Hi there, I have joined your forum today as I’m so worried about my son. His dark days are increasing.month by month. He is depressed and removing himself from his everyday life.

he finds it increasingly hard to go to school and engage with people. He has seen a GP but was not very open and honest with him as he was incredibly uncomfortable. He does not feel ready to speak to a professional about how he’s feeling although he was waited listed to see one recently and turned the appointment down. He doesn’t know how he’s feeling he is so lost within himself.

he said he has had thoughts of doing something stupid and I worry these thoughts will increase.

i want to fix him but don’t know how to.

we always tell him we love him, support him and would do anything for him but he feels worthless and I don’t think he believes this or even hears this.

where do I go from here?

Good Morning Anneski

What an amazing mother you are to reach out to get some support and to go to the ends of the earth to help your son, you are wonderful.

It is really hard to be a carer, to try to pull someone out of the darkness when they are so confused and so hurt and in pain and really don't know what and how and so many of the questions thrown at them there are no answers for. You are doing everything right in that being there to comfort him, even just to sit with him without speaking, to let him know he is loved and supported is wonderful.

You can also ask him, and you probably have already, what he needs in his times of feeling so down, how can you support him, what would he like you to do? Once again he may not know but at least you are showing him that you considering what he needs and not what you think is best.

Talking to a GP can be overwhelming, if you wanted to try again you could suggest a different GP if you felt like a connection was not there, also you can help your son to get the best from his appointment by maybe suggesting he write down how he is feeling and anything he can as to what is going on for him. You can pass this note to the GP and this will alleviate the awkwardness of starting a conversation as they will do that. This may help him.

I am not sure how he would feel about reaching out to Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800, the are so skilled at speaking to young adults and to being able to support, I do understand too that talking on the phone is hard for some so maybe even a browse of the website to start with and maybe even a web chat:

https://kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling

 

Please try to take some care for you too, this is a very difficult time but you are doing everything right and we are here to support you too. Try to get some fresh air, maybe a walk, maybe even with your son, just to get a change of scenery and some clarity, if that is possible.

I too am a mother and I am just so proud of you for reaching out to do all you can for your child.

Hugs to you Anneski

Sarah

Hi anneski I’m sorry to hear about what your sons going through & I feel for you to and I’m not sure how old he is but I’m 31 and what I found helped me is I typed up + printed out a list of feelings/thoughts I was having ect ect ect that I handed to my gp straight away before saying anything. So that may help him and I worked out recently that I have a new coping mechanism which is downplaying how I was feeling at the time which that appointment was a week before covid 19 was even first mentioned. Although I’m not been officially diagnosed with anything yet I’ve done a psychologist quiz early last year which I scored high in the high section or whatever it’s called, my gp strongly believes I have depression and since that appointment I’ve been on antidepressants. Please keep up updated and if you need to chat I’m here for you ok.

Hi Anneski,

I'm sorry to hear about what your family is going through. I can't imagine the stress and heartache you are experiencing at the moment.

Although it's not a solution, I hear so many similarities in your story as to the one on the beyond blue podcast - Not alone, supporting a loved one. I thought it might be something you might be interested in checking out?? I know through my journey hearing stories of others going through a similar experiences certainly helped me to not feel so alone.

Much love to you and your family

C.