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Forums / Staying well / When all is lost....what can you do? Be radical?

Topic: When all is lost....what can you do? Be radical?

  1. white knight
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    white knight avatar
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    12 June 2014

    I look back on my disruptive life and wonder ow I survived.  I joined the RAAF at 17 lasted till I was 20. By then I'd owned 20 cars on impulsive buying and the debts that went with them. Then a taxi driver, assembly line worker, cleaner, spare parts sales, prison officer and by 30yo I'd had about 50 jobs and 15 professions. I had no idea I wasnt well. Bipolar type 2, dysthymia anxiety and depression and I'm near certain ADHD had a lot of presence as well.

    All of this came to a head in 1996 with a plan for suicide. But I survived it- I turned it around...how? A week later my wife and I separated. I fell into depression while living in a 3 metre caravan but survived....when I purchased a block of land and built my own house. And so the unsuspected routine kept going. Frankly I think two things saved me....a change of direction/interest and consideration for others in my life.

    So lets put suicide aside.  You are depression or anxious, up and down mood or family and friends have abandoned you.  Whatever your crisis you are in despair, at the end of your tether and you dont have an answer.  Through default and luck I found the answers to my crisis each and every time it came about. What about you? What can YOU do to slip out of your situation and predicament? To do a u-turn with your life and save it.?

    Let's look at what is at your disposal.  Environment- I knew a guy once, a railway worker that was heavily depressed. He lived alone. One day he didnt turn up for work. A fortnight later he rang me and told me he had taken a job as a jackaroo in Queensland.  A year later he rang me to tell me how happy he was. Just one example.  Friends and family- if they are causing you grief then take action. We are talking about your health here. In some cases - survival. Take time out or expel them from your life or somewhere in between. Work- chase another job. Social media- cut out the people you have never met.

    I'm saying whatever it takes to allow your mind to be cared for, to rid it of negative forces and situations. I'm not saying it's easy, it isnt. There is a lot of fear out there among people to be radical but I'm suggesting that when there is no other option, that all reasonable options have been exhausted....its time to rethink the basics of your life. The alternative isnt an option, when remaining in your current situation is not healthy.

    Perhaps others have more suggestions to avoid falling into the hollow well of hopelessness.

     

    15 people found this helpful
  2. JessF
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    13 June 2014 in reply to white knight

    Hello white knight, I have to say this could be the best thing I've read on this forum. You are so right, as much as some of us are more prone to depression and mental illness, it doesn't magically appear out of nowhere. There are many things in our environments that can contribute to a poor quality of life - be it bad relationships, bad jobs, broken families and friendships.  Some things we can change, and some we can't, and some of the things we THINK we can't change we actually CAN, but we are too afraid to, or it simply hasn't occurred to us an an option. 

    I'm going to split the difference and say, haha, be conservatively radical!

    2 people found this helpful
  3. white knight
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    13 June 2014 in reply to JessF

    Hi JessF,   thanks for your reply.

    Conservative radical?  wow.  Never thought of that. It's spot on. That's exactly where I was coming from. Sure, make the changes to preserve your life/lifestyle/family commitments as well as make the changes you need to kick start your mental state moving it forward.

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  4. JillCameTumbling
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    19 June 2014 in reply to white knight

    Wishing Bb had a "like" button :-)

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  5. white knight
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    19 June 2014 in reply to JillCameTumbling

    Thankyou Jillcametumbling

    I wonder what the effects of instinct has? We often tell each other- "go by your instincts".

    But instincts can be blurred or they hit brick walls.  Procrastinating would likely be a brick wall.. Only add to the confusion I suspect.

    As far back as 1980 when, after 3 years as a prison officer my instinct told me to get out of that job, that environment. Not for any other reason but inside I was a marshmellow that had no emotional protection. For this reason alone I was totally unsuitable.  For years I regretted not leaving earlier because by staying longer than desired I subjected my mind to a few terrible events.

    Another example- My wife has a dear friend. This friend has many issues like myself but by no fault of her own when she visits and becomes teary eyed about her abusive past my instinct tells me to get up and walk outside the house to clear my head. I dont make this obvious to her etc but if I didnt do this I'd be heavily effected for some time.  It brings me down. Writing on this forum is a lot different. I cant stop when I like...I have some control.

    If someone has a partner that is domineering, would that situation suppress ones instinct?  If they constantly wanted to get out of the relationship but felt mentally overpowered then this would be going against their instincts like going against a tide....could this lead to a worsening of a mental condition?

    So many questions.  I'm wondering, in terms of taking radical steps to relieve a situation whether one should run with their instincts or leave it and swim against the tide for the rest of their days? Like living in hell and with fear.

    For me, I ran with my instincts in nearly every situation that I faced and nearly all were correct decisions. They appeared to others to be radical, unwise, not thought out enough, knee jerking. But those people didnt have the bipolar, they werent with the anxiety and they werent ME.

    Notice I said "to others". I often do that. Compare decisions I've made by instinct on what 'normal' people would think. If its one thing I've learned to do lately its to realise and accept that those with a mental illness are unique and not of the "inner popular core" in terms of toleration, behaviour, coping, emotion, reaction, communication etc and therefore are of the fringe of society, often bullied, discarded, ignored, ostracised, gossiped about, discriminated against etc.

    Perhaps we should rely on our instincts more?

  6. Struggler
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    27 June 2014 in reply to white knight
    Hi White Knight

    Excellent article!  Not sure about radical but your suggestions for dealing with an unhealthy situation is no doubt logical.

    We have control in many situations.  For example, we can purge toxic people from our lives, especially if they are merely friends and I did that.  We can remove ourselves from an upsetting environment.  I walked out of dinner party once.

    When it comes to our jobs that we rely on to feed our families and pay bills, it is not that simple.  We have to endure the toxic environment until we find another job to go to so we still have the roof over our head.  Unfortunately for me, I landed in toxic workplace after toxic workplace.  Was I incompetent? No.  Was I a trouble maker?  No. Was I lazy?  Certainly not.  Did I offend people? No again.  

    I am 59 and dealing with the issue that I'll not have a proper job outside home again.  Fortunately for me, I can afford to live on my assets now if I also do some work at home business.  This is exactly what is happening with me now.  I am finding peace and my mental health improves because I am no longer subject to workplace bullying and discrimination.  Toxic work place is the only contributing factor to my depression and anxiety.  

    So, yes, we can change our situation but it is not that straightforward sometimes.  I have only been able to do so now after so many years suffering.  

    Struggler

  7. HelenM
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    27 June 2014 in reply to Struggler

    Hi White Knight

    I find your ideas really interesting. I have managed to get rid of some people from my life who I found bad for ,me. It took me a long time to realise that I have a right to do that. Finally in 2008 I left my job after bullying and a total lack of managers to understand my needs (they really couldn't get it). 

    I like that you see 'normal' people as different. So often when I've said in desperation, I just want to be normal, Doctors and mental health care workers have said, What's normal or nobody's normal. Live in my head for a while and they'll know what normal isn't.

    Helen

  8. white knight
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    27 June 2014 in reply to HelenM

    Hi ladies,  thankyou for your replies.

    "live in my head for a while and they'd see what normal isnt"..  Too right. I've observed people for a long time in my past 90 jobs (now retired). Some people never explode with rage, are the same demeanor every day guaranteed. I wouldnt know how that would feel except that it would be darn boring lol.

    Yes struggler, the workplace, more than 50% are toxic and have some degree of  bullying. It can be the only destructive thing in your life and it can be enough to bring you down.  "The right" to make the decisions to walk away from a dinner party that has turned ugly towards you is something we learn...or suffer from the hands of the naive. Those that want a "one up" on you.

    I've noticed on Facebook there are at times postings that include the words "crazy". I'm being a little sensitive here but society has a long long way to go. We mentally ill, beautiful people of the world are still pigeon holed, still categorised as being "not one of them".  It hurts. As much hurt as an African American called the "N" word and other examples.

    This is where 'instinct' plays its part.  We have to abide by our immediate reaction or we take risks. Taking risks for some can bring with it many negative thoughts. Suicide is still largely an unknown commodity, what triggers it. 

    Perhaps not acting on instinct is one on the list of triggers. Some people might subject themselves to ALL forms of abuse and not act upon them. Be the punching bag of all and sundry. I'm just wondering if these poor souls could have a chance of being saved by developing some defence strategies....by using their instincts.?

  9. geoff
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    28 June 2014 in reply to white knight

    dear WK, forgive me for not replying to your post, because you have been through so much plus your experience in the field has taught you a great deal, and this includes your life experiences.

    You pose a good rational when you say ' I found the answers to my crisis each and every time it came about' and also ' whether one should run with their instincts or leave it and swim against the tide for the rest of their day', this so true in hindsight but when we are struggling with our own depression, we don't have the capability to even fathom this rational, then we are sucked into believing that we will never get any better.

    I am the same as Struggler fortunately I do have some assets that keep my going, as relying on centrelink, but then it's catch 22 with them. Geoff.

  10. white knight
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    28 June 2014 in reply to geoff

    Hi Geoff,

    Yes, I'm aware that when we are in the depression 'zone' rational thought is not even ...well thought about because we havent the capacity to do so. This leads to the belief or even the conclusion that medication and therapy are the two things left that can be effective during these bouts.

    I suppose instinct can be more effective when not in a depression period. To ward off potentially hurtful effects. The crystal ball we really dont have....could we develop one?  

    I dont know.  We are creative but not fortune tellers.

    1 person found this helpful
  11. HelenM
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    28 June 2014 in reply to white knight

    As you say acting on instinct isn't necessarily good in a depression. In my first and absolute worst depression I was disgusted that the health service wouldn't help me to die.  One of the good things in depression or just in the human psyche is that we work out the best way to do something based on what we believe are reliable sources. This is what saved me. My facts were wrong and so here I am to tell the tale - Thank God.

    Helen

  12. Doolhof
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    26 June 2017 in reply to white knight

    Hi Tony,

    I'm resurrecting this old thread in relation to a post of yours to me on a different thread.

    Yes, I do feel stuck and unloved in my relationship. Where to from here? I have re read this thread and some of the points I have noted from it are:

    - I can change the direction of my life

    -I can develop and encourage my interests and pursue them

    -I can choose to stay or go

    -I need to consider what I want from life and how I can achieve that

    -Despair can cloud my vision, understanding, perspective and beliefs

    -I can take action to change the things I can change and accept those I can't

    -Am I too afraid to do any of this?

    -Procrastination can have me sitting on the fence...forever

    -Feeling mentally overpowered and controlled isn't a fulfilling way to live

    Quite a lot to think about!

    Cheers from Mrs. D.

    5 people found this helpful
  13. white knight
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    4 July 2017 in reply to Doolhof

    Hi Mrs Dools

    Sorry I missed your post.

    Procrastination?. I'm the opposite hence "be radical" is levelled at those opposite. I see people in their comfort zone, and thats fine but I also see people unhappy and dont understand why they live their only life in a stale relationship or a boring or abusive or dominated lifestyle.

    Then again leaving home at 17 to join the RAAF saw me travel around setting up home where ever. Most people remain in their abode district.

    Focussing on a controlled relationship, all my family members were controlled by my mother, including dad. It was only in 2009 that I was advised by a friend to google

    Queen witch waif hermit

    Only then did I realise the extent of it. Narcassism doesnt need to contain all four traits. Just having the QUEEN is controlling in itself...and that includes men.

    IMO only when one finally leaves the family home can one feel that weight off your shoulders and your dignity or at least your pride seep back in. The result is so overwhelming that people from dominated relationships rarely return because leopard spots dont change.

    My wife is a softy, an animal lover and of course she is beautiful. She is also my princess. And I tell her that regularly

    What I see in some relationships is a lack of praise, affection, respect, care, expectations, workload etc. Yet they remain there. The answers to their problems is not to endure that life with that person. In some of these cases, the victim with the mental illness has a lessening of their depressive symptoms a few weeks after settling into their new abode...

    Once the shock has worn off and one is settled, its a case of learning to take advantage of a new lifestyle, alone and not controlled.

    I hope I've help my friend.

    Tony WK

  14. Doolhof
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    5 July 2017 in reply to white knight

    Hi Tony,

    Thanks for your response. I understand what you are saying. If only it was that easy my friend.

    Some days it would be wonderful if it was as easy to leave as it was when I was 17, left home with a suitcase of clothes and a couple of hundred dollars.

    Lived in a caravan, found work and ended up living the life of a feral for a while.

    Not sure I want to do that at 50 plus. Then again, it might be fun!

    Not really ready for a deep and meaningful about this issue.

    Maybe the grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence for all of us.

    Cheers from Mrs. D.

  15. white knight
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    5 July 2017 in reply to Doolhof

    Dear Mrs Dools

    Of course.

    Take care.

    Tony WK

  16. Doolhof
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    5 July 2017 in reply to white knight

    Hi Dear Tony,

    Just want to let you know I do appreciate your very kind and helpful words.

    Maybe for me, I need to be more radical in my life that I have here. I need to stand up for my own rights, look after myself (in a non self centred way) and make the most of what I do have.

    Mental health issues, continuous chronic pain and low self esteem don't help the journey.

    So it is time for me to rise up like the phoenix and get on with being radical right here where I am!

    Hell Yes!

    Sounds great...now to put it into action! Ha. HA.

    Thanks Tony, Cheers from Mrs. D.

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  17. The Possum
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    7 July 2017 in reply to Doolhof

    Hi Tony

    I just came across this post and although from 2014 it's a great an inspiring read.

    For me personally, I find this is harder to achieve than may be thought.

    In my experience the loss of depression see me so irritable and basically not very rational that I wouldn't want to even think of making any decisions. I know I'd likely regret it.

    It is at these times that I rely on psychologists and people around me to help me better understand the situation I'm in clearly.

    However this comes with great risk. I've had experience with friends who had their own ulterior motive and encouraging me to make decisions that weren't in my best interests.

    I've had family capitalising on my vulnerability when it came to blocking others out of my life (that they didn't like, not me).

    I have also questioned some of the advice psychologists have given. They also seem to want to bandaid my issues with a quick solution. Eg family stresses you at? Just pack up and relocate. That's great and all. But they don't have to live with the reprocussion of that choice do they? But I do.

    I also find when you have so many people relying on you, it's hard to selfishly break free and just do what we want to feel better mentally. I have my own family, kids, husband, ill family.. It gets suffocating here and I do dream about packing my bags and starting fresh. But I simply can't.

    Work wise, I've worked in toxic environments suffered bullying which ultimately resulted in my major depression last year. People in the street still hate me & spread rumours about it. I suffer extreme anxiety from it now.

    When I really thought about what I wanted to be I realised I hated my occupation. I want to he a doctor. I sat the GAMSAT and got the marks, my GPA under and post graduate was high enough, I prepared my portfolio for submission ready to sit the interview.

    How easy do you think it is for a 35 female with two little boys, no income to undertake a gruelling training program & be posted in locations everywhere, working shifts at hospitals.

    Being a doctor is what I want to do. But it's never going to happen. And I don't like me career and settling for jobs that I hate, that bore me and that wear me down.

    But that's just too bad for me. It's too late. And with a mental illness on my record I doubt I'd ever be employable as a doctor.

    Radical might work for some. But it will never work for me. My mental health is always going to suffer for it.

  18. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
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    7 July 2017 in reply to The Possum

    Hi Possum,

    Just read your post.

    Recently I heard that a couple of the Drs at the centre I attend had mayor mental health breakdowns a couple of years ago. They are still working. One of them I see regularly, the compassion this Dr has around my own mental health issues is amazing, I have received such care and attention from this Dr.

    Please don't give up your dream of being a Dr. just yet. I certainly do not know your situation at all, other than what you have shared here. Is it possible for this to become a reality?

    There are many reason why I feel I can't leave. My Christian values and beliefs are tied up in it all as well. Right now I am trying to make the most of the things I do have and am trying to stand up more for myself, make my needs known and will try to take steps to feel more acceptance and comfort in who I am and where I am.

    A small step for me, last night I suggested my husband pick up the remote control himself as it is always closer to him anyway. He usually asks me to pass it to him so he doesn't have to move off his thrown!

    This morning I left him a message asking if he could please hang out the washing. I came home and it was done.

    Small steps to help build up my sense of wellbeing and self worth.

    2 people found this helpful
  19. white knight
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    7 July 2017 in reply to Doolhof

    Hi mrs Dools and Possum

    This thread is one of the most "interpret it yourself and adapt it as you see fit" threads of all.

    It cannot be taken literally. It was meant to display how radical actions can in some situations improve your life and even save it in some circumstances.

    Eg. Some people tolerate toxic people that are never rejected, thrown out of their mentally fragile lives. If they were to be radical and finally move on in life without them, then it would be a radical step, but not necessarily a radical step for someone like me.

    Mrs Dools , telling hubby to retrieve the remote himself was radical. It worked. It might seem subtle but its more significant than it appears. Its a "hey, dont treat me as a slave" statement.

    I had a friend. His marriage was collapsing. He told me he was planning to move interstate far away from his terrible wife. He had young kids. In his case being so radical is to the detriment of his children and ultimately himself. It was also what his wife wanted.

    He agreed with me that if he left and moved to the next town where his wife never shopped, he was in effect being just as radical (in not seeing her, bumping into her) as going interstate. With so many other benefits like his kids still have a dad albeit part time.

    Thats an example of "being radical in a more measured manner".

    Being radical the thread is aimed at those that feel trapped in procrastinating mindset that causes them harm to the point where they see no relief in sight.

    Tony WK

  20. blondguy
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    7 July 2017 in reply to white knight

    Hey Tony...I just noticed your thread especially the 'Radical' term as an offset

    I have read your original post that you wrote in the late 14th century......and its a good one.

    I like how well you summarized your point in your last post as well...

    Just my view on what you mentioned "Being radical the thread is aimed at those that feel trapped in
    procrastinating mindset that causes them harm to the point where they see no relief in sight
    "

    Just my perspective on what you mentioned above

    • never losing touch with our 'inner child'....as in the true meaning
    • Ive just been told that I am 57 going on 14.....That was a huge compliment for me...
    • I am a huge fan of JessF and Possum's posts here with their varying clarity
    • I just have a zero tolerance where taking life too seriously is concerned (even with long term MI)
    • Pride is a poor substitute for intelligence

    I am happy that I have learned the 'art' of being simple instead of being an 'intellectual'

    Our IQ is like a volume control.....we have to turn it down to lessen the volume (impact) of a mental illness not to mention the 'overthinking' that comes with continually having an argument with an overactive brain

    This is a crackerjack thread Tony...Where have you been hiding it? Good1

    My Best

    Paul

  21. The Possum
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    7 July 2017 in reply to Doolhof

    Thanks Mrs D.

    I think you understand me perfectly and I love the way you articulate yourself.

    I have a few friends in the medic sphere and we've often talked about the attitudes that need to change in the profession. Where doctors are afraid to come forward with their mental health issues for fear of stigma and jeopardising their careers. It's a profession that has one of the highest degree of burn out and associated issues.

    It doesn't have to be this way and attitudes are changing. One of my friends at a practice in Melbourne works in an environment where the practice owners embrace it. Many of the doctors at the 17 doctor centre are part time, working two or three days a week to suit their lifestyle and ensure their mental health doesn't suffer for it.

    The notion that we need to be concerned of perusing dreams or goals or over active intelligence because we carry a disease or burden is one I'll never understand. But an opinion I'm happy to accept.

    I'd like to think I can make a difference on the lives of others at the margins of society. Two of the doctors at this practice specialise in young people. The young teenage girl afraid because she is pregnant. The guy in his early 20s struggling with depression and not knowing which way to turn. They only work two days and week but their lives are for filling for them. And this is what counts not what others perceive they should be going because it doesn't work for them.

    These practices are hard to find and obviously where my concern remains with having the condition. Even though I've been told it's not like this everywhere.

    However I'm not sure I could make it work with a young family and hence 'been radical' and my intreptation of the word is not something that I can or am willing to do. Not at this point in time anyhow.

    The thing I love about my psychiatrist is the hope he instillation every time I walk through the door. The hope that we don't need to forgoe our dreams because we have a condition. It's about managing it. My psychiatrist only works 3 days a week himself and surfs the other days! He has found balance for his own mental health and that hasn't involving compromising when forgoing his career due to his condition. I actually admire him (he does a lot of work for disadvanged youth too).

    Running out of words I'll continue on another message.. 😉

  22. The Possum
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    7 July 2017 in reply to Doolhof

    Sorry Mrs D. Ran out of words

    I think radical obviously means different things for different people. When I envisage the word and meaning in my life I see it would relate to massive changes that would impact many eg relocating etc

    For me I'm focussed more on the every day changes that make a difference and help us to achieve greater mental health.

    What you have achieved re:the remote control and pegging out clothes are examples of that. You haven't radically left due to your own values which make you want to stay, but you've recognised that change is needed and you are proactive at making those changes.

    I admire your courage and strength to do this. To not walk away where you might feel deep regret due to your values, but to see that there are changes that can be made which may achieve the result you're looking for. You know full well you could be radical at any time and leave at any time.

    For me it's about making time for myself. Saying to hubby and the kids and other family who rely on me that I am having some time out now. I'm going to go and get a massage, or go for a run or bike ride. This boosts my mental health considerably without walking away.

    My psychiatrist drew a pie chart on his whiteboard and said to me, it's all about balance, it's not about giving up. How are you going to split your pie chart up?

    That became pretty clear to me too. There's room for everything, it's about HOW MUCH room to give. As you can tell I like this dude lol

    Good points Tony and Paul. Like I always say, it's what works for you and you're happy with at the end of the day.

    Well done Mrs D, I wish you all the best. Keep us posted x

  23. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
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    8 July 2017 in reply to white knight

    Hi Tony,

    Great explanation of being radical. Yes, I do see what you are expressing, being bold in not attending to my husband's every wish and demand does make me feel more like a person of worth.

    My being radical in this relationship is to take greater ownership of the person I desire to be without being a doormat all of the time.

    Part of me desires to run away and start again, is that just my depressed and worn down state of mind or what I truly feel?

    For now I will be looking after myself more, try to ensure my own needs are being met and learn to be more empowered.

    A girlfriend has suggested I get dreadlocks...now that would be radical! Ha. Ha. (and no, that is not an option for me, they look great on her but don't think they are quite me.)

    Thanks Tony for further explanation.

    Cheers all from Mrs. D.

  24. Doolhof
    Champion Alumni
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    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
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    Doolhof avatar
    8747 posts
    8 July 2017 in reply to The Possum

    Hi Possum, Tony, Paul and All,

    I have just looked up the word RADICAL in my little thesaurus, the word can mean among other things:

    -essential, extremist, profound, complete, drastic, entire, excessive, extreme, fanatical, severe, sweeping, thorough, violent, fanatic and militant. Mmmm! Quite a few definitions to choose from.

    This morning it is almost 10.00 a.m. I have slept in. I am still in my P.J.s. Hubby will soon be up.

    The fire is not lit. There is no wood ready for the day. Last nights dishes are still in the sink. I haven't cleaned up the lounge after last night. The kitchen table is still littered with my bits and pieces I didn't clean up yesterday. The rubbish has not found its way to the bin. The cat box has not been cleaned.

    Some of these things will need attending to later on as my nieces and their boyfriends are coming for dinner!

    You know what though, my husband will get up and not see any of this! Apart from the fact I have not lit the fire and he will be cold, plus I am using the computer when he will want it for himself.

    Ahh. He is up. Let the fun begin!

    Have a great day everyone, look after yourselves and be RADICAL in your own way.

    Cheers all from Mrs. Dools.

    Great thread Possum, I will get back to that later. Part of me is still working on Empowerment! Cheers.

  25. The Possum
    The Possum avatar
    259 posts
    8 July 2017 in reply to Doolhof

    Haha Mrs D I love it!

    I'm about to be on a radical holiday for two weeks.

    It was surprise I had no idea about. Hubby has sorted every detail organised time off work and let school know.

    I think my husband is pretty radical and has arranges a rad time away lol

    Chat soon and all the best x

  26. white knight
    Community Champion
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    white knight avatar
    9214 posts
    8 July 2017 in reply to The Possum

    Hi all,

    Paul, thanks. The "when all else fails be radical" thread is one of about 150 now but it s one I mention more regularly because so many souls out there with MI arent motivated and would rather remain in a comfort zone and not acknowledge the possibilities of radical action to their lives.

    Another thread, google Topic: the balance of your life- beyondblue is almost the opposite. To balance your spirituality, to balance your life between the fast lane and hermitism existence ..to get those fundamental aspects in tune singing away is to balance your life.

    With regards to fundamentals which includes- harmonic relationship, environment of choice, family calmness with mutual care, career contentment, hobbies and sports etc there might be one topic needing radicalising. Eg you live in a large city like Ballarat. You've never enjoyed the place and you prefer the warmer climate. You go on holiday annually to the Sunshine coast but you'd never considered moving due to family being in Victoria.

    A balance might include a radical change. You might consider selling your Ballarat home, buying an inland home in Queensland which has homes from as little as one third the price. Plus a motorhome. Twice yearly visiting grandchildren in Ballarat for a couple of weeks might work. They in turn visit you.

    Its a radical move that would bring the balance of your own life together in terms of your need for a warmer climate and your mental health which might include a better financial position.

    Being selfish with such decision making can result in a happier person that in turn becomes more considerste because you have then grown your capacity to be so.

    However, feeling "stuck" can result in numerous psych visits weeks apart that might not ever identify the need for radical change.

    A friend of mine worked at Telstra for 26 years. His depression was getting worse. He took a retrenchment package and got his LPG installers license. He now fits gas units to cars in his own business.

    He said to me "all those years in that office I didnt identify the ramifications of constant daily dreary work. I'd wait and wait for the clock to strike 4pm. I was just existing. Now I'm stimulated and Ive reduced my medication".

    Focussing only on psych visits and medication is great but looking outside the square is to enhance your opportunities to improve your mental health.

    My 2c worth.

    Tony WK

  27. blondguy
    Life Member
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    blondguy avatar
    11219 posts
    12 July 2017 in reply to white knight

    Hi Tony

    Thankyou for detailing about 'thinking outside the square' ie...being radical.....

    I love what you wrote...as its so helpful to look through the illness...

    You mentioned "Focussing only on psych visits and medication is great but looking outside the square is to enhance your opportunities to improve your mental health" and " feeling "stuck" can result in numerous psych visits weeks apart that might not ever identify the need for radical change"

    Thanks Tony ....this is a great thread....(150?? thats a huge amount of thread topics..wow)

    My Best

    Paul

    1 person found this helpful
  28. TBella
    TBella avatar
    196 posts
    24 July 2017 in reply to white knight

    Very sage advice!!

    thanks

    Tbella

  29. CMF
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    CMF avatar
    8660 posts
    24 August 2017 in reply to white knight

    Thanks Tony,

    Food for thought.

    A case of Feel the fear and do it anyway ? I have that book, i should read it.

    cmf x

  30. white knight
    Community Champion
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    white knight avatar
    9214 posts
    24 August 2017 in reply to CMF

    Great CMF.

    there is "switching mindsets" also.

    Tony WK

    1 person found this helpful

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