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Forums / Staying well / Determination- do you have it?

Topic: Determination- do you have it?

6 posts, 0 answered
  1. white knight
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    white knight avatar
    9778 posts
    2 March 2022

    There is many common themes I see amongst the mentally challenged. Among them is determination and we read about it every day, those poor souls with all sorts of challenges in life. even the ups and downs of life itself can be an enormous climb to conquer. Then once you have, at the peak of that mountain you realise- there is another higher mountain and the next.

    This scenario is manifested when we expect smooth roads in life. A mental picture of paradise, a place you yearn for daily. I recall my mother when we were kids crying and saying "I just need a holiday". As kids we thought that would fix it all, in reality she wasnt coping with her daily struggles of life itself.

    Daily life is tough for many. Think about the thousands of tasks we do weekly just to live- rubbish/recycling/green waste processing, employment, kids needs, cleaning, debt attention, credit cards, bills, people interaction, the weather, toxic people, family issues and the list goes on.

    You indeed need to be determined to survive this if, on top of all that you have a mental illness. Then that alone with DR visits, medication woes, ups and downs and other peoples reactions to it all...how to combat this challenge?

    Well, combatting this is the worst approach to take IMO. Acceptance is the only effective way to find peace. Once you accept live as the above and there is naught you can do to change it, then you can develop ways to automatically go about these chores and relationships with less thinking about them- automatically do them is the way to go. I mean we can lie on the couch and think about all the stuff we have to do and go "I think I'll just lie here and vegetate for a while" or you can rise and focus on just one task. Worry about the next task later.

    A thread pertaining to the process of "dont think DO" is following. This can help in your development of becoming determined and therefore coping with life better.

    https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/switching-mindsets

    Can you be a hermit and be determined? Yes you can. Challenges can be so huge to you but small to others. It doesnt matter, face your challenges methodically when you are comfortable. Write your daily challenges down and tick them off as you complete them.

    Do you have trouble being determined? Do you lack motivation? Do you want to find your inner peace?

    https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/inner-peace-the-glory-of-being-you

    TonyWK

    1 person found this helpful
  2. Guest_1643
    blueVoices member
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    Guest_1643 avatar
    4854 posts
    2 March 2022 in reply to white knight

    Hi wk...

    Being an adult is hard

    I don't doubt many here have experienced neglect abuse or chaotic and confusing up bringing

    Many people talk about parenting ourselves....it's extremely hard

    But worth it, I guess

    I used to compare myself to others but there's no comparison

    Surviving abuse and neglect I had struggles they didn't

    I believe we need to persist and be vulnerable at times, to get the life we want and deserve

    The first step is being honest with urself.

    3 people found this helpful
  3. white knight
    Community Champion
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    white knight avatar
    9778 posts
    2 March 2022 in reply to Guest_1643

    I have learned Slerpy, that those people that appear to not have the struggles I did often had worse ones but hid them.

    TonyWK

    1 person found this helpful
  4. sbella02
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    245 posts
    4 March 2022 in reply to white knight

    White Knight,

    An interesting discussion that you've started, once again.

    When I was a lot younger, I used to wonder what kinds of struggles adults faced. Was it work, money, social relationships? A combination? I had this thought that there was a level of freedom that comes with adulthood, but couldn't quite comprehend that this freedom comes with a series of everyday challenges and struggles that children don't necessarily have to worry about in most cases.

    I've found that as somebody who's fairly new to adulthood, finding determination/motivation/inner peace is more pronounced than it was in my late adolescence. Struggling to find the motivation or determination to overcome certain hurdles that may even seem simple to other people. Navigating mental struggles can also compound the everyday stressors of life, too.

    I always find solace in the fact that every day is a new day, and the challenges of yesterday may not necessarily be the same challenges I'll be faced with today. My to-do list will always be slightly altered, even though I may have some tasks that repeat or are regular. I find that making a schedule always helps me, because I can visualise the urgency of each task I need to do, and I feel a small sense of accomplishment ticking off tasks that I have done. This sense of achievement can also help motivate me to do other tasks too.

    I'm generally good at self-motivating, but there are times when I find it so difficult because I simply lack the energy or patience. Exercising definitely helps me out with this, because it helps get me into a productive mindset. Even taking a bit of time to myself to engage in one of my hobbies or perhaps scroll through Tik Tok helps rejuvenate me enough to encourage productivity.

    What are your thoughts? What helps motivate you?

    SB

  5. Guest_1643
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Guest_1643 avatar
    4854 posts
    4 March 2022 in reply to white knight

    Well said Tony well said!

    It has taken me a while to understand how ppl who judge us are hiding worse pain.

    I found that being vulnerable was welcomed and held by friends, but a few who used it against me honestly were unable to own up to their own struggles.

    It is truly hard to live wirh trauma and carry on but I'm learning to honour myself and my past.

    Hiding our history and truth is I feel pretty damaging in the long run.

  6. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    9778 posts
    5 March 2022 in reply to sbella02

    Hi SB

    A good post. Insightful.

    Being bipolar I have "swings" from depression to mania although controlled they still exist. So motivation along with mood comes and goes. If I'm not motivated, an hour later I might be.

    Most definitely positive thinking has helped. A massive turn around in attitude at 26yo sealed my future thinking processes.

    It's in the thread

    30 minutes can change your life.

    Sleepy,

    trauma is scars so we can rub them all we like, they stay as scars. If we look away from them and are distracted we tend to cope better. But yes, it's difficult

    TonyWK

    1 person found this helpful

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