Coping with loneliness and social isolation at Christmas
The holidays are not a happy time for everyone. Many people find this time of year tough and it’s normal to feel out of step when everyone else seems joyful.
It helps to understand your feelings, to reach out if you’re able to, and remember we’re here if you need someone to talk to.
What loneliness and social isolation can feel like
Loneliness isn’t just being alone. It’s feeling disconnected, or invisible, like your relationships aren’t how you want them to be. Social isolation means having few social contacts or support or watching from the sidelines.
People who feel lonely often say:
“I don’t have anyone to talk to.”
- “I don’t want to burden others.”
- “I feel invisible.”
These feelings can be painful and might affect your sleep, and even physical things like your blood pressure or immunity to sickness.
You might feel tired, lack motivation or energy, and find it hard to enjoy things the way you normally do.
Why the Christmas holidays can feel harder
There are lots of reasons you could find the holidays, and the run up to them, hard to cope with. Media and social media’s focus on Christmas and New Year’s Eve can make feelings of loneliness and isolation stronger.
Reasons you might be feeling lonely can include:
- Missing loved ones or grieving someone
- Living far from friends or family
- Dealing with money worries that mean you can’t join in or contribute
- Feeling like you don’t belong or are unsure how to fill the time
- In the middle of relationship breakdowns or family tension, or dealing with feelings of rejection
Beyond Blue is here for you
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, we're here for you. Call us on 1300 22 4636 or use our support services, available 24/7, every day of the year
Different people in different situations often feel lonely at this time of year
The idea of the perfect Christmas doesn’t fit everyone’s lifestyle and situation, which can create pressure that many can't meet, making isolation feel sharper.
People in these situations can often feel affected:
- Young people, especially young women and LGBTQIA+ youth
- People living with mental or physical health conditions
- People experiencing financial stress or housing insecurity
- Single parents and people living alone, or living far from family and friends
- People from culturally diverse backgrounds who may not celebrate Christmas
- Older people living in care centres or not connected to family
If you’re managing a mental health condition over Christmas
The festive season can disrupt routines and access to care.
Ways to lighten up the holidays
Exploring new activities and fresh ways to think about the holidays can help you feel more in control and make solo celebrations more satisfying.
Simple ways to enjoy Christmas alone
Make sure you have support – It can be hard if your regular counsellor, GP or trusted person is away over the holidays, so talk to them early about support for you while they’re away.
Talk about it – There are places online like Beyond Blue’s Forums, where people gather to talk about how they’re feeling. You might find someone with a similar experience to you.
Look around – If you’re in a place that has community events, volunteering opportunities, or hobby groups, you could join up to help out or join in on activities.
Reach out – If you know of someone else who is alone over the holidays, like an elderly neighbour or more distant family member, you could give them a call or drop over with something to share.
Be kind to yourself – It’s not your fault how you feel. Think about things you really love that you’d like to do and find a way to give yourself some of this experience, as a gift.
Limit social media – It’s easy to compare your life to others online. Remember, most people only share the highlights on social media, not the low times.
Lower your expectations – Try to focus on your own experience, and things you can, and like to, do.
Make your own traditions – What could the Christmas and New Year holidays come to mean to you if you started your own traditions or ways of celebrating?
Beyond Blue counsellors
Our free telephone and online counselling service is open 24/7 for everyone in Australia.
Kids Helpline
24/7 private and confidential phone and online counselling service for young people aged 5 to 25.
