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Forums / Staying well / Switching mindsets

Topic: Switching mindsets

  1. white knight
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    28 March 2017

    We read so many examples in these pages about lack of motivation. Depression, stress, worthlessness and so on, all reasons that we feel lethargic, in a rut, motionless.

    I dont know where this came from, my technique of "reverse switching" as I call it, but I guess its my drive for the end result.

    Example. I've purchased paint and brushes to paint our house. I'm watching TV. its ideal weather but I cant be bothered starting the paint project. As soon as I say to myself "I cant be bothered painting today"...I immediately do the opposite!! I rise off the chair and withing 4-5 minutes I have paint on a wall.

    Once that occurs, I feel better than sitting on the chair so the mental effort of doing something I dont want to do only lasts 4 minutes. The enjoyment is direct progress (paint on the wall) followed by a great feeling a wall is completed.

    However if I drove myself to paint one coat on the whole house with a second coat needed, it would be too long before I'd feel any sense of achievement. Hence two coats on one wall first. Stand back and admire. By the time one coat on one wall is finished a second coat can be applied.

    You can see why mentally it becomes a snowball effect.

    Once finished I pack the paint away. Then a while later I noticed a small wooden fence hasnt been painted..."oh, I forgot that...I'll do it another time"...bang! Its a negative thought, I'll do it now! The switch effect is used automatically again. Simply not allowing my own mindset of the "easy road" to take hold.

    Professional athletes do this. A swimmer swims 100 laps of a pool, as he/she is on that last lap, switch effect means "I'll do an extra 10 laps now".

    There is one proviso, one potential problem, those extra baby steps can over extend you, cause more tiredness and be counter productive. Take breaks.

    On building sites for example you'll never have tradespersons work all day without breaks. The reason is they would work less effectively with less quantity and quality of work at the end of the day.

    So try the switch effect, a total u-turn with tasks. Take rest periods always aware of using the switch effect regularly.

    The "switch effect"isnt easy, its a learned thing...a thing that shines with habit. So expect yourself to be challenged...by yourself!. But it can be an great addition to the positive snowball you'll develop that can change your life around.

    Let me know if you do this already or if you have tried it.

    Tony WK

    2 people found this helpful
  2. CMF
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    29 March 2017 in reply to white knight

    Tony,

    Another great post. I like this ' However if I drove myself to paint one coat on the whole house with a second coat needed, it would be too long before I'd feel any sense of achievement. Hence two coats on one wall first. Stand back and admire. By the time one coat on one wall is finished a second coat can be applied." I painted my house last year with my daughters help. We did one room at a time. Painted one coat in one room, then did the second coat and put the room back in order before moving on to the next room. Our goal was one room per day. It saved us having the whole house in a mess and the accomplishment each day encouraged me to keep going - room by room.

    It'a amazing how we feel better once we have completed the task we have been avoiding. This is where i find making a list of jobs i would like to do quite useful. Not only do i get satisfaction out of completing the job, I feel accomplished when i can cross it off the list. It's off the list and out of my mind - double whammy!

    i did read something recently about doing small jobs straight away. I am guilty of letting dishes pile up in the sink. if it is only going to take a few minutes to wash a couple of dishes i now try to do them straight away instead saying "i'll leave them till after diner". Of course after dinner I have a sink full of dishes and dread the thought of doing them all.

    CMF

  3. white knight
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    29 March 2017 in reply to CMF

    Exactly CMF (ps I like CMF)

    And to complete one room is tolerable with rewards immefiate unlike painting the whole house iternally with furniture everywhere.A good example.

    If practiced this mindset change starts to become automatic. As long as we dont become workaholics which is the other extreme.

    Tony WK

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  4. Doolhof
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    17 July 2017 in reply to white knight

    Hi Tony,

    I'm connecting here as you mentioned this thread to me.

    If only it was as easy as you seem to find it.

    On my desk I have letters I have not answered since Christmas to friends I have been corresponding with overseas for 30 years. Usually I answer them within a week. I look at those letters and almost feel physically ill. Something in me stops me from answering them.

    There are times I need to phone someone. I look at the phone and I can't even touch it. I have to back away. The thought of picking it up and making the call horrifies me.

    I know that exercising and walking will help my back and muscle pains. Some days I end up going to bed crying as I can't get myself out the door to go for a walk or I can't find the determination, desire, motivation or what ever you want to call it to do what I know will be beneficial.

    It seems once my mind tells me I can't do something, I just don't know how to go about trying to do it even if I want to do it.

    My DR asked me why I don't go walking every day, I told him it is because I can't get myself to put my shoes on, to get myself out the door, let alone go for a walk.

    If I knew how to turn all of that around I would feel a whole lot better about myself and life and be a fitter person!

    Any suggestions?

    Cheers from Mrs. D.

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  5. white knight
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    17 July 2017 in reply to Doolhof

    Mrs Dools

    I wish I could reach through my phone, hug you and chat.

    Of course many of my threads are theoretical based on my own mind and how I've got it working, to overcome my challenges. ..maybe not for you

    Motivation for us mentally ill, especially when physical restrictions and associated pain is added and other challenges like relationships are near impossible.

    What I often do is make my challenges easily achievable. Eg those xmas letters...just do one. The next will be easier.

    I worked with a guy. He told me he didnt have the endurance to paint the outside of his house. Six months later I visited his place and noticed half the house was painted. I questioned him. He said

    "You know when we spoke about me not having the endurance to paint my house..Well that evening I decided to paint one weatherboard every day. It takes 15 minutes and now 6 months later my house is half painted"

    He found a way. This thread is like that. Everyday you cant put your runners on. One day you'll feel better and you hopefully will switch your mindset and just do it. Even if you dont do your walk....you have already achieved progress.

    Tony WK

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  6. Doolhof
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    18 July 2017 in reply to white knight

    Hi Tony,

    Thanks. A hug and a chat would be excellent.

    I just wrote heaps more, but I have deleted it, as it was so incredibly negative and self destructive. I don't need to travel down that path.

    Tomorrow I may try to answer one of the letters I have on the kitchen table, I have moved my correspondence there so it is right in front of me each time I walk past.

    Today I did manage to go for two short walks. My physio wants me to do four a day for my back, hips and legs. It was pouring with rain and I came home feeling like a drowned rat. The wind was so strong it blew my umbrella inside out.

    Hopefully I will find Determination, Motivation, and what ever else I need to help me achieve stuff.

    There is obviously a lot of muddled messages in my brain that need a bit of attention and sorting out.

    Thanks Tony

    Cheers from B

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  7. Guest_128
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    18 July 2017 in reply to white knight

    Great tool to have Tony,

    For me I can't stand still, I get very frustrated if I don't have projects to do.

    About 6yrs ago I was admitted to hospital and had all meds taken of me. New meds where started including one for ADHD. This one keeps me going I can't stay idol,I am sure it has keep me going.

    There for I don't get depressed like staying in bed,not eating, or completely shutting myself away. I have had times in maybe a hyper state thinking and nearly stopping.

    Thats enough my ramble,just saying I agree get up of ya ass and move!!!!

    Later

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  8. quirkywords
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    18 July 2017 in reply to white knight

    Tony,

    I am not sure if this is the switching mindsets but I make lists as I procrastinate. Lists help me divide things into small tasks and the cross them off. I put things I like doing on my list as well.

    I know for me the thought of doing things is worse than actually doing it, except for tax!!

    Thanks for an interesting thread.

    Quirky

  9. white knight
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    18 July 2017 in reply to quirkywords

    Thanks everyone for their comments.

    Switching mindsets is something I came up with one day to defy my own mind. You know the feeling, sitting, runnets staring at you on the floor with their tongues hanging out! "I want a walk"! They cry!

    So just as you decide not to go, you refer to a previous pledge and reverse your easier decision and go! Just do it!.

    Decisions...not thinking!

    Tony WK

  10. Doolhof
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    19 July 2017 in reply to white knight

    Ah Tony,

    If only it was that easy all of the time! What a blessing that would be.

    For now, I will go and tether up "Motivation" and "Determination" before they run away from me again!

    Cheers all from Mrs. D.

  11. white knight
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    19 July 2017 in reply to Doolhof

    I do understand the level of difficulty Mrs Dools.

    We have no other option but to try.

    Tony WK

  12. Doolhof
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    19 July 2017 in reply to white knight

    Hey White Knight,

    I managed to lasso "Determination" and "Motivation" today! I managed to make it to my massage on time, encouraged myself to go for a walk in a park even though it felt like it was minus 10 degrees and then had a chat with some ladies in the craft group while I tried to knit.

    Returned home and forced myself out the door before I had a chance to get comfortable and had another 20 minute walk.

    Home again and those jolly letters were glaring at me, so I managed to answer one of them. That was a huge achievement for me.

    Tomorrow afternoon I have an appointment with the lady who is encouraging me to find employment thanks to our friends at Centrelink who will not accept another medical certificate from my G.P.

    Hopefully she will have already caught a hold of "Motivation" for me and will explain how this all works.

    I'm also hoping my eyes won't leak too much during the appointment like they did last time! Guess that is what tissues are for! (Or in the case of niece when she was about 3, she used the bottom of my skirt! I don't think the employment lady would appreciate that too much!)

    Cheers from Mrs. D.

  13. white knight
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    19 July 2017 in reply to Doolhof

    Mrs D

    I'm so proud. You did it!

    Tony WK

  14. Doolhof
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    21 July 2017 in reply to white knight

    Hi Tony WK and All,

    Yesterday in the Op Shop I found a book amongst the donations I was sorting called " Live More Of Your Life, The Wellness Way. It is from the 1990's and is called a "Life.Be in it." book. I started to read it in bed last night and was soon nodding off!

    The little I did read sounded interesting and helpful. I will sit at the table some time over the weekend and read more of it underlining helpful bits.

    I do know there is so much more I can do to help myself, I need to find a way to tell my brain and body that is what I am going to do and then do it!

    You are right Tony, I do need to switch my mindset, I need to work on how to change the controls to make that happen!

    I'm going to be out all day today so while I am driving around I can think about ways to put more helpful ways of living into practice. Not always an easy thing to do when your depression makes you feel like it is time to give up and all your muscles feel like they are yelling at you causing painful fibromyalgia.

    One step at a time right?

    Cheers Tony and All, from Mrs. D.

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  15. quirkywords
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    21 July 2017 in reply to white knight

    Tony, there was a segment on ABC radio a few afternoons ago about changing mindsets and about current react changes into it. It was very interesting. I thought how topical this thread was.

    Thanks

    Quirky

  16. white knight
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    21 July 2017 in reply to quirkywords

    Hi quirky

    I missed it. Am on holidays in Queensland currently and we dont listen to the radio.

    No doubt there will be people thst think about similar topics. My threads and answers are from my own thoughts. Ive read only maybe 6 books in my life. I havent got the patience to read.

    Mrs D. As individuals we all have different motivational ways that work. For me if I plan a walk the next day having short term memory issues means I'll forget. So I place my runners outside the back door to remind me.

    Writing things down doesnt help I forget to read it.

    Many years ago I decided to walk 10km a day. Initially I drove 5km in my car so I knew where to turn around. I then walked the 5km and because I was 5km from home I had no choice but to walk back!

    Had I walked 10 times around my block that was one kilometers long I would weakened after 3 km and walked indoors.

    I realised I was fooling my brain to believing I was walking only 5km but then had to walk home making it 10.

    Doesnt make sense

    Tony WK

  17. Guest_128
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    22 July 2017 in reply to white knight

    Hi Tony, I do hope it's warmer up there and you are both having a great adventure.

    You are so gifted with your knowledge,Thankyou so much for the time you put in here for everyone.

    today and most I find that I am switching my mindsets so very quickly,like I fight myself keep thinking everything is stuffed and what's the point doing things.

    Eg clean the kitchen,what for it will just get messy again,

    do some gardening,what for no one cares

    talk to family member,just turns to

    Do house renos ,no one happy

    so I just keep plodding along thinking wtf for

    Later

  18. white knight
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    22 July 2017 in reply to Guest_128

    Hi later

    Thanks for your post.

    Many things in life are a balance. Get the balance wrong and its a downhill boring ordeal.

    Eg. Our once a year holiday caravanning Vic to Qld has hurdles. Being pensioners there are financial constraints, car and van preparation, we have clothes washing and finding water, dump points and so on. At the end of the day the trip itself must be worth all these hurdles or it isnt worth our while.

    Same with the home challenges we face. One can put 6 hours in a garden and no one notices any difference. Depending on your family members some family structures can be tedious. So here are some ideas to counter feeling negative about things.

    When doing gardening set aside some time to change one area radically. If there us great change eg a large bush is removed, you will feel a big change has occured fir some time. Big impact, big satisfaction

    Cook several meals at one time (we use a slow cooker). Freeze them. Twice a week dont cook just reheat. And once a week take away. Then youve halved the days you need to clean the kitchen.

    Delegate. We tire ourselves by doing more than our fair share. Ask someone to put the rubbish out or clean the kitchen.

    If you take these small steps slowly the balance of chores and recreation swings around. I did all this in 1990. I worked 3 jobs so my then wi d e could remain a stay at home mum. But she was lazy. I delegated chores for her (not in a bissy way) and eventually got one night off a week to play volleyball. That sport rejuvenated me and kept me fit and gave me social interaction.

    It isnt that easy. But small changes can tip the balance of a life mundane to a life worth living.

    And thanks for your appreciation.

    Later, you can google:

    Topic: the balance of your life- beyondblue

    Tony WK

    1 person found this helpful
  19. Guest_128
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    24 July 2017 in reply to white knight

    I have had a gut full of this bs!

    I am not sitting around waiting for some magic to strike me lucky.

    I AM SWITCHING MINDSETS.

    Ready set get up and GO

    Later

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  20. white knight
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    24 July 2017 in reply to Guest_128

    Later,

    Let us know how you went.

    I find that when I think about the process of a task it hindets me. I just keep moving as much as I can.

    Tony WK

  21. Guest_128
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    24 July 2017 in reply to white knight

    Hi Tony,

    This morning I was feeling rather flat,trying to think of ways how to fix things ie marriage,children,house,meet new friends,how to post properly on here,round and round it went. I could feel myself being pulled under.

    two choices, be pulled down more and feel even worse OR get of my butt and just keep swimming.

    so,I got out of my ugys,opened all the windows,made the bed,shut all kids doors,put the radio on (loud) did three loads of washing,vacuumed,cleaned kitchen,half cooked dinner (silverside and vege) watered garden,cleaned out chooks,cleaned fire out and started. Made rock cakes,did some ironing,spent time with my son. I might of forget something.

    Thi s was all great cause I was busy and I forced myself and I didn't spiral down.

    Problem is I haven't fixed any problems.

    Do call in on your way home,free camping 😃

    Later

  22. white knight
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    24 July 2017 in reply to Guest_128

    Later,

    You did exceptionally well. All those tasks...wow!

    In some ways we are alone with our mental illness. It isnt fair to put expectations on our partners to understand us ans be supportive to us when they havent experienced a mental illness themselves.

    A petson from Mongolia can explain what its like to live there, unless we visit we'll never really "get it".

    So that means you can do all of these chores but to seek some personal reward it has to also come from you. It is fair for you to say "if I switch my mindset and do these tasks today...I'm going to visit a cafe and have a coffee and read the newspaper ". Instead of "I've done all these chores my partner better notice"!

    A friend of mine said "Tony, you have to carry your own cross".

    Since you've started posting here I've noticed a remarkable improvement in your communication Later. You are asking more questions and others are noticing your sense of humour.

    You belong here. You are advancing. Good on you.

    Tony WK

  23. Guest_128
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    25 July 2017 in reply to white knight

    Hi Tony,

    You make me feel stronger everyday.

    I think you need a thread or maybe there is already.

    You talk the opposite to how we think,bit like my black/white mindset. Maybe you now think like the others?

    Nah,once struck by lighting never the same.

    I have never thought of doing stuff for me. It has all been for them,and yes when I don't get appreciation I feel I have failed.

    hope all is good with you,and Thankyou

  24. white knight
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    25 July 2017 in reply to Guest_128

    Later

    Thankyou

    And old man told me once " the best mountains are climbed alone...and if others want to understand us they better get their hiking boots on"

    Feelings of personal worth is a good feeling. To value yourself, pampet yourself and be comfortable watching a bee farming for nectar, an eagle soaring the warm air or giggling at newspaper cartoons as you sip thst coffee.

    Life can be sooo good.

    Later, you are as special, just as much as anyone else.

    Tony WK

  25. Guest_128
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    29 August 2017 in reply to white knight

    I AM SO ANGRY I JUST FOUND THIS!!!!!!!

    Every day since this thread started I am constantly telling myself change my thoughts.

    I stumbled across this looking for someone here that has been crying out for me.

    Was going to ask where my big guns where ,then I found you.

    not funny,you made me cry again.😥

    Dory

  26. Guest_128
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    29 August 2017 in reply to white knight

    This thread takes me to a major core,

    With strength,courage, and wisdom we CAN control ourselves!

    1 person found this helpful
  27. white knight
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    29 August 2017 in reply to Guest_128

    Yes Dory, our potential is never realised by ourselves. ..it often takes someone else to create the spark that fires us into an idea we never thought possible.

    I suppose its like...the eady way is to lounge around and not go for that walk. Then do the opposite.

    Practice makes perfect

    Tony WK

  28. Guest_128
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    29 August 2017 in reply to white knight

    It is so nice to see you today,

    you are my spark

    Dory

    1 person found this helpful
  29. white knight
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    30 August 2017 in reply to Guest_128

    Dory

    What are the weapons that can fight mental illness?

    Therapy, medication, hospitalization, other people around us helping out, talking, basic support, job changes.

    We tend to not realise that insight, the ability for us to know, be aware of our illness and the effect it has on us and others is one of the greatest assets we can have.

    But insight is one thing, acting on it is a step rarely taken.

    We are usually unaware or incapable of finding solutions to our own mental illness. We are too fixated to enduring the symptoms to consider solutions.

    However, with a positive mindset we can overcome many of lifes challenges. As long as we are not unrealistic in our expectations because then its "fake" positivity like a salesman setting targets too high.

    With being positive you can achieve so much more than normally you would.

    Regardless of my positivity I still have to endure my down periods in life and with my depression. But when out of that Im a fighter.

    If I wasnt a fighter it would all be a sad and struggling life. Being a fighter helps balance the seesaw of plusses and minuses. It helps me survive.

    Google

    Topic: 30 minutes can change your life- beyondblue

    Tony WK

  30. Guest_128
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    30 August 2017 in reply to white knight

    Tony,

    The way you have control over your brain,is the key to control our MH.

    I know you have bad times,and maybe that is a healthy thing,as hard and destructive it is.

    This control,being,maybe calmer,I believe is something we people cry,scream,rebel ,die for. I don't think the others even know about it.

    IWhen reading into the forums it becomes very clear to me that they are trying So dame hard to gain control of themselves.

    You have often patiently given me the flip side on my life,

    So now I know why you are called

    White Knight

    YOU SHINE THE LIGHT

    DORY

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