with her little mice, (sans tails) next to it. Sometimes I reach up & pat the bowl, or show someone her mice. Sometimes I still might take the bowl down & cradle it, have yet another cry, because I still miss her.

    Once upon a time I would have fought & denied these emotions, but now I know all the various emotions awe may feel are okay, normal & natural. & it's easier to accept them than to fight & deny them.

    There is no time limit, no set stages or expectations for what you will feel or for how long you will grieve. That phone number Sophie_M has given you sounds like a really good idea. Keep it handy, eh? I wish I'd had it when Mekitty died. I never even thought to search out anyone to talk to, other than my Psychiatrist. & without him , I would have had to chance people I was unsure about.

    I think. even if it proves to be very emotional, looking after & walking your friend's dogs could be very good for you. That friend trusts you - you're not all that bad. 😸

    mmMekitty

    2 people found this helpful
  9. Matchy69
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    16 January 2022 in reply to Panicmerchant

    It is hard seeing all your dog's things and does bring on the realisation of what has happened to your beloved dog.You can keep somethings that remind you of her and it is nice you can give other items to to your friend for their dogs.Spending more time with hear dogs might help with the healing process for your grief you are going through.Just give yourself time and is ok to cry and be upset.

    Take care,

    Mark.

    2 people found this helpful
  10. smallwolf
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    16 January 2022 in reply to Panicmerchant

    Hi. Losing a pet is a very sad and upsetting time. Last year on Anzac Day we had to put our cat down. Old and no longer able to walk it seemed the most humane thing.

    A pet is like a member of the family. Today when I leave the front door open I still think he will run out the door. Becomes part of your life. I can also remember the happy times.

    I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Over time things will get a little easier and remember the people here care about you and what you are going through.

    2 people found this helpful
  11. blondguy
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    17 January 2022 in reply to Panicmerchant

    Hello PM

    I can feel your pain even though I didnt know 'slabrador'

    She will always be wonderful.....nothing can change that...ever

    my heartfelt condolences and hugs

    Paul

    2 people found this helpful
  12. geoff
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    17 January 2022 in reply to Panicmerchant

    Hello PM, my heart goes out to you and sincerely so sorry this happened, if only our pets could tell us what's wrong, but if this did happen, it would be much more difficult when their time had come.

    There is nothing anyone can do to ease our pain, although we appreciate their help and we thank them for doing so, but our distress only goes away with time, but we never ever forget them and their own particular idiosyncrasies.

    My deepest sorrow for you.

    Geoff.

    3 people found this helpful
  13. Panicmerchant
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    148 posts
    19 January 2022 in reply to blondguy

    Dear Paul

    Thankyou. She was such a darling, gentle, affectionate soul. I am absolutely gutted without her .

    She was the best Slabrador in the World xxx

    2 people found this helpful
  14. Panicmerchant
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    148 posts
    19 January 2022

    I have just posted reviews on the two vet clinics involved in this disaster. I do not feel bad for doing so. They just palmed me off over and over and cost me a fortune; all for my poor beloved to suffer and die anyway.

    I have lost all faith in vets and will never get another dog as I can't see another animal suffer the way my dogs have over the past with misdiagnosis...zero care factor and the constant need for further 'testing' ($$$).

    Needless to say I will not be a popular person but I truly don't care. What my darling (and I ) went through was beyond appalling. Not one of those so called professionals checked her eyes or mentioned brain injury although I had suggested it many times. All they want is $ As usual this world revolves around it and I truly hate it all. This World sucks.

    1 person found this helpful
  15. Panicmerchant
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    148 posts
    19 January 2022

    Further to latest post I am incredibly upset. I am sick to death of people not recognising how special dogs are. How much they are loved. Losing her was like losing a child.

    I am totally over everyone. Present company excepted of course. I don't care anymore but I have to be here for my son. Other than him...I don't care at all.

    1 person found this helpful
  16. Sophie_M
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    19 January 2022 in reply to Panicmerchant
    Hi Panicmerchant,

    Thank you for sharing here. We’re sorry to hear you’re not feeling heard or supported by those around you. The loss of a pet can be truly devastating, please know that we’re here for you.

    We are reaching out to you privately, and you can reach us directly on 1300 22 4636 or online.

    Maybe you’d like to share with the community any ideas you’ve had to help remember or commemorate Slabrador?

    Kind regards,

    Sophie M
    1 person found this helpful
  17. Matchy69
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    19 January 2022 in reply to Panicmerchant

    Hi Panicmerchant I am really sorry for the way the vet didn't treat your dog properly.That is really terrible.I have had that experience to years ago when I told the vet I didn't have much money and the vet said to me you know you have to pay the consultation fee today.Where has the compassion gone from this caring profession?.Today I don't need to sorry so much about money but I certainly want my pet treated and diagnosed the best they can do.I just spent $900 on my daughter's cat at an emergency vet that's not my regular vet due it being at night time I had to go there.Her cat is going to be ok and found out it was an infection from another cat fight and know my regular vet would have charged no where that amount.

    I hope one day you can get yourself another a pet as they bring you so much love and joy.I know you need time for it to heal.

    Take care,

    Mark.

    2 people found this helpful
  18. Panicmerchant
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    148 posts
    20 January 2022 in reply to Sophie_M

    Thankyou dear Sophie

    I have arranged to have a large print made of my darling girl; the picture is lovely. Her smiling amongst field of flowers. I will be getting her ashes back soon. When they come we will have a ceremony for her. xx

    1 person found this helpful
  19. Panicmerchant
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    20 January 2022 in reply to Matchy69

    Dear Mark

    I am sorry you too had that experience. Again, lucky I have the money or I do not know what would have happened. It is the principle of the thing. Vets are supposed to care not just make money out of our and our pets misery :(

    I don't know about getting another one. I truly don't have any faith left and couldn't go through this again. For what it is worth I had a similar experience in Dec 2019 with my other beloved pooch. He went through unnecessary hell for 3 weeks just to be euthenised anyway :( He had lymphoma. Hindsight is a great thing. With both of my darlings I should have had them put to sleep when I felt it was time; not be led down the garden path by the vets!

  20. mmMekitty
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    20 January 2022 in reply to Panicmerchant

    Hello,

    I would like to tell you that here on BB, in the BB Social Zone section, there is a Thread called:

    PETS - gotta love them! Share funny, loving stories about pets and animals.

    Sorry, I can't make a direct link to the Thread.

    I've written some memories I have of my cat, as a way of honouring her, & have posted some there to share with others. In this way, others get to know a little of Mekitty, as I had known her.

    I feel, just from what you've said here in your Thread, I've have begun to know what a wonderfully loyal & sensitive dog yours was, as much a best friend as anyone could want.

    mmMekitty

    1 person found this helpful
  21. Panicmerchant
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    148 posts
    20 January 2022 in reply to mmMekitty

    You are very kind; thankyou! I will definitely have a look. I would love to hear about darling Mekitty and others xxx Yes my darling was hilarious in many ways. She truly was an angel in a fur coat.

    Thanks so much for your support xxx

    1 person found this helpful
  22. Panicmerchant
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    20 January 2022

    I couldn't sleep (again) and decided to delete my reviews on the vet's websites. Not that I forgive them. More that I realise it is not doing me any good and won't change anything.

    Needless to say today I received a sympathy card from one of the clinics....Murphy's Law!

    I am still totally aghast at the bulls... 'treatment' of my beloved but there is no point in going on about it. It won't bring her back.

    1 person found this helpful
  23. Matchy69
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    20 January 2022 in reply to Panicmerchant

    I am sorry you had a sleepless night but that is to be expected.Their is so much you are going through from the pain of losing your beloved dog to the anger of the treatment of her.I don't blame you for leaving a negative review and then deleting it.I have trouble leaving reviews and to leaving a negative one can play on your mind even being deservedly.Just give yourself time and remember the great times you had with her.Their is probably no point in dwelling on the negative things as this only can only impact negatively bon you and can't bring her back.

    Take care,

    Mark.

    1 person found this helpful
  24. Panicmerchant
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    148 posts
    23 January 2022

    I am totally at a loss. My darling dog was my life. She was constantly there. I took her out two to three times a day. She sat next to me on the couch when I was home. Slept at the foot of my bed at night. Was there the second I came home from anywhere. My life was her. Looking after her; brushing her sweet fur; feeding her; taking her out; washing her; singing to her; hugging her.

    I have no idea what to do with myself. I miss her every second of every day. I am seeing her and finding little reminders of her everywhere. I do not understand why a lot of people in my life do not get it. That losing her was losing my child. I have a lot of support from here and the people I used to see everyday at the shops etc.

    My darling will be returned to me tomorrow. I will be taking my friend's darling dogs to the beach on Tuesday to scatter her ashes in the creek she loved so much. I am just so glad I have my doggy friends who understand; and that I have my 'stepdoggies' :). They are my saviour.

    1 person found this helpful
  25. Matchy69
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    23 January 2022 in reply to Panicmerchant
    I know how hard it is for you and how much you are missing your beloved dog.They are more then just an animal,they are part of your family and the love of your life.They show unconditional love to you and are they are their constantly in your life greeting you when you come home,snuggling up to you at night.It is going to be a huge lost to you and you are going to feel so lost without her.It is ok to cry and miss her.I still cry for my dog when I think of her.They are beautiful amazing company that leaves a whole in your life when they are gone.Its all perfectly normal what you are feeling.You can feel angry at the vets for not properly diagnosing her,you have every right to.Just let it out.Let yourself grieve and remember the beautiful dog you had.You have that right even if others don't understand,your feelings are perfectly normal.
    1 person found this helpful
  26. Panicmerchant
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    148 posts
    23 January 2022

    :( She was the best. I rescued her and she was so grateful... I loved her so ...love her so. Why do people make such a drama when a human dies? Most humans are sh.. anyway? My darling soul who never hurt anyone; who indeed was hurt by sh humans was the most loving soul? Yet humans are supposedly the superior race? And I am supposed to 'show restraint' and not cry about her?

    I will keep the lesson she has taught me. And I absolutely know I will see her again.

    1 person found this helpful
  27. Matchy69
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    23 January 2022 in reply to Panicmerchant
    You have every right to cry and mourn your beloved dog.You are a real special person and rescueing a dog like you did shows me what a caring person you are.I did the same thing and never regretted saving a dog and giving them the best life like you have.Maby one day you can again.I am sorry how your family are treating you over it,you don't deserve that.You can hold your head high and you are wonderful person and it doesn't matter what your family thinks.
    1 person found this helpful
  28. Panicmerchant
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    148 posts
    23 January 2022 in reply to Matchy69

    :( Thankyou so much

    I am feeling like I am dying from the pain. And it was made so much worse by the sh...vets not diagnosing her or taking my concerns seriously. I have in fact reviewed them again and I will not delete this time. People need to know that these supposed professionals only care about $.

    I do not know what I will do. I am so furious, at the vets, at the shit my beloved went thru...before she came to me

    I will be going to the beach next week when darling's ashes arrive tomorrow :( to scatter some in her favourite pool...it will be totally heartbreaking but my heart is broken already so I will be alright I guess.

    Thanks so much for caring. How I wish I could meet you in person. xxxx

  29. mmMekitty
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    23 January 2022 in reply to Panicmerchant

    I'm so sorry your family show no compassion or sympathy. Truth is, some people are incapable, & sadly, some are unwilling.

    Rescuing your dog as you did, you obviously care deeply for the way animals are treated. That was a wonderful thing you did.

    I think you've learned a lot more from your dog, who showed you unconditional love & acceptance. I think it's great that you have your 'stepdoggies' in your life, & you are willing to be giving of your time & care to them.

    What are you doing with all the little reminders around your home?

    At first, it was hard to have reminders of Mekitty around the place, but equally hard to move things even to my small storage room, (because I could not give things away then), but now I am glad I kept some things. Some things did have to go, but not all at once. I simply have a limited storage room.

    It was difficult constantly thinking about her, that 'now she would be in the window sill', or missing her presence on my bed, her meowing, purring, & other odd sounds, even her attacking my toes. I miss how she woke me up in the morning. All of it, well, not so much the effort to put the worming drop on her neck each month. We both disliked the stuff!

    I'm sure I will be thinking of you, Tuesday, & at some point, I will think of a creek, with some bushes & trees, & gentle water flowing, & I'll have an idea of you & stepdoggies, saying farewell. & I can already feel I'm going to cry.

    My warmest (virtual) hug,

    mmMekitty

    2 people found this helpful
  30. Panicmerchant
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    148 posts
    23 January 2022 in reply to mmMekitty

    I am crying over your darling Kitty :( What a beautiful soul...the toe comment did make me laugh/cry! :( I am so grateful to you. You are honestly the only person who has given me support. Who knows how excruciating it is. 

    My darling girl was such fun! She was a total sook and a very talkative kid! Every morning I had to have a quick shower then take her out...she very quickly learned that she could trust me and wrap me around her paw! I'd be having shower and she would sit on the mat and complain until I took her out! The first time she went to the beach was adorable...I do not think she had ever been :( she absolutely loved it there and always headed to the creek inlet and did her hilarious hippo wallow....everyone down there loved her and I hope I will see them on Tuesday when I take her darling ashes back to scatter :((

    I am very fond of you and send you a massive hug. You are gold. xxxx

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