Hi LL is Worn Out
My heart goes out to you so much as you try to manage multiple conditions without the best support and guidance.
I wonder whether a break down of everything would begin to make some difference. Wondering whether it's worth starting with the impact of pure exhaustion. A lot of people can really start to beat themself up while in a state of pure exhaustion, without recognising the full impact of this mind altering state.
With anxiety, with both your mind and body in almost constant states of hyperactivity, do you find the anxiety leads you to feel like you're running marathons? Add to this the amount of hyperactivity that goes into reforming a woman's body during change of life and this ramps up to a whole new level. At 50, I find managing peri menopause leads me to feel like I'm stuck in an experiment when it comes to what works and what doesn't.
Having a couple of possible reasons for the pure exhaustion, add energy deprivation to this. While there are all the usual resources for energy restoration, sleep is possibly the biggest. Personally, hydration and sleep are my top 2. If I don't have enough of either, I'm stuffed. I wear an oral appliance for diagnosed sleep apnea and can feel the difference if I don't wear it. Can remember seeing GPs, based on me feeling thoroughly exhausted and feeling like I was going back into a depression. 'It's just a part of the life of a mum, feeling this way' blah blah. One doc even laughed. I wouldn't settle. Pays to be your own detective.
While you could have people say to you 'You just need to feel a little more positive', you could easily say 'I barely have enough energy to feel my own body, let alone feel positive'. By the way, a lot of the chemistry we need to feel certain feelings can be pretty low while in a state of exhaustion.
Do you feel the GP isn't acknowledging your exhaustion, the fact that you're possibly running on empty? Do you feel the medication is zapping what little energy you've got left? On top of everything, throw a government into the mix which doesn't support it's people on a case by case basis and it all feels like a recipe for depression. 20 jobs in rural Aus, what the heck?! The Aus government seriously triggers me at times.
Could addressing energy levels be a good start with your GP? Could living life with a lot more energy lead you to begin seeing and feeling things from a slightly different perspective regarding the way forward? Could this trigger other changes?