Common toddler behaviours
Toddlers are explorers.
They’re moving around more, communicating and starting to experience big feelings. But they don’t have the language to express their range of pleasant and unpleasant emotions.
They communicate feelings through:
- behaviours (for example, showing defiance)
- physical reactions (for example, tummy aches or pains).
Often, toddlers go through a phase where they may say “no,” throw objects or scream to communicate feelings such as frustration or helplessness. This is a natural part of development.
It can be tough to stay calm when your toddler does this. When you remain patient and responsive, it can help your child learn to manage their feelings.
Emotional outbursts
Young children have emotional outbursts when they're overwhelmed. You might know these as tantrums or meltdowns.
Toddlers in this state can scream, cry, push, kick or slam doors, among other behaviours. Though it’s a natural part of toddler development, sustained outbursts can be distressing for everyone.
Regular meltdowns from your toddler may also interfere with activities or outings. This can be stressful if it causes both you and your child to miss out on valuable social interactions.
Here are 5 things you can do to take care of yourself and your toddler when it comes to meltdowns.
- Acknowledge your own response. Take some deep breaths if you need to stay calm.
- Have empathy for your toddler. Remember that a child throwing a tantrum is finding their feelings intense and difficult to manage. This happens for every toddler.
- After the tantrum, you may be able to help your child identify what they were feeling, and why. Connect with your child by speaking to them in a calming voice and cuddling them.
- Try to name the emotion your child is experiencing. This helps them connect what they’re feeling with the word for it.
- Talk about other ways to manage strong feelings (for example, using slow breathing or hugging a favourite toy). Reassure them that upset feelings always pass.
Find more strategies for helping toddlers calm down on the Raising Children Network website.
Clinging behaviour
While toddlers like to exercise their autonomy and independence, most also go through a stage where they become anxious about separation.
During this stage, your toddler may:
- want to be held more than usual
- want to be close at all times
- cry or cling to prevent you leaving
- show signs of anxiety around strangers or new people.
This is a natural part of toddler development.
A child may also cling or become anxious about leaving you due to:
- being hungry or tired
- their temperament
- what’s going on in your family life
- changes in their environment
- disruptions to their routine
- being ill or unwell.
You may feel upset and unsure about what to do when this happens.
Remember, your toddler is clinging to you because they trust you. You can help them feel safe in the world by role modelling calm and supportive behaviour.
This includes:
- listening to their concerns
- continuing to gradually introduce them to new places and people
- saying ‘goodbye’ before leaving and assure them you’ll be back (to foster trust)
- praising them when you return and noticing how well they’ve done.
If you’re worried that your child’s reactions seem severe or increase over time, talk to a GP or other health professional.
Read more about anxiety in toddlers on the Emerging Minds website.
Changes to eating habits
Nutrition is important for a healthy toddler.
This is also often the age when your child may start refusing foods they used to like. They may eat only their favourite foods or become fussy about how their food looks on the plate.
While frustrating for parents, this is a normal part of a toddler’s development.
Your child may need to gain confidence in trying new foods. Or they may be trying to show their independence.
Try to make mealtimes as pleasant and low-fuss as possible. This can encourage your toddler to taste and eat a variety of foods.
Most children outgrow this phase in time. If you’re concerned about your child’s nutrition, speak to your GP or maternal and child health nurse.
Find strategies to avoid food becoming a power struggle on the Better Health Channel website.