Online forums

Before you can post or reply in these forums, please complete your profile

Complete your profile

Before you can post or reply in these forums, please join our online community.

Forum membership is open to anyone residing in Australia.

Join the online community Community rules Coping during the Coronavirus outbreak

Forums / Relationship and family issues / Not sure how much longer this can go on for

Topic: Not sure how much longer this can go on for

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. Nervous86
    Nervous86 avatar
    1 posts
    24 August 2015
    Recently my girlfriend and I split up as a result of my cheating- I do deeply love this girl but have so many things going on I feel like I could never talk to her with out making her upset- my daughter lives in another state, the mother hates me, after I see my daughter I feel like I'm in a black hole and have nothing. But rather than ask for help I just push people away. I've been struggling for nearly 4 years and I don't see any reason to keep it up. I don't have my daughter, I don't have my partner. I put on a huge front to people cause I don't want people to see me as weak but I don't think I could lose much more with out reaching my breaking point. I don't what to do- I don't know how to even ask for help from the people that care about me. I don't think there's many left to be honest 
  2. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    9780 posts
    24 August 2015 in reply to Nervous86

    Hi Nervous, welcome here.

    Before I get to some possible remedies allow me to state the obvious.

    You have just manned up to some errors. You cheated on your girlfriend and that act is often a permanent reason to be apart. You miss your daughter but you live apart from her surroundings.

    We are responsible for many things in our lives. We also have the ability to change course and at times redeem ourselves. We can sometimes have opportunity to "do the best thing" for someone else we love.

    In my opinion I would seize this period in your life to help out the child that doesn't have you around. Consider moving to where she lives and do that for her. It might not work out but trying to provide a parent to her, her dad, would and should go down as an honourable thing to do.

    They say "life is what you make it" and you like many has made some errors. Time to make the rest of your life full of merit.

    I think you know this. I also think you have it in you to succeed. Your post is a good start to wipe the slate clean.

    Good luck.

    Tony WK

  3. geoff
    Life Member
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    16466 posts
    24 August 2015 in reply to Nervous86

    hi Nervous, we all make mistakes, sometimes we don't want to, but misjudgements, underestimating or perhaps forced errors is what we have to expect, whether we like it or not.

    What ever was the reason you and your wife divorced/separated is of no consequence, however you broke the trust of your girlfriend and had a fling with another person, so you're been struggling for 4 years, that's too long and really long enough, so you have to get yourself back on line and start again.

    Your wife dislikes you, but that's now history, and the only affiliation is your daughter, but that's OK you can rebuild your relationship with her, even if she lives interstate, or as Tony has said you could move much closer to her.

    You know we struggle through days not wanting to make any contact with other people, and that's exactly how depression operates, it controls us, so what we have to do is to break any link to this illness that is keeping us in depression, easier said than done, I know.

    One good reason why you haven't found another girlfriend is because you're not allowing yourself to be free, and it is hard when you are depressed, so you have to begin treatment, it is hard and difficult to start with, but when you feel the way you are now, you can't go any lower.

    Your doctor will understand that you are suffering from depression, and there's no way you can disguise it from him/her, they are trained and can tell by looking at your eyes, so please can I suggest you contct him/her. Geoff.

     

Stay in touch with us

Sign up below for regular emails filled with information, advice and support for you or your loved ones.


Sign me up