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Forums / PTSD & Trauma / PTSD after hospitalization when younger

Topic: PTSD after hospitalization when younger

18 posts, 0 answered
  1. feelingblue111
    feelingblue111 avatar
    8 posts
    9 August 2020

    I was 16 when I was put in a mental hospital for 3 days

    I'm now 29 and it has left me really traumatized still

    The amount of dodgy nurses and doctors being dishonest left me feeling hopeless

    I don't know how to move on

     

    I was feeling suicidal after experiencing sexual abuse

    In the hospital I was under supervision for 24 hours

    So having someone watch me go to the toilet and shower made me feel even worse

    I asked the nurse if I could say something to let them know I'm okay so I could go to the toilet or shower properly and they agreed but they were peeking through the gap in the door as I wasn't allowed to close the door

    The way I overcame being suicidal was knowing that their is a place worse than death

    They didn't provide counseling inside

    Your basically left in a bed all day with nothing to do

    You would go more insane

     

    One of the nurses said to me give me your phone

    I said what why

    He said just give me it

    I said you can't take my phone

    I asked him whats your name I want to complain about you

    He said whatever

    I told another nurse about him and he was the one peeking through the hole while I was going to the bathroom

    I just wish they were honest instead of lying

    They might as well had someone watch me instead of being sneaky

     

    I was more angry that I kept getting this nurse after telling other nurses about this dodgy nurse

     

    I keep getting flashbacks and reliving this period of my life in my head wishing I did something different

    I was harmed by other patients and left with dodgy nurses

    I was 16 and in a mental hospital with other adults

  2. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    6652 posts
    9 August 2020 in reply to feelingblue111
    Welcome feelingblue111,

    We are so sorry to hear about what you have been through. We understand that it must have been distressing to be subjected to further trauma when you had already been through so much. We are so glad that you had the courage to reach out here. Please know that you don't have to sit with these feelings alone. Our community is here for you to offer conversation, support, and advice.

    We can hear that this has been a long journey for you. Can we ask if you are currently receiving mental health support? Please do feel free to contact the Beyond Blue Support Service anytime on 1300 22 4636 or get in touch with us on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST here: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport
    One of the friendly counsellors can offer you some support but also provide you with advice and referrals for seeing a counsellor in a more ongoing way.

    We would also recommend that you contact 1800RESPECT. They offer confidential information, counselling and support 24/7 for people impacted by sexual assault, domestic or family violence and abuse. The lovely supportive counsellors have a lot of experience offering advice to support to women who have been through some of the trauma that you have experienced. You can contact them on 1800 737 732 or https://www.1800respect.org.au/

    We hope that you can find some comfort in the forums and that you can find the courage to reach out to a health professional again. Feel free to keep us updated here on your thread throughout your journey.
     
  3. feelingblue111
    feelingblue111 avatar
    8 posts
    9 August 2020 in reply to Sophie_M

    I'm not currently receiving mental health support because I don't have a GP that I feel comfortable with.

    It is also hard to travel for me and during these Covid times it's hard to leave the house.

  4. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    6652 posts
    9 August 2020 in reply to feelingblue111
    Hi feelingblue111,
      We empathise with how difficult it is in this pandemic period. If you feel it might be useful, we'd encourage you to visit our Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service. The website will be regularly updated with information, advice and strategies to help you manage your wellbeing and mental health during this time. This includes a 24/7 Support Service who can assist you navigate the difficulties of accessing mental health support in pandemic times.
    We understand it can be a really frustrating and exhausting experience trying to find a GP or a mental health practitioner that you feel comfortable with. Previous experiences of seeking help that did not go well may have discouraged you from doing so again. We always urge people like yourself not to be put off by one or even a couple of negative or unhelpful experiences, as what works is different for everyone and things can always improve with the right treatment and support. If you can, we'd suggest reaching out to one of the supports we mentioned who can hopefully get you on the road to recovery.

    Please feel free to reach out here whenever you feel up to it.
  5. monkey_magic
    Valued Contributor
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    4966 posts
    9 August 2020 in reply to feelingblue111
    Hi feelingblue111,

    Well done reaching out.

    After reading your post I thought gosh you were lucky.

    I'm also traumatized by my mental health hospital stays and harmed by other patients but they kept me in for 3 months....two times!

    I'm definitely not minimising how traumatic even 3 days can be.

    They take everyone's phones in there. I remember having to hand my pH in after coming back in from leave everyday. I did sneak it into my room for a lot of my stay though.

    I also felt that the psychiatrists and nurses were dodgy. I was just thinking last night how I distrust a lot of them. There are good ones amoung the bad it's just a matter of finding them.

    I hope you will be ok and have some coping strategies under your sleeve. If u wanted to talk some more I'm here to listen.
  6. feelingblue111
    feelingblue111 avatar
    8 posts
    9 August 2020 in reply to monkey_magic

    I felt you would go more insane in their as there was nothing to do

    You would lie down all day in your bed

    How is that better for your health

    There was no fresh air

    Everything you say is not listened to because you are 'mentally ill'

    They should have a counsellor on 24/7 to help

    1 person found this helpful
  7. monkey_magic
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    9 August 2020 in reply to feelingblue111
    Hi feelingblue111,

    I've heard people using the term " a broken system" when they refer to mental health. There is so much that goes on " on the inside" that I don't agree to.

    They make you believe you are mentally ill and they didn't listen to me either.

    They have nurses there 24/7 and some are better than others but they all give out medications like they are lollies and you can't refuse. I believe it's your right to have medication or not but they take that right away from you.

    I suppose some ppl need the rest- to lie in bed all day but it's not for everyone.

    I felt "controlled" by the system not taken care of.

    1 person found this helpful
  8. feelingblue111
    feelingblue111 avatar
    8 posts
    9 August 2020 in reply to monkey_magic
    A book to read or a tv
    Something...
    People in hospital need something to do.
    Lying in bed all day for 3 days made me worse
    And to have a disgusting nurse watch me go to the toilet all the time when he said he wouldn't
    He was peeking through the hole
    I prefer honesty then lying

    I feel they leave you in there linger when you are rude or want to argue
    If that's the case why don't they put every rude person in a mental hospital

    I was a sexual abuse victim and to have someone watch me go to the toilet made me worse
  9. monkey_magic
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    4966 posts
    9 August 2020 in reply to feelingblue111
    Omigosh feeling blue111,

    I really feel for you that would have been uncomfortable. Sorry you had to experience that.

    In the hospital I was in there were arts and crafts and an escorted walk. There were some books as well.

    Every hospital has it's differences but being enclosed in a small space wasn't good for me at all.
  10. feelingblue111
    feelingblue111 avatar
    8 posts
    9 August 2020 in reply to monkey_magic
    I have been left traumatised from my experience

    At least I get the DSP now and it was a good point to have to get the DSP but no money can make me happy
    I rather be happy and have to work for money
  11. monkey_magic
    Valued Contributor
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    4966 posts
    9 August 2020 in reply to feelingblue111
    You can still work while being on the DSP...

    Even if it's just once or twice a week.

    Good luck.
  12. feelingblue111
    feelingblue111 avatar
    8 posts
    9 August 2020 in reply to monkey_magic
    No it's a trap if you work
    If you work one or two days or even 29 hours below the 30 hour threshold
    You would be put up for a review and get taken off the dsp
  13. Guest_1643
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Guest_1643 avatar
    4854 posts
    10 August 2020

    Hey feelinblue111

    I just wanted to tell you you're not alone.

    i was in a therapy group where a psych assaulted a patient (not me).
    Although I wasn't assaultd, it made me feel very unsafe.

    I tried to complain to the board but it wasn't my complaint to make - she had to, and she didn't want to....

    I was jut wandering what state you are in? Some hospitals do have good services now which are trauma sensitive - but its very hit and miss.

    You deserved better and I believe and feel for everything you went through

  14. feelingblue111
    feelingblue111 avatar
    8 posts
    10 August 2020 in reply to Guest_1643
    Nsw. I shouldn't even have being in an adult institution
  15. Guest_1643
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Guest_1643 avatar
    4854 posts
    10 August 2020
    I agree :( maybe they don't know how to keep kids safe in some places, don't understand that their needs are different. absolutely unacceptable.
    It wasn't your fault - it's nothing you did which led this to happen, i identify with ur story a lot and understand the effects many years later..... i' so sorry it was so rough
  16. feelingblue111
    feelingblue111 avatar
    8 posts
    12 August 2020 in reply to Guest_1643

    They never even addressed why I was suicidal

    They just asked me do you feel like hurting yourself

    If you say yes then they keep you longer and then they don't address why you feel that way

    If you say no they still keep you because before you felt like you did and you need to explain whats changed

    But how does the mind get better by being in a mental institution and having nothing to do and being in fight or flight mode because you have to watch your back all the time

    1 person found this helpful
  17. monkey_magic
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    12 August 2020 in reply to feelingblue111
    Hi feeling blue111,

    I totally agree with you. How are you supposed to get better?

    I certainly watched my back 24/7.

    I would recommend seeing someone on the outside, group therapy, specialised therapy etc.

    You needed calm, understanding, and support.



  18. Guest_1643
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Guest_1643 avatar
    4854 posts
    13 August 2020 in reply to feelingblue111

    Hey Fb - i hear you

    i also agree with Monks's response

    it seems it wasn't helpful to you and also didn't let you heal... you didn't get your needs met and you wanted to be safe and secure. they should've listened to you and helped you.

    I just want to give you strength to know that there are some places that will provide trauma sensitive and age appropriate care, and I am praying and hoping that you find something better, that helps you and doesn't hurt you.
    You deserve it

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