I've read here many times. "I used to be thriving, capable, a team leader, a CEO, a bight and joyous person......."now I cant get out of bed" or "now I cant concentrate"
Once you are at the top eg you have achieved so much - you can only either stay there or slide down. If you slide down slowly it can be tolerated as you finally reach retirement age but some fall with a thud.
I'm 59yo and ran my own one man business. Although I never reached the peak of my business potential I was happy with my level of professionalism. In 2003 I was initially diagnosed but my mental issues went way back to childhood. Since 2003 my mental capability has diminished. I retired earlier than desired at 2013 and have noticed some abilities I took for granted have drifted away.
Co-ordination. I can no longer do heavy paperwork. I can pay bills on line Bpay and the like. But to sort out my 250 poems into sections eg Personal, australiana, war poems, childrens poems etc is nigh impossible. My wife helped me today and she eventually had to take over. I was getting them all mixed up. So concentration is not there any more.
These things is like an overflowing bucket. Such bucket wont empty to allow space to recuperate.
I'm tired and depleted of drive to seek more therapy. I'm satisfied on my medication. I dont want further psychiatric consultation. In terms of mental capacity I just want to "exist". I can pass on my experience here as a champion volunteer because the memory bank is full of data but my short term memory has gone on a permanent holiday. I cannot concentrate on more than one thing at a time. I get moody if interrupted on a task because I cant leave that task with my concentration to think about anything else then return to it. Am I just getting old?
I teach here the need to accept ones illness. Accepting depression for example then managing it is the mentality one should strive for. Yet age (if that's what it is) is really hard to accept.
I fell over in my garage a few days back. The fall seemed to take 10 seconds from start to finish. I asked an older male friend if he falls often and his answer was "yes". And he gets dizzy if bending over for too long. I feel that mental illness, bipolar 2, dysthymia, anxiety and depression has taken its toll, even damaged my brain.
Has anyone else felt these symptoms? Do you feel your brain is worn out?