Hi lily kitten
I’m a mum of two adult children, one of whom (my youngest) fell seriously ill with OCD at age 13. OCD is a serious, chronic and sometimes disabling illness. It’s a long story, but my youngest was very ill for over a year, hospitalised and then faced a long road to recovery.
Your story about the AC really resonated with me, as I’ve been in very similar situations many times.
Sometimes I used to feel that my eldest (at age 15) would deliberately create situations just to see how I would react. Like a crazy test to see who I loved more. Might sound strange but I would feel like I was deliberately being pulled in two. It was so very painful.
I sat my eldest down and fell on my sword. I apologised for making my youngest’s needs a constant priority and explained why I had I to ensure our home was always a safe place for my youngest to be. He didn’t really get it or didn’t want to get it because he was hurt and felt abandoned.
The situation was unfair to both of them. We went to a family counsellor and talked it all through. First the two of us, then my husband joined in and finally my youngest.
It was a really important opportunity for the oldest to vent, us to repair our relationship and most importantly for my eldest to learn about his sister’s mental health condition. As he gained understanding his empathy for my youngest and I grew. The nonsense stopped and the eldest actually joined his sister’s support team.
Hang in there. You’re not alone and it can get better.
Kind thoughts to you