Hi EM

You really hit the nail on the head with 3 areas that need work

Self care: While I can kid myself that I care, there are a lot of signs which reflect how I don't care as much as I should. I really want to start working on all the things that are going to raise my vibe (increase my energy levels). Good diet, basic exercise, more adventure are just a few of the many areas which will get my cells happily and excitedly vibrating in a much healthier way. Vibing up takes effort. I'm going to become excited about the effort/challenge, creating goals to manifest and celebrating along the way

Self compassion: Will often say to others 'You have to be kinder to yourself. Stop beating yourself up so much'. You think I would have learned by now, regarding applying this to myself. I can look back on photos of myself in my 20s and early 30s and feel quite sad for that girl who was doing her best under the circumstances (depression). I have so much compassion for my younger self. Why not at 50, in the present moment? Where's that compassion? I will add this to my list of things to begin practicing on a daily basis

True empathy: One of the things I do practice more often than not is getting a feel for what my feelings are trying to tell me and meditating on inspiration. For example, I could be feeling sadness and wonder why I feel this. I'll meditate on inspiration and what my come to mind could be 'You're feeling sorrow/sorry for yourself because you feel no one raising you. You feel the lack. People are letting you vibe in exhaustion, as opposed to helping and inspiring you. It's time to demand help and inspiration'. Yes, inspiration has a lot to say at times :)

Okay, today I'm going off to buy Post it notes. It'll trigger my husband to get annoyed a little, posting notes all around the house but that's a him problem. Maybe I should insist he read them, so as to generate a little change in his life, in our relationship. Boy, does our relationship need constructive change. Nup, my focus for change is on myself. If he wants to come along for the ride, so be it. I'm feeling pretty pumped now EM. I'm done trying to make the marriage more exciting. My focus is on me now. Even my kids say 'Mum, it's time to give up putting so much effort in with Dad. He's not going to change. You're wasting your time'.

Alright, Post it notes here I come to free you from your shelf at Officeworks and put you to good use.

Thanks for the inspiration EM. Thanks for raising my vibe :)

Hey therising!

Out of the mouths of babes hey?? Lol intelligent creatures they are.
Mine said a funny thing years ago when they heard demon demanding more money from me (after separation - as though I was ITS mother).. I refused...
When it left, the kids said "Don't give any money to dad, you're just his free ATM"...

woah, that was a realisation and a half right there!

Anyhoo lol... quite a few thoughts came to mind about what you wrote, therising...
one is that I want to reach out a give your younger self in those photos a HUGE WARM HUG!

And the therising NOW, HUGE WARM HUGS!

I've got a few thoughts on depression too, my own thoughts after battling it for years and it's WAY over there in the wings of my life behaving quietly atm - hopefully it's in a coma lol:
~ it's not WHO we are eg "I'm a depressed individual" but I see at as a COATing over who we really are... I've been known to say "I can feel depression seeping in like a tsunami"
~ it needs attention... attention given to it like a good parent to a child ie with DISCIPLINE...
~ I've never said this before on the forums but I will say it now... it also excuses US to give blame to others, therefore if we subscribe to this as depression so conveniently WANTS us to, then we stay depressed and keep blaming others.
The reality is that WE have to take 100% responsibility for our own machinations of our minds.

Moving OUT of depression AND anxiety (very much including OUT of PTSD & C-PTSD) is the scariest times of our lives...

becoming WELL is soooooo scary!
I think esp because we haven't done it for x long.
We don't even know HOW to live without these "masks" - I just had my phone Counselling session in the middle of writing to you! lol, my Counsellor agrees lol..

but also to THANK depression for what it's been TRYING to do... perhaps protect us? help alleviate our responsibility by blaming others? letting us sleep more? explaining why x,y,z is in our lives or NOT in our lives? all sorts.

Time to cut loose therising, and envision how YOUR life will feel and be.

Love EM

Hi all,

Well I'm struggling of late. I'm gracious for all I have but have anxiety, struggling to find positivity. I'm manifesting, visualising what I want and letting it go, leaving it to the Universe. Despite all this I just don't feel good.

How is everyone else doing?

Cmf x

Hi EM

Sorry I missed your last post. You're such a thoughtful, analytical, open minded sensitive person. You're strengths and abilities are obvious, based on what you write.

Managing the way out of mental health challenges is definitely challenging in itself. It's kind of like navigating uncharted territory. Takes a brave and determined pioneering spirit. If you were to map out territories, I'd have to say I love coming to the little places of revelation. it's almost like a relief from all the hard work of traveling.

Don't you just love revelations, the way they lead you to feel. You can feel the energy through them. You can feel them raising you in a soulful kind of way. I admit to being a revelation addict. I love the high. I'm kinda addicted you could say. When I'm not channeling some revelation, it's a little like feeling the impact of not getting a hit :)

Sometimes I wonder what a psychologist would say when it comes to my addiction to wonder and revelation. Would they say I have some form of OCD? There are times where you could sit me in front of my laptop and trigger me to wonder about some topic which would reveal something amazing. That topic would lead me to wonder about something else quite revealing. This could go on for the whole day, creating some disorder in my life. The family doesn't get dinner, the house remains a mess and so on. I've learned to rely on inspiration to some degree. I can be sitting there when what suddenly comes to mind is 'Get up out of the chair and go and have a shower' or 'Go and visit your mother'. Inspiration's a great motivator :)

How does revelation and inspiration lead you to feel? Do you find it's a little like having a compass on your travels?

:)

Hi CMF

My heart goes out to you as you work so hard to feel that connection to life that you love so much, that connection you deserve.

I can't help but wonder whether you have a lack of people leading you to feel positivity. Wondering whether you also have an abundance of people in your life leading you to feel stress and exhaustion. With that abundance one, you gotta wonder what the heck is wrong with people who have no problem with leading us to stress and exhaustion.

Sounds strange but do you ever wonder who you need to channel within yourself during a challenge? Sometimes I find it's 'The commander': 'Okay people, we gotta get this house cleaned up NOW!' Channeling the commander means you're not left doing everything yourself. One of my all time favourites that's only recently come into play is 'The super b**ch'. I love the way she's liberated me, although she does challenge me to find a filter :) She's led me to a whole new sense of wonder. Just say my husband says to me, while he's on leave from work 'I'm sick of the house looking like a mess'. Cue 'The super b**ch': 'I can't help but wonder how your self righteous lazy attitude leads you to believe you have no fault in this'. BAMMM! In the past, I would have just cleaned the house myself, to avoid the conflict. Sometimes we gotta channel 'The loving sage': 'You need to be kinder to yourself. You work so hard to make a difference in your own life and the lives of others. You deserve a holiday. You deserve the freedom to love yourself more. You deserve a break'. I find 'The strategist' is one of the handiest aspects of self to have, to channel. It's like you can be talking on the phone to some person who you need to help you, from some government institution for example. You may get a sense that they're not going to give you any joy. Cue 'The strategist/The manipulator': 'Joe, I feel that while you really want to help me with this and I truly appreciate it, do you feel this is something you'd like to hand over to your manager? Maybe he or she can help me with this so that you can be free to move onto helping the next person. What do you think? By the way Joe, keep in mind they're getting paid well to manage my kind of challenge. You really shouldn't have to'.

Do you get a sense of who you need to channel at the moment, in order to feel better? it might be a combo such as the sage and the commander: 'Okay people, enough of me trying to raise myself. Pull up your socks and help me manage this!'

:)

Dear CMF, big warm hugs.

What you wrote and what I wrote previously was before I listened to an awesome segment of Brene Brown's Podcasts. I've read some of her books and watched her Ted Talks too.

THEY ARE WELL WORTH IT!

Also my eldest d is doing her Psych Honours, but is also a knowledge addict lol. She has TONS of friends who work / support ppl with addictions, who are ex addicts themselves. We could talk for hours everyday about what she's learning, it's gobsmackingly interesting!

One of Brene's strategies is to THANK the feeling, yes even the "negative" ones.
I do this by imagining anxiety or depression as one of the monsters in Where The Wild Things Are - that children's book.
A HUGE big, cuddly, cute creature that just wants attention.

Alexa says this also... "sit with your feelings".
Meaning accept them.

I like to have a conversation with them.
Ask them why they've awakened.
There's ALWAYS reasons.

Then I THANK the monster.
Ask it to go to sleep.
Whatever the monster thought it was doing by waking up, isn't necessary any more.
Thank you for trying to help.

I'm safe.
I can do this without you. Go have a sleep lol.

The reality of life is that we CAN'T feel good 100% of the time.
It's not realistic to expect it either.

Though I think it's really important what we think and what we DO when we don't feel so good.

I get "back to basics" of what I know works for me:
~ good sleep and lots of it!
~ good food and not wanting for it (being hungry triggers lots of stuff for me)
~ doing SOME THING I LOVE at least once a day, even if it's for 20mins. All day if I can manage it with my family.
~ practising self-care. Having that warm, scrubby bath. Putting nice smelling moisturiser on my face, hands and body.
~ connecting with someone who I know "has my back".

This is the BASIC jigsaw puzzle of mental HEALTH for me.

After a while in this mode, I can then visualise my awesome life! Hahaha.

I've manifested a few funny things lately, it's quite funny.

Love EM

Hey therising, gosh you're funny lol.

"Sometimes I wonder what a psychologist would say when it comes to my addiction to wonder and revelation. Would they say I have some form of OCD?"

I DON'T KNOW lol... what do you think?
I know what my psych would say to me if I said that to her .... you're dissociating. But that's just me.

I can ask a Psych friend for you lol.

Tbh I can't sit anywhere for too long ever, not even in Conferences or Staff Meetings.
So NEVER at home.
I just have far too much to do all the time; huge garden, lots of kids as a single mum and a full time job. I'm a real doer and happiest when I'm achieving something. Even housework!

"How does revelation and inspiration lead you to feel?"

Sure, they lead me to feel lighter.
Possibly more of a comfort or validation kind of thing.

"Do you find it's a little like having a compass on your travels?"

Umm probably not really.
More like a mode of travelling lol. Not WHAT or WHERE to travel TO.

Maybe I'm a bit stubborn (yikes!) and prefer to take charge of my own life ie set my own goals etc.

I don't rely on others to make me feel good, that's all just far too "chancey".
I've seldom found any truly "wholehearted" individuals, more ego driven ones really, so
depending on anyone else around me to make me feel good would be madness lol.
So tbh I take compliments AND criticisms from other with a grain of salt.
I just don't need them.

The very BEST feeling I get is when someone says I love you.

Just on an extended tangent, I think of it all as tapping into my Higher Power kind of thing. I grew up with the religious thinking "God has a purpose for our lives" etc. My view on that is more melded in to yes I believe in God and Jesus and Pray for guidance ALL THE TIME, but the connection is closer. More like a synergistic relationship lol.

I'm not saying I AM GOD lol! A long way from any form of perfection lol.

Hope that all makes some sense lol.

Love EMxxxx

Hi EM

You have a wonderful way of working yourself out. Imagining the creatures from 'Where the Wild Things Are' is a reflection of your brilliant imagination and determination to find exactly what works. I used to think imagination was the realm of children until I realised it belongs to those who seek a difference, to those who desire to manifest, to those whose clear vision has to come from somewhere.

Speaking of clear vision, I had a conversation with someone just the other day about the topic of clairvoyance. Their response 'I don't believe in all that stuff'. As I may have mentioned in the past, I'm one of those gals who's on a quest to incorporate some of the woo woo stuff into my life. To them I expressed the simplicity of clairvoyance, 'Have you ever imagined something and found it has come to life? Have you ever imagined something you desired to manifest and found yourself in the flow? In your mind, you predicted your future and here it is, manifested through faith in yourself, your vision and perhaps your own hard work'. As I said to them 'Clairvoyance is clear vision. Clairvoyance does not solely belong to those who proclaim 'I see dead people', it also belongs to those who foretell the future based on what they come to imagine'.

Clair audience or clear hearing is somewhat the same. It does not solely belong to those who hear someone who has passed, it belongs to those who may hear what simply comes to mind when facing self doubt, 'It's going to be hard but you can get through this' or those who hear that which comes to mind when feeling lost, 'You need help, you can't do this alone'. One of my favourites is clairsentience, also known as clear feeling. It's never hard to pick someone with this ability. By the way, it often triggers me when I hear a person say to another 'You're too sensitive, you need to toughen up'. If you can feel or sense someone bringing you down or shutting you down, sense someone's self righteousness or degrading words and attitude or sense someone raising you or opening your mind to wonder and imagination, it's a sense you don't want to sacrifice. It's kind of like getting a feel for who belongs in your flow, who doesn't and who you need to be cautious of while they're in your flow. I can look back at my years in depression, earlier in life, and feel who and what depressed me. Quite an epiphany.

Once you're tapped into the synergy, it's like turning up the volume, where things suddenly become clear (clair).

:)

Wow,can't believe it's been a year since I started this thread. I'll need to read back on it cos I know I've been really flat, feeling down and out. My vibration is low and I'm struggling to raise it. I don't know of it's cos of people, environment, anxiety...I just know it's dropped alot.

Another Wow. A year ago I asked Moon which books she had read on Law of attraction/manifestation. One of them was 'Ask and it is given' I just looked at the books on my bedside table...and there it is. I bought it not long ago but am yet to read it. Clearly sign that I need to!

Cmf x

Hi CMF

You've led others to greater levels of consciousness because you started this thread. A heartfelt thank you regarding the impact it's had :)

Sounds like you've pinpointed the areas where you need to 'change the channel'. Wondering if you can relate...

• You can be tuning into all the wrong people when it comes to the challenge you're in. While they might be great for helping in other ways, when it comes to the challenge you're in, they may have you tuning into stuff like 'You just need to get on with things', 'You're thinking way too much. You need to stop it', 'You're too sensitive, you need to just toughen up'. If you're needing to tune into how to get on with things, if there's a deep need for analysis and if your sensitivity is going to lead you to feel inspiration (sense its presence), all that 'good advice' doesn't help or is even a downer. Tuning into Moonstruck's advice about the book could be the channel of clarity you're looking for. You can even feel it or sense it, that it will offer some form of clarity
• Tuning into the same old environment, typically won't channel anything new, unless you spot something outstanding which triggers a constructive train of thought, such as seeing that book on the bedside table
• I once heard someone talking about the law of vibration. They mentioned that if we're connecting to life through anxiety, we're typically connecting to life through fear. There can be fear of not enough time to get everything done, not enough of a sense of the direction we're searching for, not enough money and so on. Once the channel changes from 'a lack of things' to 'trust', we can trust what comes to mind in the way of managing our time and priorities. We can trust what comes to mind in the way of gaining a sense of direction. Perhaps even the same for money in some cases. I should listen more often by the way. What comes to mind a lot for me lately is 'You need to seriously consider a budget for saving. Money isn't always going to flow this easily at certain times in the future'

Wondering if you find the best channel, for inspiration and guidance, isn't always that clear. Kinda like it's either visual or audio static. Far easier to see a clear vision of the future or hear the best guidance that comes to mind when the static's not there. If something's saying to you 'You gotta read this book', sounds like you're tuned in. Tuning out from the inspiration that comes to mind, for me, can make me my own worst enemy at times :)

Hi therising,

Firstly, thank you for your lovely words. I didn't realise this thread made such an pact and I'm glad it did.

I am def tuning into the wrong people. I'm also allowing the negatives to take over. I'm dwelling on them and felt myself sinking deeper and deeper.

Same old environment and same old routine. I'm doing things to change that. Shake it up a little, get things moving along.

Law of vibration. Yes. I feel anxious about the same things at work and have not been trusting my ability. This needs to change.

I've had alot of static lately, time to retune. I've started my gratitude journal again and meditation when I go to bed. I'm going back to getting things done instead of ruminating and worrying about them. I'm getting my mojo back.

Cmf x

Hi CMF

Excited for you, getting your mojo back :)

Was listening to someone the other day who was talking about 'The Void'. She was explaining how in the void, there can be the feeling of disconnection, kind of like the feeling of abandonment from the powers that be. You can be feeling so connected to the flow of life where synchronicity is in abundance and the magic of life is everywhere and then suddenly it all appears to stop. She mentioned how, at these times, the void appears as a prompt to go within and begin questioning on a whole new level. I've found this is typically the case for me. That feeling of abandonment can bring me so down for a period of time, I'm left questioning whether I'll ever get my mojo back. Has it deserted me forever? Am I heading back into a depression? This is one of my biggest fears in life, by the way. And then, bamm, it comes back once I've begun to ask the deeper questions that I really need to be asking myself. Some positively mind altering revelation cues the return of 'The Flow'.

I suppose it's a bit like being in school. If the powers that be is the teacher, it's kind of like hearing from them 'Okay, time for an exam'. You're left to examine what you know (your learned abilities so far) and what you don't know (what you need to learn) or what you need to practice more of, to graduate to the next level. The teacher's not going to say 'Here are all the answers to this exam', they simply remain on the sidelines, waiting for you to complete this personal examination.

Sounds like 'Ask and it is given' is a new textbook for you in coming to learn new abilities toward your graduation (to the next level).

:)

Hi CMF....well that's great to hear. It's very very powerful....as are you! Onwards and upwards CMF...leave Sis floundering in the shallows...LOL.....xx

Thanks dear Moon,

I've been using my gratitude diary I'm starting to see alot of recurring numbers again. Today I saw 1:11, 2:22 & 3:33.

Nice 😊

Hi therising,

the book is great so far. I've just read about The Law of Attraction and it's pretty clear why my desires are not manifesting. I've been focussing on the wrong thing.

It makes alot of sense, but I'm struggling to change it cos when I think of a particular person, whom I'd like not to be in the picture so much, I just feel resentment , anger and negative feelings toward how and why she's upset me.

Guess I need to practise changing that vibration.

Cmf x

Hi CMF

So glad the book is making a difference. Nothing quite like a book which offers you those moments of 'Ahh, no wonder things are going the way they are. It makes perfect sense'.

Some people are definitely challenging, hey. Gets even more intense when they trigger you to a whole new level of challenge. I find such people will trigger/challenge me to let go of something, which can feel impossible at times. With those seemingly impossible times, I can run a gauntlet of questions: Are they challenging me to let go of a personal belief of mine which doesn't serve me any longer? Are they challenging me to let go of the version of them I hold in my mind because, basically, that's not entirely who they are? Are they challenging me to let go of enabling a certain behaviour of theirs? Are they challenging me to let go of seeking approval from people, when it comes to living the life I love? With that last one, not sure if you have anyone in your life who tends to say to you 'All that stuff you believe in is rubbish'. You may truly love this kind of stuff. It can be the kind of stuff that's been responsible for major positive changes in your life. When it comes to this kind of challenge (letting go of seeking approval), someone once gave me a great piece of advice - There are 2 paths. One is the path of seeking and practicing greater consciousness. This path requires you to be open minded and less judgemental of others. The other is the path that involves little seeking. There is little need to seek when you believe you know everything. Their advice was to choose your own path and let others choose theirs. Their added advice, 'Instead of focusing on their path (one of little seeking), refocus on your own for there is far more satisfaction to be gained on your own path'. Of course, this is hard to do at times. People can challenge us in so many ways.

I wish you an abundance of life's gifts as you reconnect with the master manifester in you. Keep us updated :)

Hi there CMF....hope I put this correctly...my understanding is {and has proved to be so, for me) is that the more you think about her, and what angers and annoys you so much about her...the more "energy" you are giving her to continue doing just that!

If you keep "paying attention" to something unwanted, the more energy you are giving the unwanted situation which will continue to keep prominent in your life.

This might make it easier for you to understand what I mean if I use a famous quote from Mother Theresa, the famous nun who devoted her life to caring for the sick and dying...she said "I will never attend an anti war rally.....invite me to a peace rally and I'll come"!

{ in other words, concentrate i.e give your energy to what you want, not what you DON'T want)...love Moon S xx

Hi therising,

Are they challenging me to let go of the version of them I hold in my mind because, basically, that's not entirely who they are? Are they challenging me to let go of enabling a certain behaviour of theirs?

Yes to these points - you hit the nail on the head. I've always said the person in question is not a bad person, i just find their behaviour annoying. I realised today there are ways i could gently mention them and explain how it makes me feel.

Moon,

Yes, i have been thinking the exact same thing since starting to read the book. I'm focussing way too much on what i don't want instead of what i do want.

She had a hernia op last week. I decided to let go of my negative feelings and messaged her yester day to see how she is feeling. In her reply she asked how i am and said she misses me as she hasn't seen me for months. I found this heart warming and did realise how much i focus on negatives. I'm also projecting my negative feelings and thinking she is upset with me. It did lift my spirits and make me want to refocus. Straight after, i saw the numbers 3:33. I have been in a more positive mood this week and seeing recurring numbers again, getting car park closer to work and have been enjoying the things I'm learning at work instead of letting them stress me out. I've been writing in my gratitude journal each night too before reading a chapter of the book.

The power of positive thinking, manifesting, gratitude...it really does work.

cmf x

Well, I'm loving the book.

I read a chapter every night. Funny how each chapter resonates with how I've been feeling or what has been on my mind that day. Perhaps I'm aligning with my Source Energy? Each chapter is clarifying what I needed to know on that day.

It's not rocket science, but basic sense. I can see how things that have or haven't worked in the past have been a manifestation of my thoughts about those things.

I've also done alot of cleaning. Cleaning out cupboards, scrubbing tiles and re arranged a couple of rooms. It's brought a sense if calm. My daughter's bed is no longer against the wall with the curtain, it looks bigger and more open. My desk from which I work from home is no longer facing a wall. It looks out to the family room, the window to my right instead of behind me. I don't feel so trapped but rather more open to my environment. I have more cupboards to clean out. It's so refreshing.

Cmf x

Hi CMF

So very excited for you. Sounds like you're manifesting some significant changes, making way for what's new.

Have found over time that basic sense (as you mentioned) or our common sense involves sensing what's needed, something you get a feel for. It's like you could have a chair you really want to get rid of while you're redecorating but you can't bring yourself to do it. Some would say 'Show some common sense; you can't throw that out, it cost you $1500. To throw it out is irresponsible'. Others may say 'This chair obviously aggravates you immensely, every time you pass by it. If you can't come to like it, no matter what you do to it, get rid of it. It's your common sense that leads you to feel aggravation toward that chair. Why would you choose to feel aggravation?' So you use your common sense of feeling, feeling the need to get rid of the chair, and you finally get rid of it. Later, you might realise why you disliked that chair so much.

I suppose this relates to why it tends to trigger me when I hear someone say to another (especially when adults say it to young people) 'You're being way too sensitive, you need to toughen up'. It's another way of saying 'You need to suppress your common sense more often'.

So happy for you that you're feeling the magic. I imagine everyone living in the house is feeling a bit of it too, thanks to you. Sounds like that author has a way of getting people back in touch with their most common sense.

:)

Def not aligning with my source energy ATM. Feeling very down and angry with other people's actions.

How do I change this?

Hi CMF

Sometimes I ask myself 'In the school of life, why is there so much work and not enough play time?'

When I'm in a downer, I think 'It's not fair'. When I'm out of that downer, what comes to mind is 'The higher the graduation levels, the more intense the work can become'. By the way, it's easy to be philosophical when we're not in the midst of a challenge. Was saying to my 18yo daughter just last week 'I need a break from work, from responsibility. It's not that I want to stop taking responsibility for making a difference in the lives of family, friends etc, I just want somewhat of a holiday from it all. I need time on my own for quiet reflection, without constant challenge'.

CMF, do you ever think 'Why does everyone in my life get a break from responsibility and I never seem to?' When was the last time you had time off? I'm talking about real time off, when you've got no one saying 'So, what's for tea? Can I have this? I need you to help me with that?' When was the last time everyone served you or you took significant time out to serve yourself? For me, it was about 14 years ago, when the in-laws came to stay and help my husband look after the kids while I took a break for an overseas holiday. Sometimes I think 'S**t, 14 years ago. No wonder I feel exhausted sometimes'. While other mum's might say 'That's life, that's your job', I think 'I'm not out to be a martyr, I'm out for an occasional break instead'. My daughter's pushing me to at least go away for a weekend on my own, here and there.

The downers are definitely tough at times. There can be a bit of venting (crying/sobbing) through a challenge or pure exhaustion, a bit of feeling sorrow for yourself (the self who desperately wants a break but can't seem to find one), a bit of 'You selfish bunch of buggers' kind of wake up call ranting at others and a mix of a lot of other things. Sometimes what comes to mind is 'Okay, it's time for a bit of healthy disappointment'. Healthy disappointment's so liberating. You're allowed to disappoint yourself on occasion from being 'She who is tolerant', from being the 'go to' person all the time, from being the one who is considered last ('No way dude, I'm coming 1st on this occasion!') and from a whole stack of other appointments or roles.

Sometimes I find healthy disappointment gives others the challenge they need, like learning that you do need to be put 1st on occasion, something you deserve. Of course, challenging others does tend to trigger them :)

Hi therising,

A break? I guess I'm not one to go away on my own. For me a break is shopping on my own, or going for a walk on my own. So I guess the last time I took a REAL break is...I have no idea.

My down mood lifted,now I have anxiety. We are in our 4th week of lockdown, kids remote learning 1 of them in yr 12.

I've been using my gratitude diary and finding things to be thankful for. Sometimes it's the same things but that's OK I guess.

Cmf x

Hi CMF

My heart goes out to you and your kids. Sometimes I think they should rename lock down 'Welcome to the emotional roller coaster ride'. Kinda feels that way at times.

Nothing quite like lock down to trigger a mum's abilities as an empath. You can really feel their stress, frustration and so on, on top of your own. One of the mantras in our house has always been 'Mental health always comes before school'. My daughter was saying just the other day how deeply she feels for this year's year 12 students. In Victoria especially, this is their 2nd year of serious disruption. With years 11 and 12 being the 2 most challenging years under the best of circumstances, the most challenging of circumstances would be mind altering. She was grateful for only having had one year of it, finishing year 12 last year.

It's definitely tough for our young ones and it really tests you as a parent, what they're currently going through. I believe they're fortunate to have mums who feel so much, as opposed to having mums who are insensitive, spouting out stuff like 'Life's tough. Just get on with it and stop complaining'. When you speak of gratitude, I believe I am most grateful for my 2 kids. To have people who feel as much as me, as companions in life, is something I'm deeply grateful for. We've been feeling our way through the lock downs together and have all found it quite amazing how much we're on the same page, emotionally. While all feeling the challenges in our own way, we're also all feeling the deep need to brainstorm solutions when it comes to raising each other.

Do you find that the lock downs are tuning you into each other more, like you're coming to know what each other's thinking or feeling to some degree?

Hi therising,

I'm finding the lockdown is turning us against each other lol. Work, home, school all in the same space. There is just no relief or separation.My year 12 daughter has to attend school today and tomorrow so I'm hoping the break and seeing some friends and teachers will lift her spirit.

On another note, we had a strange weekend. it was our 3 year anniversary Friday but we couldn't celebrate as i had to be corvid tested, my partner sent beautiful flowers which arrived same time as the dreaded text and i had to cancel our evening. It was a disaster. He still wanted to come over but i was not in the mood at all. Stressed, wet from the rain, upset. Next day was his dad's bday (deceased) and my partner bumped into his ex wife whom his dad disliked. My partner says his dad did that as a stir. Sunday i was looking at FB and a memory came up on his sisters feed of their dad's 70th. It was a family pic with his ex wife!

I'm wondering what the message is. 3 is a significant number for us. Our 3rd anniversary was ruined and his ex wife popped up twice. It is actually causing me anxiety as my partner seemed a little quiet Sunday. I have been very down and moody due to lockdown and my daughter, he tells me there are worse things going on in the world (invalidating my feelings?)

Why would i get the covid test message exact same time as the flowers arrived? Why would his ex wife pop up twice? The card reading i had few weeks ago showed knives pointed at us,that someone does not have our best interests at heart. I was told to be careful whom i talk to.

I guess i'm questioning cos it was or 3rd anniversay and 3 is a prominent number for us. We re connected on 03/09 after 30 years. his house is number 30, mine is 18 8+1=9...see the pattern?

cmf

Hi CMF

3 is regarded as a highly significant number in a variety of ways, relating often to balance and perspective. Past/present/future, mind/body/spirit, father/son/holy spirit, up/down/the in between, the masculine/feminine/inner child and the list goes on. I find 3 to be significant for me in my own life at times. You know when something you don't pay too much attention to happens and then it happens again. You can be left asking 'Was that insignificant coincidence or meaningful coincidence?', when suddenly it happens for a 3rd time. I like to see the 3rd time as confirmation of meaningful coincidence.These things coincide for a reason.

Do you wonder whether receiving the flowers at that time was a reminder that there is beauty in life amongst the poop? Can definitely be times where it feels like there's far more poop than beauty, kinda like you're swimming in it trying to keep your head above it and don't have time to be distracted by stuff like flowers. Sorry for the graphic imagery :) What just came to mind is - You can stop to smell the roses so you get a break from the stench of the s#it that's going on in life :) A welcomed distraction.

Don't you just love the feeling of 'invalidation' (not). You can feel it run through your body. For me, it starts churning around the solar plexus, works up to the chest area and into the throat and then triggers the maniac in me, who goes on some internal rant at full volume. At this point the sage in me may dictate 'Shh, be careful what you vent/let out in the way of words, for you don't want to go burning bridges or emotionally annihilating people'. Praise the sage :)

The other day, I felt the overwhelming need to meditate on inspiration before I felt my head would explode and/or I'd permanently sink back into depression. A little ways into a bit of constructive channeling, what came to mind was 'Suppression, oppression, depression' (there's that magic 3 again). By the way, I've nothing against constructive lock downs, I just can't tolerate destructive ones. Example of the magic 3: I love going for walks with my 16 and 18yo, good for our mind/body/spirit. I have to suppress this need and suppress my feelings, thanks to a somewhat oppressive government who can't see this as a mental health exercise. Carefully achieved, this walk's not a problem. Apply suppression and oppression to many aspects of life right now and the result is depression. This is how we naturally work.

Can you feel all 3 in a number of ways?

Hi therising and anyone reading. Apologies for my slow reply.

I didn't think of the flowers as a reminder there are still good things happening. But I do now. Thank you.

Number 3. I have 3 children. My son stayed with his dad earlier this year after they'd had a fall out years ago. They fellout again few weeks ago so he is home again. It is so nice. The house is fuller, family feel complete again. His dad has prepared meals and nothing for the kids. I can make sure he is eating well again. I've had to rearrange bedroom/ work spaces again bur it's ok. I like my new workspace. I feel calmer where it is now.

Alot going on with work. Rather than stress I'm choosing to be grateful for my job and the ability to learn new things. I can work from home occasionally if needed in the future which makes things easier for me.

I've never meditated on anything. I might give it a try.

Cmf x