Hi, I'm looking for advice on a stressful situation. My father has narcissistic personality disorder (not officially diagnosed, just obvious), and has controlled and manipulated people all his life. He is now 87, and losing his memory. Sometimes he can't remember to cook, he leaves the stove on, and can't remember what he needed at the shops.
His partner of more than 10 years is suddenly leaving him, selling the house they live in and taking everything, threatening to leave him on the street. I can't blame her for that, but he needs care and she's too angry with him to help organise it. The path of least resistance for her is also to just accept it when he says he's fine to live alone and doesn't need her. He currently needs somewhere to live, but will not admit he needs help. He gets extremely angry when the topic is discussed, I've tried to raise it several times and he hangs up on me and tells me not to call or visit. Then he forgets we had the conversation, but each time I try he has the same reaction. I don't believe he can or will ever admit he needs help as that would be admitting weakness. He tells people he's cured cancer in several people and has constant delusions of grandeur.
We had a NSW aged care person visit, but he lied to them about how capable he was and they believed him. I called them to fill them in but they said without his consent they can't organise any care for him.
I'm worried he'll go to live on this own, not remember to pay his bills, leave the stove on or forget to cook and either have an accident or get sick and decline further. He doesn't have any money, can't save it (he spends compulsively) and doesn't have any friends. I don't live anywhere near him and travel a lot and can't help much, also for my own survival I'd rather stay low contact or no contact. He left my mum and our family over 20 years ago, but there is no-one else to look out for him.
Thanks for any help.