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Forums / Welcome and orientation / Feeling forgotten

Topic: Feeling forgotten

10 posts, 0 answered
  1. Aeceran
    Aeceran avatar
    1 posts
    17 May 2019
    Hi not sure how to start
    Im 27 years old and I feel that my whole life I have always had it hard and that life is unfair. I know it is for everyone but I feel that it was extra for me. I never found a friend that I could connect with. Everyone has 1 best friend, i don't have one.
    Throughout school no one wanted to talk to me. I had social anxiety and made it hard. But I got told to make the first step and approach and I did but still they would not have me. Worse they verbally bullied me by talking behind my back. I overheard them sometimes.
    When I went to work I met some people and they were nice and I thought I finally made some friends but sadly they messaged me less and less till eventually we don't talk anymore. In my new workplace, the people are lovely and I try to start conversation but it never catches on. I feel invisible there. Some of these people say, when they do talk to me, that I'm funny and and good to talk to but it never moves past acquaintance stage. I don't feel like I'm part of the team.
    My family is amazing but my sister is always out with her friends or at work and my brothers busy with theirs.
    My whole life I had no one. No one to open up to. I've never even had a boyfriend. I've now been told I have arthritis in many joints and a bone tumour (non cancerous) on my rib that causes a lot of pain. It keeps me up most nights. I want to talk about it but everyone seems to busy for me and often forget. Life is just going on and is dragging me along too without caring wether I'm enjoying my time.
    I'm starting to feel depressed but I don't know if it's because of my lack of sleep or the way my life has been.
    I don't know what I'm looking for here but I just want to get these thoughts and feelings out I guess.
    3 people found this helpful
  2. Peacesearcher
    Peacesearcher avatar
    3 posts
    18 May 2019 in reply to Aeceran

    Hi Aeceran,

    I saw your post currently had no replies and, given the content, I didn't want you to feel ignored here as well!

    To be honest, I struggle a bit with social anxiety and feelings of isolation as well, and I know it can be rough. I'm still trying to figure things out as well, so I'm not sure what advice I can give that would be helpful. but I hope knowing that you aren't alone in feeling these things helps just a little. All the best with your health issues.

    3 people found this helpful
  3. Guest_2496
    Guest_2496 avatar
    377 posts
    19 May 2019 in reply to Aeceran

    Hi Aeceran

    Have you spoken to your GP about how you’re feeling? And I’m wondering if you see a psychologist? I think they could really help you work through some of the feelings and perhaps be good to talk to about your health generally so that when you are with co-workers or potential friends you don’t have to discuss health.

    You’re definitely not alone in not having friends. It’s sad but not uncommon. I don’t know the answer but I guess one suggestion is to think about activities you enjoy and look for classes or groups and see if that leads anywhere.

    2 people found this helpful
  4. YellowTulips
    YellowTulips avatar
    1 posts
    19 May 2019 in reply to Aeceran
    Hello Aeceran. Reading the comments of the other two people here, I agree with their suggestions to either join activities/classes where you might meet likeminded people or talk to a psychologist to sort through some of your feelings and get some insight into why you might feel this way. It is hard not having at least one best friend whom you can count on but I think nowadays it is more common than we think for that to be the case. I feel very lonely and isolated myself and just joined this forum to be able to anonymously chat with some people who might help me get through all I am dealing with. I won’t burden you here with my issues but I may start a thread separately. All I can say to you is: don’t give up. Put yourself out there and try and reach out to people. All it takes for your outlook to change is one good friend that you can spend time with and confide in, and it sounds like you are young (in your 20s) and I find that it is much easier for people in your age group to make lasting friendships. Hugs.
    2 people found this helpful
  5. Books1066
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Books1066 avatar
    6 posts
    19 May 2019 in reply to Aeceran

    Hi,

    I don't know if this is going to help you. I just want to tell you you are not alone, in feeling alone. I am 53 and have no best friend. I have felt a misfit my whole life.

    I live alone, my friends from childhood are married with children so their time is focused there. My marriage lasted onlyv18 months due to my bi polar that my husband couldnt cope with.

    I do have a few young friends from my last job but they are busy with their boyfriends etc.

    Like you apart from my mental health issues I have physical health problems. I have had cancer four times and now have some lesions in my back which are suspicious.

    I don't have a lot of hobbies but I have decided at this age I have to do something about being alone all the time.

    I am joining a book club, and a group for people my age that do many different activities together. Maybe I can make some new friends there.

    I wish you well.

    3 people found this helpful
  6. Natalie
    Natalie avatar
    3 posts
    19 May 2019 in reply to Guest_2496
    I see the GP about my health but not about how I feel. I've thought about seeing a psychologist but they are all so expensive. I can't afford them.
  7. Natalie
    Natalie avatar
    3 posts
    19 May 2019 in reply to Books1066
    Does it get easier? Not fitting in and not having friends?
  8. Guest_2496
    Guest_2496 avatar
    377 posts
    19 May 2019 in reply to Natalie

    Hi Natalie

    If you talk to the gp about how you feel they can give you the (verbal) K10 test and then they can give you a ‘mental health plan’ which is basically just a referral to a psych and 10 visits on Medicare.

    Google the K10 (it’s on beyond blue site) and check it out so you don’t feel daunted by it.

    2 people found this helpful
  9. Natalie
    Natalie avatar
    3 posts
    19 May 2019 in reply to Guest_2496
    Thank you! I never knew about that. I'll try it
    1 person found this helpful
  10. Guest_2496
    Guest_2496 avatar
    377 posts
    19 May 2019 in reply to Natalie
    You’re welcome. Keep in touch Natalie, let us know how you get on :)
    1 person found this helpful

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