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Forums / Staying well / Weekend loneliness and isolation

Topic: Weekend loneliness and isolation

10 posts, 0 answered
  1. Abbie121
    Abbie121 avatar
    30 posts
    29 June 2019

    Hey everyone

    Just wanted to get your thoughts and insights about coping with loneliness and feelings of isolation, particularly on the weekends. Having recently come out of a long-term relationship and just starting to feel somewhat okay about that and trying to move forward, I find myself sitting at home alone every Saturday night and it's starting to get to me. I miss the closeness and intimacy of being at home with a loved one - I'm a homebody at heart. I have some friends who I sometimes initiate planning an outing with, but I find that if I don't do that, they don't ask me, so I'm alone most of the time when not at work. I know the common advice is to join groups, start new hobbies etc, but I'd prefer to be comfortable at home a lot of the time - and am definitely not ready for a new partner or to date.

    Would love to hear any advice or tips people have or if you've been in a similar situation.

    x

    1 person found this helpful
  2. Birdy77
    Valued Contributor
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    Birdy77 avatar
    2299 posts
    29 June 2019 in reply to Abbie121
    Dear Abbie,

    Saturday nights can be hard can't they?

    I'm home alone tonight.

    I'm not in exactly the same situation as you (my partner is away at the moment), but I certainly have been in you shoes in the past, many many times, so I understand.

    I'm glad you've come here because even if nothing else, it helps you to see that others are alone tonight, you can talk to then if you want ... there's a social zone here and a virtual cafe if you want to join in.

    I am cooking a satay for myself tonight, and am thinking about rearranging the furniture in my back living room ... I was supposed to be going out to see some live music tonight, but life happened and I'm not going.

    It's a tricky situation you're in, but one that you can so totally overcome - it just takes a bit of getting used to.

    It can get to be kind of nice to enjoy your own company again, and learn how to just be you.

    Sometimes it sucks, but sometimes it's nice.

    What do you think you could do tonight to feel good, just in your own company?

    🌻birdy
    4 people found this helpful
  3. Alexlisa
    Alexlisa avatar
    196 posts
    30 June 2019 in reply to Abbie121

    Hello Abbie

    I can definitely empathise. I spend pretty much every night alone, which I’m ok with generally, but the weekends can be pretty hard. Last night, like you, I was feeling lonely and wishing there was someone around to just spend time with.

    It’s a tricky situation because I don’t think there are any easy answers. But there are a few things that I’ve found that help. Something I do is try to make Saturday night feel different from the other nights. Kind of special. I might buy some nice cheeses, olives, crackers and something nice to drink. Kind of like the food you’d have if you were catching up with people. Then I pick a movie I’ve wanted to see and just relax. It’s about making it a bit indulgent I guess. Spoiling yourself. It could be anything that would make it unique to the rest of the week.

    Another thought I had was that you could organise something, once a month say, where your friends come over for a specific purpose. Like ‘Abbie’s monthly game night’ or Abbie’s monthly dinner party’. I have a friend who does this. He has a group of friends over and cooks for them, or they all bring a dish of food to share. If you made it a regular thing I think people are more likely to commit and it’ll be something to look forward to and plan for. I’d love to do this, if I had friends.

    That’s all I can think of right now. I hope it’s a little helpful. And just know that you’re not alone in feeling this way.

    Take care

    Alexlisa

    4 people found this helpful
  4. Trudie Cross
    Trudie Cross avatar
    1 posts
    6 July 2019 in reply to Abbie121

    Hi Abbie,

    Literally going through the same situation right now. Just got out of a long relationship where he was my friend, bestfriend and boyfriend. You get used to the continuous interaction with a person when you are in a relationship. But it is so difficult when they aren't around.

    What i have started to do is meditate. Everytime i have feelings of anxiety or discomfort, I acknowledge it and breath through it. This has helped me so much. I also cook something nice, buy a great bottle of wine and watch a good tv show. It's important to acknowledge the feeling and learning how to manage it.

    Loving yourself after a long term relationship is one of the hardest things to do. But this is so important for moving forward in life and taking care of yourself.

    Hopefully this advice helps!

    3 people found this helpful
  5. Yankee1471
    Yankee1471 avatar
    1 posts
    7 July 2019 in reply to Abbie121
    I know how you feel. I don't drink and I don't really enjoy going out with groups. I am starting to have trouble sleeping. It's funny how everything seems fine in the day and then at night it hits. The world just seems so big and I don't know... empty? Maybe that's not the right word. I have zero friends or family in Australia. Sometimes I just feel so sad. I don't know how to help. I have two jobs and I am outwardly very together
    but I swear sometimes I just feel so alone and heavy hearted. Honestly I just want to sleep but it's 1230am and here I am.. When I was a kid I would surround my bed with my stuffed animals and pretend they were protecting me lol Is there an adult version of this? To tell with it maybe I'll get a stuffed bear. This feeling sucks. I feel you.
    5 people found this helpful
  6. Abbie121
    Abbie121 avatar
    30 posts
    19 October 2019 in reply to Birdy77
    Thank you birdy.. x
    1 person found this helpful
  7. Abbie121
    Abbie121 avatar
    30 posts
    19 October 2019 in reply to Alexlisa
    Thank you for your thoughts and suggestions.. x
    2 people found this helpful
  8. wavefree
    wavefree avatar
    4 posts
    21 October 2019 in reply to Birdy77
    Hi I don't know what it is about weekends but thats when I feel the loneliest. Which is strange because these days, lots of things are happening then, shops open, movies. Sundays I find especially hard. so what I do is spoil myself, buy flowers, walking, having a special meal. I feel better when I'm with people. I recently visited family in Melbourne and didn't feel depressed or anxious, however when I came home, these feelings were here waiting for me. Up until 6 months ago, I was fine living on my own. Then since a family trauma, I've struggled. I know I'll recover, taking time. Reading others stories certainly help.
  9. wavefree
    wavefree avatar
    4 posts
    21 October 2019 in reply to Trudie Cross

    Hi, Do you have any advice on how to meditate? Or where to find information? I would appreciate any advice. All the best and thank you.

  10. Abbie121
    Abbie121 avatar
    30 posts
    21 October 2019 in reply to wavefree

    Hi wavefree, hope you're going okay. That's good that you spoil yourself on weekends, that is a good idea! I try to do some of those things too. I also agree that meditation is a helpful practice to get into, and I am trying to do that daily. There are lots of phone/ipad apps that guide you through meditation sessions, and they're really good - like Calm, Headspace, Smiling Mind. See what you think of those.

    Take care.

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